Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Staying Focused and on Track - Even When People Try to Weigh You Down

In case you haven't heard of inspiration killers, let me explain who they are. They are people who take you out of your work mode, and tend to kill inspiration. They're the selfish types who consume your time, energy, and completely soak up your positive energy and light. The simple solution: Don't let them! Separate yourselves from those who don't understand that you have a life outside of them and their wants and needs. You don't owe anyone your time or energy, and especially when they're being selfish and unsupportive of you striving towards your goals.

There will always be people that will try to weigh you down or take you out of your work mode. This is why it's imperative to stay focused and on track as much as you possibly can. We all have the power to take control of our lives, and to create space from those who try to hold us back in any way. You should only surround yourself with people that will be understanding, loving, and truly want you to succeed in life. Anyone who doesn't understand that you have priorities in life, isn't respecting you the way that they should. Like I said, surround yourself with people who will understand that you have different priorities that at times might come first. 

It's important to have goals in life, and to work hard and be determined towards attaining them. When we make the time for all of our priorities, then nothing gets left behind. But when we don't make things priorities, when we put them aside, or postpone them for later, nothing will ever get done. Everything that's important to you in life should be treated as a priority. This is also relevant when it comes to relationships, because you should put aside designated time for family, friends, and your love life if that's something that you hope to attain. 

You should be dedicated to everything that's important to you, and you should treat all of those things and people as priorities. But when someone isn't understanding of the fact that you are merely one person, and can only focus on one thing at a time, they're taking you down a negative path, but you have the power not to let them. To those types of people that you might have in your life, communicate your feelings to them and let them know how much you care, but also that you need to have certain boundaries, and they should be understanding of them. 

Don't ever let others make you feel bad for having other priorities or being too busy at different times. No one should make you feel bad when you're too busy or don't have the time for them. But if you care about people enough, and you want them in your life, then you should treat them as a priority and make the time for them when you're free. In other words, do what you have to do, and take care of your priorities, but also make the time for your other priorities as well. 

Truly successful people wake up early, are determined, focused, and go after what they want. And they don't let others hold them back in any way. So if you want to be truly successful in your life, remember to stay focused and go after what you want, but also make sure that you're treating everything of value to you as a priority. Having enough balance in your life can be truly helpful as well. You see, part of having a balanced life is making the time for all of your priorities, so that everything gets done. But just remember, one of the best ways of being able to maintain focus towards things that you view as important in your life, is by surrounding yourself with people that will be supportive and understanding of what you're doing and what you're trying to accomplish.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The Fuel to Fight Even Harder

There will be people in life that don't believe in you, that don't think you have a chance at succeeding, or that don't even want you to succeed for that matter. Those types of people are negative and toxic and you shouldn't keep them around in your life. You shouldn't be friends with people that are negative and unsupportive. But those are also the very same types of people that will bring you down, distract you, make you feel inadequate, and as if you're not good enough. 

No one needs those types of people around when they're working hard towards getting what they want in life. That's why we should ignore them, and cut out their noise. Get your head straight and start living your life in a way that what others say doesn't even phase you, let alone kill your enthusiasm. Don't give people so much control over your emotions, and never to the point where it negatively affects you.

Not everyone in life is going to want you to succeed. Some people feel so inadequate with their own lives, that they want to take you down with them. That's why they say that "misery loves company." We all have the power to surround ourselves with positive people that are enlightened and kind hearted. There's no room in anyone's world to have family, friends, or even acquaintances that are negative. And we should be strong enough not to listen to the negative opinions of others. You should distance yourself with negative and toxic people as much as you possibly can. 

We all need to be resilient and strong enough to the point where what others say doesn't affect us. At least not in a negative way. When people are truly motivated, driven, and resilient, they'll not only be O.K. with listening to negative feedback or criticism, but they'll use it as fuel, and work even harder towards getting what they want in life. But then again, there are many people that are weak and unable to connect with their resilient side, and those are the types that end up feeling down, depressed, and deflated, and they might even stop going after their goals because of it. 

It's important not to let others bring you down. But we can't control the actions of others, only our own. Having said that, more importantly than not letting others bring us down, we should feel enough inner strength, resilience, and drive towards getting what we want that nothing anyone says can harm us. We should naturally feel the desire to go after what we want even more when we're criticized. And when people don't believe in us, it's almost as if that should be enough fuel to work even harder towards our goals, even if it's simply just to prove them wrong. 

It doesn't really matter what you use as fuel, as long as it motivates you and gets you to where you want to be. But the type of fuel that you get when someone doesn't believe in you, is the type that many people in this world have become truly successful from. Nothing feels better than becoming successful, getting to the top, and being exactly where you've wanted to be all your life. But getting there takes hard work, determination, and the will to succeed. 

You can't give up when things get hard, when you're faced with challenges, when there are bumps in the road, or even when people don't believe in you. If you want anything bad enough in life, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it, and then be willing to work hard towards maintaining it. The truth is, who cares what people think. If you want anything bad enough, you need to overcome the noise and negativity that others might give you, and keep go after what you want.

Monday, December 12, 2016

When Couples Forget What Matters the Most

Sometimes they make little things a big deal. We do so, because in particular moments we might feel that some things really are a big deal. But in that very moment, a lot of times we forget what's really important, and we lose focus, forgetting have sacred and beautiful we want our relationship to be. We forget that happiness and feeling in love is the most important thing to us at times, and this is why I wrote this article. 

We should always appreciate the things that we have in life and focus on that much more so, than we think of all of the things that we lack or on those things that we haven't yet attained. When we focus on the positive, and concentrate on all of the beautiful and good things in our lives, and on the things that we have, Will be happier in our current state, and in each moment. If we're busy focusing on the future too much, and to the point where it takes away from the now, and in this very moment that we're living and breathing, we'll never be happy. 

It's always a good idea to nip things in the bud, and to address issues early on, rather than save them and address them all at once, because that will likely end up being like an explosion. Imploding your feelings and concerns is never the way to go. It's always best to address issues one by one and as things happen. That way nothing becomes a bigger deal than it needs to be. As well, it's also important to try not to make big issues out of on important matters. And in order to do that, we have to know and understand what truly matters to us most. It's never a good thing when someone complains all of the time or never seems happy with anything, because that will end up not only taking away your happiness as a couple, but it will likely drain you and your partner's energy. 

