The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Friday, March 25, 2016

For Rich or for Poor: Building Castles With Your Love

When looking for a partner in life, many people have this idea, this image so to speak of what they hope to find in a match. Most people are probably out there looking for the perfect package. That perfect package usually consists of many things. The fire and chemistry is usually first on the list. Then comes compatibility, communication, and common interests. After that, people usually ask each other enough questions to see if they ultimately want the same things in their future. It's important to know whether or not you're compatible on as many levels as possible. There are endless things that people look for when searching for their partner. Two of those things are financial security and stability.

I've already written an article about love or money. It definitely seems like a no-brainer to me why anyone would choose money over love, because money doesn't bring true happiness. Having said that, some people are looking for the full package, and they view money, security, and luxury as part of that package. On the contrary, there are many people that don't feel this way. Many people truly want to have that companion in life that will be there through good times and bad times, whether there's money in the bank or not. When you truly love someone, and want to spend your life with them, not having a lot of money in the bank won't be a make it or break it issue. At least, not when their head's on straight, they truly love you, and they're with you for the right reasons. For people that are just starting out dating, and hoping to find a package that includes all of the above, many times they'll have strong feelings, attraction, and a desire to be with a person, but they won't proceed because of financial reasons.

This leads me to these big questions.

Wouldn't you rather that someone loves you for you and not for your money or what you can give them?

Whether you're rich or poor, wouldn't you rather know that someone was willing to build a life with you?

Wouldn't you rather know that someone would love you, and money had nothing to do with it?

Wouldn't you rather know that it's not about the size of the ring, the car that you drive, the place that you live, or the amount of properties that you own, etc.?

Let's put these questions to rest. They're all rhetorical, obvious, and we all want to know these things.

When it comes to dating and finding your true love, the things that you've worked hard for, any success, and luxury that you might've attained in your life is merely frosting. No one should be with someone for the amount of money that they have, just the same as no one should turn someone down or not proceed forward with them for not having a large savings, etc (see: "Does It Take a Lot of Money to Date in LA"). If you love someone, and see a possible future with them, and they doesn't necessarily have a lot of money, or any savings for that matter, you should feel proud that a person wants to be with you for all of the right reasons. You shouldn't fear the unknown to the extent that you won't proceed with the relationship, because of financial insecurity. 

It's important to build together, dream together, and know that what you have together is strong, and based on healthy foundation. There's no part of having a healthy foundation in which money and financial security is a factor or a requirement. People are just reading the wrong love stories. Healthy foundations are based on things like good communication, effort, honesty, and being giving and loving to your partner. It's about being on the same page, and being willing to work on things in your relationship. It's not about what someone can do for you, and what you can get out of them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that money isn't important to have to live a comfortable, and secure life. Having financial security is what everyone hopes to have in their life. However, it doesn't bring love, nor does it make relationships work.

Whether someone is rich or poor, it shouldn't define the person, or make or break the relationship. Money shouldn't be the reason to hold someone back from starting a life with another if that's what they intend on doing. A couple can always start out slow, grow, and build castles together. It doesn't take money to have a commitment. Isn't teamwork what it's all about anyway. Again, that's a rhetorical statement. As well, people shouldn't judge others upon their wealth when it comes to dating, etc. If someone has a lot of money, and they can provide a great life for their future partner, then great! But, if someone doesn't have money, they can still build castles with their partner. It may take time, but it's not only possible. When a couple is strong, and maintains a healthy and loving relationship, anything can happen. Especially, when they're with each other for the right reasons. Not just anything can happen, but when you have a healthy relationship, your success is bound to go far, and nothing is as good as having a backbone, and the loving support system of a partner.