It's important to pick and choose your battles. Not everything needs to be a battle, and both people in a relationship need to realize that. It's never about winning or losing, and therefore, it's unimportant who wins an argument or was right at the end of the day. What's important is that you address issues early on, and that not everything becomes an issue because the truth is, nothing is really that big of a deal in the end. 

The most important thing in a relationship is to feel happy, and for your partner to feel happy, and for your relationship to thrive in that state of happiness not just for the moment, but for a lifetime. And the only way to get to that point, is by not making everything a big deal, by being easy-going, and by addressing issues early on instead of sweeping things under the rug. Don't be afraid to hash things out and to work on your issues, because that's how relationships improve. Good things take hard work, and if you want great results and then ultimately successful relationship for the long term, then you have to be willing to put in the hard work, effort, and love that it takes to make it work. 

Sunday, December 4, 2016

When Your Partner Doesn't Feel Your Love

No one should ever be made to feel that they're hard to love. If you're in a relationship where the person tells you that not only are you hard to love, but as if the way that they're loving you never seems to get through to you, or doesn't seem adequate enough, just know that there are other reasons for why that's happening, and it's not necessarily your fault or even true. You're not hard to love. The right person is going to love and adore you just the way that you are, and they'll never, and I mean never view you as difficult to love. 

We all want to feel loved in the way that works for us as individuals, and where we'll feel loved the most. Does that make sense to you? You see, each of us feels and embraces love in a different manner. This is why it's so imperative to be direct, and have great communication with the person that you're with, and to let them know what makes you feel loved the most. 

You can't expect that someone is going to automatically know how you want to be loved, unless you're going to be willing to tell them. Having great communication is everything if you want to have a healthy relationship. And when it comes to loving a person the way that they want to be loved, the only way to know how, is to ask the person directly. Oh, and they should ask you as well. You might feel loved an entirely different way.

Relationships are all about learning what the other person likes, dislikes, and what works for them and makes them feel loved. You have to be willing to treat each and every new relationship as if there were a blank, clean slate, and not bring your own ideas, thoughts, and assumptions are from what you've experienced previously into this new relationship. No one wants to be loved exactly like your ex might have. You can't expect that the person that you're with will want to be treated in the same manner or even loved in the same way that your ex might have. 

We are all unique and beautiful individuals, and should be treated as such. Therefore, if you're in a relationship and the person feels that you're hard to love, then one of two things is likely occurring. Either they're not loving you in a way that works for you and makes you feel loved, or they're not the right match for you. Either way, don't get down or upset about it. Just try to communicate your feelings to your partner and see if you can resolve these issues, and whether or not they're open to loving you in a way in which you'll feel their love more.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Spread Love, Kindness, and Stop the Hate

You give what you get in life. This is something that we all need to realize. If you want love, then you need to give love. If you want to get a certain type of treatment from others, then you need to be able to give that type of treatment back. But if you're going to be a hypocrite, do nothing, be selfish, and only think of your own feelings, then not much good is going to come from it. 

We all have a choice to think before we act, and to be selfless and giving towards others. It's all in our own hands. We all have a choice to make wise decisions, and to choose good over evil. One way love doesn't exist, and it's time that we all start realizing that it takes two to make a difference in this world. 

You can't change other people, so if someone isn't giving you kind or loving treatment when you've been kind to them, then you need to recognize that situation for what it is, and accept that person for how they are, and exclude them from your life. You shouldn't waste your time with hateful, negative, or toxic people. And you should never wait for others to be giving, selfless, or loving to you, before you act kind and loving yourself. 

Concentrate on your own actions, and be first when it comes to displaying your love and kindness. Set an example, and take the lead. Don't wait for others to make the first move, because many times people are afraid and live their life based on the fear of not being accepted or loved. Spread love, kindness, and do things without having an ulterior motive. Do sweet gestures and kind acts just because. Don't do things that are kind, simply because you want kind things done for you in return. Have pure intentions and loving motives when it comes to being selfless and giving. 

Make a stand, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. Each one of us can make a big difference in this world for the better if we all focus more of our attention on how we act and think, rather than waiting for someone else to make a change. If each one of us spreads love and kindness, instead of hate, then this world will become how it should be, a beautiful place to live in and embrace. Let's all do our part.

Why Rejection Isn't the the Worst Thing

We all want to feel loved by someone. And not just anyone. We all want that one special love that's going to love us the way that we want to be loved. Not everyone is capable or is going to be willing to love us the way that we need or desire. That's why it's important never to settle for the wrong person or someone that's just a temporary type of love. We all deserve to have a unique love, and of love that's only meant for us. 

Not everyone is meant to be yours, and only for you. And just because you might have developed feelings for someone, they might not return those feelings, and it might hurt. It usually does to some degree, and especially, when you've developed feelings for them. That's why it's important to always try to be on the same page as someone that you're dating or interested in. The best method for doing that is by taking things slowly, and instead of reading into situations, assuming what someone might be feeling or thinking, you maintain a direct and honest approach. 

We have to be able to accept rejection in life, and that goes for in love as well. When someone rejects you or isn't interested in you, it's important to be able to take it with a grain of rice so to speak. You should only want to be loved and adored by a person that's willing to love and adore you back. 

Don't let yourself get caught up with intense and passionate feelings for someone, when you don't know whether or not they even like you, let alone love you and feel the same way. Always try to be on the same page as the person that you're dating, so that your love will be balanced. Go at a healthy pace where you can both equally develop feelings for one another, and where you'll know that you're on the same page. 

Having said all of the above, you should know that rejection happens, and despite the fact that it's sometimes or perhaps usually a hard pill to swallow, we need to not only accept that at times someone might not love us back, but we need to be more than O.K. with it. When someone doesn't want us in the same manner in which we want them, we need to be strong, resilient, and know that the right person will eventually come into our lives, and it will be for keeps. 

More than anything, when someone rejects us, we tend to close our hearts, and build emotional walls and barriers whether on a conscious or unconscious level. And that's one of the worst things that we can do to ourselves. You see, it's imperative to have an open heart. And even when we get hurt or let down by someone, because that's the very moment in which we should find resilience and become even stronger. 

Closing the door to your beautiful open heart, and not letting anyone in, makes it so that they don't see who the real you is. And the real you is a beautiful person. It's the person that the right person is going to fall in love with. But not when you close up your heart. You have to be approachable, and willing to embrace love. And part of embracing love is being willing to risk getting hurt, putting your heart on the line, and risking for it to get hurt or even shattered. But never, and I mean never close up your heart or build those emotional walls, because it will end up with you not being open to the love of your life when it actually does appear. 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

The Power of Appreciation on Thanksgiving

One of the best ways of finding happiness in life is to appreciate the things that we have, as opposed to the things that we lack. If we spend our time thinking about all of those little things that we want in life, but either don't have them or perhaps they're certain goals that we haven't yet achieved, we're basically not living in the moment, or enjoying life to the fullest. 

The amount of happiness that we have each and every day is all based on our perception and how we feel about things, and whether or not we appreciate them. If we start focusing on all of the positive things that we have in life, then we'll all be a little bit happier. One of the biggest problems that we all have in which takes away so much of our happiness is that we're always worrying. We have endless concerns about things, which many times, we don't even have control over. 

It's important not to rush things in life or to want things before you're ready to have them. Some of the best things in life take time to develop, patience, and simply having a positive outlook. Try to embrace all of the good things in your life, and enjoy the moment, each day, and all of the little things that go on in your life. The more thankful and appreciative that we are about the little things that we have in life, the more that we'll be whole and a complete person. As well, if we appreciate what we have, we'll be more apt to take on different challenges, and we'll have so so more enthusiasm towards striving towards our goals.

Having a positive outlook is imperative for each and every one of us, and that's why we need to focus on the positives in life, and not avoid the negatives, or ignore them by any means, but more so, we should simply be appreciative of all of the good things in our life and acknowledge them. When we don't appreciate things enough, we tend to lose them or they tend to not be maintained in their best manner. This goes from everything from relationships to your personal belongings, or even in regards to how you look in your appearance. 

If we take care of ourselves and love ourselves enough, it's a way of appreciating how we are, and how we look. You see, when we appreciate how we look, we tend to take better care of ourselves. Be thankful for all of the things that you have in life, and remember on this Thanksgiving Day, as well as any other day of the year, you should be thankful for what you have and concentrate on those things, as opposed to what you lack. Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

6 Important Things to Remember If You're Dating Someone Who Is Emotionally Unavailable

Being able to connect with your partner is essential in a healthy relationship. Relationships that are one-sided in any way, won't work. If you're unable to let go of your past or if you have wounds from a previous heartache, deal with it on your own, and don't think of yourself as "single and ready to mingle," because let me tell you, you're not ready, you're just single.

1. Stop Dating Them

If you're willing to date someone that you know is emotionally unavailable or commitmentphobic, you likely either have a low self-esteem, you're drawn to the person because you, yourself have issues with commitment, you have a self-destructive personality, or perhaps the reason is because you like "the challenge" and want to be with the person because you enjoy "the chase." Never date someone that's emotionally unavailable and disconnected. Doing so will leave you feeling unhappy, miserable, confused, lonely, and you'll likely end up being the one that gets hurt in the end.

2. Don't Try to Fix Them 

You're not a saviour. Relationships shouldn't have to involve you having to fix anyone. Someone that's emotionally unavailable isn't broken, they're just unable to connect on an emotional level. They not only need to be self-aware enough to realize that they have a problem, but they need to  be willing to change. You cannot and should not even try to change them - it's not your job. And unless they're willing to work on themselves and bring down their emotional barriers, they'll never be able to fall in love - not with you, and not with anyone, even themselves.

3. Don't Change Yourself

You are not the problem. Just keep telling yourself that, and remember never to blame yourself for why the other person is acting the way that they do. Don't change how you act, how you look, or what you feel is right versus wrong. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and respect yourself enough to walk away from a toxic and dead-end situation. But definitely, don't change in order to please someone that's emotionally unavailable and disconnected. Just be you, stay you, and continue about your journey in the best way that you know how. Changing yourself will only take away from your true inner beauty, and besides, an emotionally unavailable person will never be satisfied with any changes that you make. And if anything, an emotionally unavailable person is the one that needs to do the changing. 

4. Don't Walk on Eggshells

Don't change who you are at your core. You should never have to feel fear in a healthy relationship. There's never a good reason for you or anyone to have to walk on eggshells or to be afraid of acting as themselves or of doing and saying certain things. Don't let someone that's emotionally unavailable direct your relationship or run the show, because until they fix themselves, they won't be able to even direct their own life, let alone, your relationship, or "the whole show." No one deserves to live in fear, and it's very common for emotionally unavailable people to project their hardened and emotionally disconnected hearts onto their partner, their date, or just others in general. Just remember, loving, happy, and healthy relationships take a certain amount of connecting, and feeling a sense of emotional closeness is essential if you want your relationship to thrive.

5. Don't Make Excuses for Them

Don't make excuses for their bad behaviour. People only deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt when they don't have a track record. Someone that's emotionally unavailable is sitting on a large and fat track record. Someone who's emotionally unavailable shouldn't even be in a relationship, let alone to deserve such a sweet partner that would make excuses for them, believe in them, feel hope, and stick around as their ship sinks. Don't stick around! And stop making excuses for them... If they flake on you, if they're busy, or if they have so many other things going on, it's still not an excuse to accept being treated poorly. Don't accept some lousy and flimsy type of excuse as to why they're not being close with you.

6. Don't Let Them Blame You

You're not a doormat. You're not a backseat. Remember this... you ride shotgun in your relationship. I don't care whether you're riding shotgun or you're the driver, but you should never settle for anyone that makes you feel as if you get the "privilege" of sitting in the backseat, and that your feelings don't matter. Hey! You're a priority and should be treated like one. Love and respect yourself enough not to let someone treat you as an option. Someone that's emotionally unavailable will tend to take advantage of the person that their dating, and many times, without even realize it. They tend to be selfish, and to only think of themselves and their own feelings.  

Monday, October 24, 2016

Why You Should Be Authentic and Show Your Emotional Side

When it comes to dating or exploring a new relationship, one of the best things that I'd suggest is to be authentic and act like yourself. Many times people put on a front or show some version of themselves that isn't the real them. There should only be one version of yourself. That's the version that you should be and act like on your date. 

Something that I've always said, and I'm sure many of you can relate to, is the fact that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. Another thing that I've always said is that, I'm not afraid to lose someone that I don't have. Having said this, I want you all to take a moment to think about the person that you're dating and getting to know, and ask yourself, "Are you acting like you're authentic self and being the real you?" 

If someone doesn't like you for you, then you're wasting your time. You should be with someone that likes who you are without you having to put on an act or try to impress them. Relationships where people don't act like themselves don't have a very good chance at working out. Don't worry about the fact that the other person "might not like you" if you act like yourself, because that just means that they're not right for you, and you should want to be with your best possible match, not just a good match or a great catch. 

If you're afraid to act like yourself because you know how you are, and you think that you're a very emotional personyou need to stop right there. Being your authentic self is everything when it comes to starting something new. You need to like yourself and embrace that you're an emotional person. My personal preference would always rather be with someone that's emotional and passionateas long as they don't have a bad temper. 

When someone isn't afraid to show their emotions and wears their heart on their sleeve, it's one of the most beautiful things. I mean, my goodness, my children look at me and embrace who I am, and how emotional I get even when I'm watching a silly cartoon commercial. Being emotional is a beautiful thing, and you should never be afraid to show that side of you, because the right person will love that part of you, and never want to change it. Remember, it's those little idiosyncrasies and personality traits that are exclusively yours, and that make you who you are. And those are the very same characteristics that the right match for you is going to love, adore, and embrace. 

Monday, October 17, 2016

The Straight Arrow Path to Success

We would all like to get to the top and successful. But it takes hard work, effort, and that "go get it" factor. We need drive to succeed, and that fire to burn our buns, in order to get what we want in life. Sitting back, and waiting for things to happen will get you nowhere. If anyone wants anything bad enough, they need to go after it. I decided to create a list of a few essential factors that will make all of the difference on your path to success. But one thing that's imperative to remember, is that to feel truly proud of our accomplishments in life, we must do things the right way morally, and by being a righteous person.

Don't Take Shortcuts:

Do things the right way and in a righteous manner. Don't search for the easy way to get to where you want to be, just because it looks quicker, less stressful, and easier when you know that the path you're thinking I have isn't righteous or morally a good choice. Remember, short term light, usually leads to long-term darkness, so make your decisions carefully, and stay righteous and decent at the same time. 

Value Your Time:

Our time is precious, and we should make things that are important to us priorities, and treat them as such. Postponing things, putting them off, and leaving them for later is never a wise choice if you want to be successful. Pick and choose your break time wisely and what you do with it, because a break shouldn't last for more than a few moments. A break is something that should be experienced once you've accomplished a certain amount of work towards your end goal. 

Choose Supportive Friends or No Friends:

I just surround yourself with no one, or those that have your best interest at heart. Pick and choose your friends wisely, and only bring in those that love, appreciate, support, and value you as a person. Make sure that you avoid bringing in negativity, and any type of toxic person. Toxic people can become a mental, emotional, and psychological disability if you let them. Besides, they'll drain your positive energy until there's nothing left. 

Don't Be a Perfectionist:

If you strive for perfection, don't see it as the main or ending goal. Instead, strive to make things as perfect as possible, but know in the back of your head that there is no such finish line. Many times perfectionist end up being too hard on themselves, and are even unable to accept compliments and what they're achieving, as they strive towards their goals. It's important to genuinely accept compliments and take them to heart. Be happy, proud, yet remaining humble on your journey toward success. Don't expect perfection, just drive to be the best that you can be, and in all that you do. 

Be Healthy and Stay Active:

Don't say that you don't have time for taking good care of yourself, because you do. Everyone needs to make the time for their priorities, and taking care of themselves. Being healthy, and staying active are definite priorities when it comes to being the best that you can be, and in order to put your best foot forward. In order to work hard and to do your best, you need to be in a healthy state of mind, as well as in an emotionally peaceful place. 

Friday, October 14, 2016

Dating Someone Who Isn't Formally Educated

Most people have different requirements that they hope to find in a partner. For some people a big requirement is having a formal education or even degrees of different sorts. For many, not only having a formal education is a must-have, but also having a steady and stable job is imperative. It's important you know what you want in a partner. Having said that, you can't expect to find perfection in anyone or to find every little thing that you hope for in another person. 

There is no complete package, despite how many people praise their partners in relationships. When a person says that their partner is a complete package or even when any random person seems to be, it's usually because they seem that way, and not that they actually are that way. No one is perfect, and again, there is no complete package of perfection. 

When a person has many of the qualities that you're looking for in a match, you may define that as a complete package for you, but the reality is that nothing is perfect, and neither is anyone. When it comes to wanting to be with someone that's highly educated, then you should go after people that are in fact, highly educated, and not waste your time or other people's time, dating around when that requirement isn't there. Nothing's worse than when someone wastes time with a person that isn't educated, knowing that it's a requirement for them to have in a partner. 

For many people though, it's more important for them to with a person that's highly intelligent, and open to learning new things, as opposed to someone that's school smart, or as one would call "well educated." One might even call an educated person highly educated, formally educated, or even scholarly. For many people it's more than adequate enough when their partner is smart, and even streetsmart for that matter. It's important for many, if not most, to be able to communicate with their partner, and at times discuss more intellectual topics. 

How Important Is It for You to Be with Someone who's Formally Educated?

Having an intellectual connection is definitely important to me, and I assume, for many. It's all about what a person's preferences are as to whether or not they feel it's mandatory to have schooling and higher education be the route of their partner's intelligence, as opposed to someone that's merely street smart, and knows the ropes. In other words, ultimately, it's all about what different individual wants in a mate. You should only date people that are open-minded and really interested in dating someone like you, whether you're street smart, or whether you have an elaborate education. 

Last but not least, it's important to remember that you can't change people, and you shouldn't even try to for that matter. If you love everything about a person, except for the fact that they're not well educated or some type of overachiever as you might like, then you shouldn't be going out with them. But definitely, don't ever try to change them to make them into the person that you'd want them to be. It's not only unfair to the person, but it's wrong on your end for giving a chance to a situation that you shouldn't. You should know from the very get-go what's important for you to have in a partner, and you should only date those that are in the realm of what you're looking for. 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Fear of Rejection and Making the First Move

We all have certain things that we're really good at. Some people are better at some things than others. It's a really great quality to be self-aware, and to know who you are as an individual. Being in touch with who you are as a person can play a huge role in knowing what you're really good at or not good at for that matter. As far as being able to approach someone or make the first move when it comes to dating, it takes a lot of courage and confidence. Not to mention, one of the biggest factors always ends up being how badly do you want someone

How much we want something and what it's worth to us can pertain to goals that we have in life and even when it comes to making that first move towards dating someone, or even speaking to them for that matter. You have to have confidence and guts in order to talk someone for the first time. You never really know what someone's response is going to be, and you have to be willing to be strong and resilient enough to accept the possibility of being rejected. Despite how much courage and confidence someone has to talk to someone and to make that first move, you have to be mentally and emotionally in the right mind frame where you can take it with a grain of rice if someone rejects you. 

As far as being turned down by someone, and even in a cold, harsh, or rude way at times, it's important to know that it's better to lose something that you don't actually have yet. As well, you shouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. For me personally, if someone isn't interested in me or even attracted to me for that matter, I don't even give it a second thought, and I move on. 

Generally speaking, I like people that like me, and I think that's a healthy mindset to have. You can't expect for every single person in this world to find you appealing, attractive, or desirable. Having said that, the right person will not only find it flattering when you make the first move and approach them, but they'll likely be kind, appreciative, and be more than happy that you had the guts and the confidence to make to come up to them. 

There will always be people that don't value or appreciate what it takes for someone to make the first move, and how much confidence and courage it requires. Don't worry about those people, and just appreciate the ones that do have enough kindness and appreciation for the fact that you even tried. When someone approaches a person to date or even talk to, it's not only courageous on their part, but it shows their interest in you, so you should take it as flattery at the very least. 

When it comes to making the first move and having that courage to approach someone, it's never really about what you say, but more so, how do you say it, how much wit and confidence you display, as well as how open the person is to receiving the communication and attention. Frankly, some people have issues and simply can't accept the fact that they're given any attention to whatsoever, let alone if you're the complimentative type and approach them with kind words. Many people are insecure, and hold little to no self-confidence, and that's why they have a hard time accepting compliments from others. Just remember that that's not on you, and it's on that person for lacking the confidence. 

It's never about what you say in that first moment that you speak to someone, so there's no need to dread your opening statement or spend too much time thinking about it. Despite what many people think, there's little to no importance about that first statement that you say, as long as you actually speak up, say something, and go after what you want. Just remember to be authentic, genuine, and act like the real you, instead of some fake, dolled up version of you. Most people appreciate when people are authentic. 

Whether you're a man or a woman, making that first move and approaching someone for the first time can be challenging, and especially if you're the shy type or have an immense fear of rejection. Anyone that fears rejection too much won't be as successful in life or in love for that matter, as opposed to someone that's courageous, confidence, and goes after what they want. So the next time that you feel scared to speak up and make that first move, ask yourself how badly you want it, because the last thing that anyone should want in life is to miss out on a beautiful, new opportunity to find love and happiness. 

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Empowerment of Wanting Happiness for Your Ex

You should always want others to experience the happiness and joy of life. Even if we're talking about an ex spouse, and ex-girlfriend, or an ex-boyfriend. Although it isn't the easiest of things to do at times, it's something that you can truly benefit from. You should want the happiness of others even when they've hurt you, broken your heart, or found a new love that they're more compatible with.

Just because you and your ex didn't work out doesn't mean that you hold a grudge or wish them any bad will or feelings. To get to this stage of enlightenment is a big deal, because it will bring you more peace and happiness in life. When you're able to accept the fact that you and your ex are not together anymore, you're headed in the right direction. But the next step is to make peace with the fact that you've gone your separate ways, and be willing to give your light and love to them even from afar, knowing that they've moved on.

Wishing someone the best can be done in many ways without even having to say a word. Whether you're in communication with your ex, whether you're cordial or even if you've ended on bad terms, it's important to dive into the spiritual world and find a place deep within you where you can still wish them love, happiness, and an easy path in their life. When you get to this level of enlightenment, your journey in life and towards finding a new love of your own will be much greater. 

Remember, even if your ex doesn't wish you the best, you can still take the highroad and wish them well regardless, because it just shows what kind of person you are. Just make sure that it's genuine. For your own well being and whether you have children with your ex or not, you should strive towards getting to the stage of enlightenment where you can truly wish happiness onto others, despite your past with them, and regardless of the circumstances.

Friday, September 16, 2016

When You're in Competition with Your Partner

When you're in a relationship with someone, you should want each other to succeed in everything. Although it might seem obvious to most that you're on the same team, at times one or both people in a relationship feel competitive with one another. Whether they have a competitive nature and they're doing an activity together or whether their competitive in business or anything else for that matter, it's never good to compete with your partner, because after all, you're on the same side, the same team, and what's a partner if one of you is trying to beat the other. 

Wanting to succeed at things is something that we should all hope to want and feel the drive for. But winning, beating or achieving more than your significant other shouldn't be a conquest. As a Chess player, I find that when I play chess against someone that I'm dating, they can't always handle it, at least not when they're losing. If they can't handle losing to me (not that they always do), they tend to get cold, distant, break up, and it's almost as if I've taken their manhood or something. 

Some couples simply can't play competitive games or sports with one another, because they just can't take the heat or they it affects their ego. It's kind of ridiculous if you'd ask me. After all, it's a game. This isn't always the case by the way, but I've definitely seen the sore loser a few times, and even at a young age. Honestly, I was going to say that there's a time and a place for ego - But really - there isn't, so there's simply no good excuse to being a bad loser in a competitive game of chess or anything else with someone that you're dating (playing Chess is merely one example).

Being better at someone else at something isn't necessarily a bad thing, because we're all better or worse at this or that than others. You can't expect to be identical to someone or to do everything in the very same manner or level that your partner does. You should be happy for your partner if they're better at certain things than you, and they should be happy for you in the same manner. 

Being partners means supporting one another, and wanting each other to succeed at everything in life. Even if they succeed at things or achieve things easier or even better than you do. You should be your partner's biggest fan. Remember to support your loved one, and show them with your words, your actions, and by not being competitive with them. Being supportive of one another when in a relationship is one of the most beautiful ways of showing your partner how much you love and care for them. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Single Parents Dating: Replacing the Other Parent

When you have kids from a previous situation or marriage, those children are priority. Kids should definitely be treated as a priority, and they should always come first. Children can't fend for themselves, and they need to be taken care of. Any good parent would put their child above you when it comes to dating. 

If you're thinking about dating a single parent, you're going to have to accept the fact that their child or children are going to come first. Therefore, you not only open to dating someone that has kids, but you also need to understand that their children are going to be a priority to them, so their dating schedule might not be as flexible as you'd like it to be. 

When it comes to dating a single parent, you should be getting to know the person that you're dating, as well as be open to listening to how they talk about their child or children. The way that a single parent talks about their children says a lot about their character and their style of parenting. As well, it's important to know that someone's child is a part of them, a huge part of their life, and always will be. This is something that you need to be okay with if considering dating a single parent.

A single parent should never try to replace the other parent, despite if they think highly of them or not. I've never been a big fan of single parents that talk bad about their exes. For me personally, that's a huge red flag. Talking bad about others is a definite no-no, but talking bad about the other parent of your children is a red flag. There's a certain amount of respect that you should have for the other parent, whether or not you and that parent get along very well or not. 

After a few dates or whenever you feel ready to explore an exclusive relationship with a single parent, you might get a chance at meeting their children. I personally feel that it's best to be in an exclusive relationship before that introduction. It's better to already know that you're in a promising situation that has potential to go forward, before meeting someone's kids. And depending on when a single parent feels comfortable enough to introduce their kids to the person that they're dating, there's something that you should know - they're not looking to replace the other parent

If you explore a relationship with a single parent, it's important to know that not now, and not ever are you going to be viewed as a replacement to the other parent. The single parent shouldn't view you as a possible replacement to their ex, and you shouldn't view yourself as a possible replacement either.

You should never try to replace the other parent or even think that it's your job or what's expected, because it's not. It's important to know that dating or being with a single parent doesn't define you as a replacement. Just as well, it's important for the other parent to know that you have no intention of replacing them. Being a good step parent is all about being a good role model, and a good parental figure to the kids. As well, it's also about the children seeing the love between you and their parent. 

I don't know about other single parents, but for me, if my kids don't like someone or someone doesn't seem to get along well with my kids (Thank God that hasn't happened yet), I won't pursue the situation any further. It's kind of funny if you think about it - When we're young kids, our parents tell us whether or not they approve of who we date. But when we have children from a previous marriage or situation, I feel that it's important to get your kids approval of the person that you date. 

Monday, September 12, 2016

How to Be a Great Conversationalist

Being a great conversationalist and knowing how to communicate well go hand-in-hand. Part of being a great conversationalist involves being a great listener, and part of being a great listener involves many of the following things I'm going to share with you. Just keep in mind that self improvement is not something that can be acquired, unless a person is willing to put in the effort and love in improving themselves. As well, no one can improve their communication with others or anything else in life if they're living in denial.

First of all, no one wants to listen to someone that acts like a know-it-all. Nothing is appealing or sexy about someone who acts like they know everything. In case the reason isn't obvious to some, people like being around others that are willing to hear them out, hear their views, and listen to their opinions, even if might not agree with them. There's no way of even knowing whether or not you agree with someone if you don't give them a chance to speak or hear them out. As well, there's no way to hear anyone out if you're busy doing all the talking, and not letting them get a word in. 

One of the great advantages of listening to someone else talk is that you might actually learn from what they have to say. Think about it. You already know the information that's inside of your head, because you want to say it. Therefore, it'll benefit you much more to hear what others think, because not only might you learn something new, but there's always the possibility that you might agree with they have to say. 

Maybe they'll say something logical that will hit home with you and strike a chord in some way. Perhaps in your next conversation with someone else on the same subject matter, you might view things differently or even have even more information on the subject. Either way, it's always good to have an open mind and hear others out, because like I said before, part of being a good conversationalist is being good listener. 

Something else to consider when it comes to being a great conversationalist is that you should have a certain amount of knowledge in whatever you're disgusting or talking about. If you don't have a lot of knowledge in what you're discussing, then that's even more of a reason to listen more than you speak. 

Another thing that's important when it comes to being a great conversationalist is the way that you express yourself and communicate your thoughts and opinions to others. If you walk around with an attitude where you come across as pompous and arrogant to others, no one's going to even bother to give you the time of day, let alone listen to all of your mumbo-jumbo arrogance. It's not going to matter what type of crazy-intelligent thing that you might know or want to share with someone, because if you're not going to be kind, polite, respectful, as well as open to hearing other people's views, no one's going to want to bother listening. 

It's important to be fair when it comes to communicating with others. Being fair plays a big role in how well you communicate. Everyone should get a turn to talk, and everyone should have enough poise and respect for the other person to be able to listen to them. The way that you talk to others and respond to what they have to say shows what type of character you have, and will definitely play a big role in whether or not the person will ever want to talk, discuss, or debate with you again. This goes for everyone, whether you're the debating type of person and you're talking politics or whether you're someone who prefers to avoid political discussions and heavy topics. 

The way that you communicate to others should be done in a kind way where you're not closed minded to the point where you act stubborn, egotistical, and arrogant. Arrogance is ugly and no one wants to feel controlled or unable to share their thoughts in a conversation. Being fair is imperative when it comes to being a great conversationalist. 

When it comes to relationships, having good communication is everything in regards to having peace in the home (shalom bayit). We all need to feel inner peace for ourselves and our own well-being. But, part of that inner peace and happiness starts in the home, and in the environment in which we reside. 

The way that we handle arguments and confrontation with our partner and loved ones when they're upset can make a big difference on how much peace we have in our home. This is why great communication plays a big role in how much peace we have in our homes. The better that we're able to communicate our feelings to others, the more happiness that we'll feel from within, and frankly, the healthier and better off our romantic, work, and social lives will be. 

It's always good to strive to be a good conversationalist and to work on better improving our communication with others. Being a great conversationalist and being able to communicate well plays a big role in our lives in every way. It's important not to get arrogant or feel that we know it all, because if you really think about it, no one really knows it all, and we should all be open to learning new things.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Be Selfish Once in a While

It's important to take time for yourself once in awhile and do what makes you happy. Many times people work so hard in their daily lives, are always busy doing favours and things for others, and are always there for people when they need things. But the problem with that is that they always put themselves last. Unfortunately, in the process of being there for others, many times people don't give themselves a break or time to enjoy life and their own personal hobbies and interests, or even pat themselves on the back once in awhile. 

It's important to give yourself a break once in awhile, as well as embrace and enjoy the things that are important to you. You are important too. We should all have certain hobbies or special interests that we find enjoyable, and if we don't know what interests us and we don't have any hobbies that we can think of, then we should try things out, explore something new, and take it from there. 

It's always good to have your own personal interests, because that helps when it comes to having relationships with others whether socially, with family, or on a romantic level. It's important to always have your own life, and to be a whole and complete person before getting into any romantic relationship. This also goes for any type of relationships with your family or socially, because people always have their own things going on. Therefore, if you get a free moment or you have nothing to do one day, it's good to have your own set of hobbies so that you can keep yourself busy and stay active. 

You should never have to be in the presence of someone else in order to have a good time. Some people find this out about themselves early on, and they even enjoy their own time to the point where they would prefer to go to a movie by themselves once in awhile or to do anything else that might appeal to them. It's important to be able to enjoy time by yourself, because you have to like yourself as a person, and feel good from within before you're able to feel good around others whether in a social, family, or romantic setting. 

If you're a parent, then it's important to give yourself a break once in awhile, and definitely pat yourself on the back for all that you do day in and day out. For some people, being a parent is easy, but for others, it can be more stressful. A lot of that stress depends on the child's personality, as well as the parenting style that you're raising your kids in. Either way, it's important to give yourself a break once in awhile whenever possible, or at least when your kids are taking a nap or when they're busy or being watched by someone else. 

Having even a small amount of alone time is imperative in life, and we should all do things that make us happy during those alone moments. Remember, having a predominantly healthy lifestyle involves eating a healthy diet, or at least a diet where you're eating habits let you indulge once in awhile. But also, it's important to get a good amount of REM sleep, because sleep is imperative when it comes to how you feel throughout your day. 

Getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet can play a big role on how you feel emotionally, and it can also play a big role on how you're able to handle stress. It's much easier to handle stressful situations when you're taking good care of yourself from within. As long as you're taking good care of yourself on the inside, eating right, and getting enough sleep, then it's important to do things for yourself so that you feel good inside and happy. That even includes indulging in things once in awhile. 

Find out what hobbies appeal to you more, and find a way to arrange your schedule so that you can explore those things and embrace life, because everyone deserves to do things in life that make them happy. Even those of us that tend to get extremely busy throughout our week, or even more so for those types. Whether you're married, a parent, a single parent, a bachelor, a teenager, or even a senior, it's important to do things for yourself once in awhile. Give yourself a break and be selfish, because you deserve to enjoy your life.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Be Willing to Work for What You Want

We all want to have that perfect body. But another thing that we all want is to be healthy, and to feel good inside, and out. Feeling good involves having a good self-esteem, feeling confident, motivated, and not only feeling capable of being an inspiration to others, but to ourselves as well. It's much easier for people to preach and to be inspirational towards others, even when they don't take their own advice. 

Perhaps we might even sound hypocritical at times. However, we're in control of whether we listen to and embrace our own words of wisdom and advice or not. We are in fact inspirations to ourselves more than others. But what's needed is to become truly connected with our words of wisdom and the advice that we give to others, until we feel it in deep within us, knowing that they're not empty inspirational words. The fact of the matter is, sometimes we are hypocrites, because we give advice to others, but our own words and actions don't match up, but that can all change. We need to connect with ourselves from within on such a deep level that we're able to inspire ourselves.

When it comes to health, nutrition, and fitness, it's important never to let our emotions take over, and let our moods run the show so to speak.  Our emotions or mood shouldn't be the factor that directs whether or not we work out or eat a certain way. Being that the goal in life is happiness, we need to maintain a certain level of happiness, and to feel at peace from within. 

Being that our moods change all of the time, from moment to moment throughout our daily lives, taking us from happy to sad to angry to high energy to low energy, and so on, it's important to stay focused on our main goal which is to be healthy, stably content to some extent, and if we're making a conscious decision to eat healthier or to develop a regular workout routine and be stable about it, we shouldn't lose track. But instead, stay focused on the right path towards our goal.

We're going to have good days and bad days, and our moods are definitely going to change from moment to moment, and that includes being affected by things that go on every day. But when we have a goal to improve ourselves in any way, whether it's from within in regards to our emotions or whether it's in regards to our work, business, or health and fitness, we shouldn't let others or even ourselves feel deflated or unmotivated, because of a temporary bad mood or issue we might be having. We should strive towards our goals of improving regardless of our mood or our energy level.

There are always things that we can do to improve our energy levels and our moods, so giving up, or not being driven and motivated towards our goals because of our mood should never be an issue. Successful people never succeed by taking days off, because they're not in a good mood or from the lack of sleep. They simply sleep enough, make sure that they get an adequate amount of REM rest, and they take good care of themselves so that being lazy or taking a day off doesn't come up as an option to them.

Successful people stay motivated and driven towards their goals no matter what. Even if we strive towards being more motivated a little bit, it can only bring more positivity and enlightenment so that we're able to achieve more in life, and have a better chance at improving ourselves, and striving towards our goals. 

If you have certain goals that you're hoping to achieve, don't put things off for later, because later doesn't always come, and sometimes it turns into a pattern of laziness, and perhaps even a bad habit of postponing things. People might even become flaky, canceling plans for lack of motivation or energy. Taking a short break is normal and can even be beneficial, especially for those that tend to be workaholics. But, a short break or even a little vacation isn't the same thing as postponing goals. Remember those famous hashtags of #workhard and #playhard because they need to resonate to someone that wants to be successful. Remember there should be balance in life, but if we want things to be a certain way and we're not willing to settle for less, then we need to work hard for it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The Importance of 'Being Ready' to Date

When it comes to dating, what feels right for you, and what might seem like a great match, might not actually be someone that's good for you. A lot of people "could be" a great match for you. But as we should all know, a great catch doesn't always make the right match. For each and every one of us, there is that one special someone and they're likely out there hoping to meet us as well. It's imperative not to lose hope or faith until that moment comes when we actually stand face to face with our true love. 

We need to hold and grasp enough inner strength within us so that we're able to stay optimistic in our search. As well, it's important to keep a genuinely positive outlook, and an open heart so that we'll recognize our love when we actually meet. The last thing that anyone would want is to come across to the person that we're supposed to be with as someone that's skeptical, pessimistic, closed minded, emotionally wounded, or scared to fall in love. This is a big reason added to the most logically and obvious other reasons why having an open heart is important. 

When dating someone new, it's important not to bring in baggage of unhealed wounds and heartache from previous relationships. If you haven't made peace with your past and let go of any and all residual feelings of heartache that you've experienced, you're not only not ready to date, be in a relationship, or start something new, but you're definitely not going to be emotionally capable of falling in love. 

If you don't have an open heart, you won't be able to fall in love and embrace the magic of what true love really is. Sure, if you're the type that has hopes or superficial desires of embracing empty love, by all means, go ahead and strive for that. But for all others in with hopes of finding a genuine, deep, long lasting, meaningful, and fulfilling connection with someone, you need to be ready.

To get the opportunity of what genuine, authentic, real, agape love is and can be, both people in a relationship need to be fully ready. By ready, this means that they both must be emotionally ready, have no residual feelings for anyone else, as well as be emotionally available, have an open heart, and be ready to fall. 

You can't rush feeling better in any way, whether you're physically, mentally, or emotionally sick. Being emotionally unavailable is basically like walking around with unhealed, open wounds. You need to take care of yourself, and be whole and complete before even putting yourself out on the market to date. No one should date someone when their heart isn't open to falling for them. That's just setting yourself and the other person up for what possibly could be a big disappointment. 

You should never put yourself in a position where someone can develop feelings for you (even on a first date), if your heart isn't open to falling for them as well. That wouldn't be right or fair by any means. So have a heart, take care of your heart, and prevent anyone else's heart from feeling pain or distress by waiting to date until you're fully ready. 

Monday, August 8, 2016

Going After What You Want

In life, we always hope and pray that everything will turn out just perfectly, and as we'd like. Unfortunately, things don't always happen exactly how we'd hoped or expected them to. As we strive towards our goals and go after what we want in life, despite what we do, even if we organize and create a game plan of some sort, sometimes things don't happen exactly the way we want. 

As many of us know in life, opportunities happen for each and every one of us, and all of the time. However, if we don't act on those opportunities quick enough when we're given the chance (click here), sometimes we miss out, and at times, we miss out really big. We can't always get everything that we want in life. Especially, when we're not willing to go after what we want. However, we can definitely try to get what we want, and in doing so, we'll have a greater chance at achieving what we'd like. 

As far as getting exactly what we want, exactly when we want it, and precisely being able to control every minor detail of how we get what we want doesn't always happen the way we might hope or plan. But, when you think about it, that's okay. The reason that it's okay is because things don't happen exactly the way that we want them to happen all of the time. But that doesn't mean that even better things won't happen to us. Sometimes things that are even better happen in our lives when we put so much love, effort, and hard work into going after what we want. 

We get rewarded in life in many different ways. But rewards come to those that go after their goals and work hard towards achieving them, and maintaining them. If you don't go after what you want in life, then you're not striving towards your goals. You're not even striving toward your dreams. Just as I've written before, you need to view your dreams as goals, and work hard towards achieving them. You need to be determined, create a game plan, stay focused, and balanced as you head in the right direction towards achieving your goals. You need to be driven, motivated, and willing to put in the hard work and effort that it takes to get whatever you want in life. 

Just because things don't happen exactly as you might hope, and just because sometimes we need to pay the dues while we built our dreams and create better lives, it doesn't mean that we won't achieve what we want in life, because we will. But it might not be exact to the T. It might not be precisely how we envisioned things to be. It could be pretty close though. If anything, usually when we're willing to put a lot of hard work, love, and effort towards reaching our goals, things might not only happen as we'd hope, but they might even happen even better than we'd hoped. 

It's important to stay focused in life. As we maintain our drive and focus, we need to remember that despite the hardships that may come at times while we're building our dreams and going after what we want in life, sometimes we might feel as a failure or perhaps as if things didn't go as we'd planned or prefered them to. But that doesn't mean that we're a failure by any means. On the contrary, the outcome and the result of all of our hard work in life will eventually pay off and show great rewards all in time. Maybe not in the time that you'd hoped. But, in time, great results for your achievements will be obvious and apparent to you in the future. 

If you want to create a certain type of lifestyle for yourself, don't let small or even large stumbling blocks in the road keep you from achieving what you want. Don't let people around you distract you or take you away from your path to success. But most of all, don't be afraid to fall, mess up, or at worst, fail while striving towards success. We all fail at different times. But it's important to remember that what you might be viewing as failing isn't truly failing. You can't fail at something that you don't give up on. You'll get there, and you'll get what you want in life. Just don't give up, and never stop striving towards your goals, and a better life.