Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Staying Focused and on Track - Even When People Try to Weigh You Down



In case you haven't heard of inspiration killers, let me explain who they are. They are people who take you out of your work mode, and tend to kill inspiration. They're the selfish types who consume your time, energy, and completely soak up your positive energy and light. The simple solution: Don't let them! Separate yourselves from those who don't understand that you have a life outside of them and their wants and needs. You don't owe anyone your time or energy, and especially when they're being selfish and unsupportive of you striving towards your goals.

There will always be people that will try to weigh you down or take you out of your work mode. This is why it's imperative to stay focused and on track as much as you possibly can. We all have the power to take control of our lives, and to create space from those who try to hold us back in any way. You should only surround yourself with people that will be understanding, loving, and truly want you to succeed in life. Anyone who doesn't understand that you have priorities in life, isn't respecting you the way that they should. Like I said, surround yourself with people who will understand that you have different priorities that at times might come first. 

It's important to have goals in life, and to work hard and be determined towards attaining them. When we make the time for all of our priorities, then nothing gets left behind. But when we don't make things priorities, when we put them aside, or postpone them for later, nothing will ever get done. Everything that's important to you in life should be treated as a priority. This is also relevant when it comes to relationships, because you should put aside designated time for family, friends, and your love life if that's something that you hope to attain. 

You should be dedicated to everything that's important to you, and you should treat all of those things and people as priorities. But when someone isn't understanding of the fact that you are merely one person, and can only focus on one thing at a time, they're taking you down a negative path, but you have the power not to let them. To those types of people that you might have in your life, communicate your feelings to them and let them know how much you care, but also that you need to have certain boundaries, and they should be understanding of them. 

Don't ever let others make you feel bad for having other priorities or being too busy at different times. No one should make you feel bad when you're too busy or don't have the time for them. But if you care about people enough, and you want them in your life, then you should treat them as a priority and make the time for them when you're free. In other words, do what you have to do, and take care of your priorities, but also make the time for your other priorities as well. 

Truly successful people wake up early, are determined, focused, and go after what they want. And they don't let others hold them back in any way. So if you want to be truly successful in your life, remember to stay focused and go after what you want, but also make sure that you're treating everything of value to you as a priority. Having enough balance in your life can be truly helpful as well. You see, part of having a balanced life is making the time for all of your priorities, so that everything gets done. But just remember, one of the best ways of being able to maintain focus towards things that you view as important in your life, is by surrounding yourself with people that will be supportive and understanding of what you're doing and what you're trying to accomplish.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The Fuel to Fight Even Harder


There will be people in life that don't believe in you, that don't think you have a chance at succeeding, or that don't even want you to succeed for that matter. Those types of people are negative and toxic and you shouldn't keep them around in your life. You shouldn't be friends with people that are negative and unsupportive. But those are also the very same types of people that will bring you down, distract you, make you feel inadequate, and as if you're not good enough. 

No one needs those types of people around when they're working hard towards getting what they want in life. That's why we should ignore them, and cut out their noise. Get your head straight and start living your life in a way that what others say doesn't even phase you, let alone kill your enthusiasm. Don't give people so much control over your emotions, and never to the point where it negatively affects you.

Not everyone in life is going to want you to succeed. Some people feel so inadequate with their own lives, that they want to take you down with them. That's why they say that "misery loves company." We all have the power to surround ourselves with positive people that are enlightened and kind hearted. There's no room in anyone's world to have family, friends, or even acquaintances that are negative. And we should be strong enough not to listen to the negative opinions of others. You should distance yourself with negative and toxic people as much as you possibly can. 

We all need to be resilient and strong enough to the point where what others say doesn't affect us. At least not in a negative way. When people are truly motivated, driven, and resilient, they'll not only be O.K. with listening to negative feedback or criticism, but they'll use it as fuel, and work even harder towards getting what they want in life. But then again, there are many people that are weak and unable to connect with their resilient side, and those are the types that end up feeling down, depressed, and deflated, and they might even stop going after their goals because of it. 

It's important not to let others bring you down. But we can't control the actions of others, only our own. Having said that, more importantly than not letting others bring us down, we should feel enough inner strength, resilience, and drive towards getting what we want that nothing anyone says can harm us. We should naturally feel the desire to go after what we want even more when we're criticized. And when people don't believe in us, it's almost as if that should be enough fuel to work even harder towards our goals, even if it's simply just to prove them wrong. 

It doesn't really matter what you use as fuel, as long as it motivates you and gets you to where you want to be. But the type of fuel that you get when someone doesn't believe in you, is the type that many people in this world have become truly successful from. Nothing feels better than becoming successful, getting to the top, and being exactly where you've wanted to be all your life. But getting there takes hard work, determination, and the will to succeed. 

You can't give up when things get hard, when you're faced with challenges, when there are bumps in the road, or even when people don't believe in you. If you want anything bad enough in life, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it, and then be willing to work hard towards maintaining it. The truth is, who cares what people think. If you want anything bad enough, you need to overcome the noise and negativity that others might give you, and keep go after what you want.

Monday, December 12, 2016

When Couples Forget What Matters the Most


Sometimes they make little things a big deal. We do so, because in particular moments we might feel that some things really are a big deal. But in that very moment, a lot of times we forget what's really important, and we lose focus, forgetting have sacred and beautiful we want our relationship to be. We forget that happiness and feeling in love is the most important thing to us at times, and this is why I wrote this article. 

We should always appreciate the things that we have in life and focus on that much more so, than we think of all of the things that we lack or on those things that we haven't yet attained. When we focus on the positive, and concentrate on all of the beautiful and good things in our lives, and on the things that we have, Will be happier in our current state, and in each moment. If we're busy focusing on the future too much, and to the point where it takes away from the now, and in this very moment that we're living and breathing, we'll never be happy. 

It's always a good idea to nip things in the bud, and to address issues early on, rather than save them and address them all at once, because that will likely end up being like an explosion. Imploding your feelings and concerns is never the way to go. It's always best to address issues one by one and as things happen. That way nothing becomes a bigger deal than it needs to be. As well, it's also important to try not to make big issues out of on important matters. And in order to do that, we have to know and understand what truly matters to us most. It's never a good thing when someone complains all of the time or never seems happy with anything, because that will end up not only taking away your happiness as a couple, but it will likely drain you and your partner's energy. 

It's important to pick and choose your battles. Not everything needs to be a battle, and both people in a relationship need to realize that. It's never about winning or losing, and therefore, it's unimportant who wins an argument or was right at the end of the day. What's important is that you address issues early on, and that not everything becomes an issue because the truth is, nothing is really that big of a deal in the end. 

The most important thing in a relationship is to feel happy, and for your partner to feel happy, and for your relationship to thrive in that state of happiness not just for the moment, but for a lifetime. And the only way to get to that point, is by not making everything a big deal, by being easy-going, and by addressing issues early on instead of sweeping things under the rug. Don't be afraid to hash things out and to work on your issues, because that's how relationships improve. Good things take hard work, and if you want great results and then ultimately successful relationship for the long term, then you have to be willing to put in the hard work, effort, and love that it takes to make it work. 

Sunday, December 4, 2016

When Your Partner Doesn't Feel Your Love


No one should ever be made to feel that they're hard to love. If you're in a relationship where the person tells you that not only are you hard to love, but as if the way that they're loving you never seems to get through to you, or doesn't seem adequate enough, just know that there are other reasons for why that's happening, and it's not necessarily your fault or even true. You're not hard to love. The right person is going to love and adore you just the way that you are, and they'll never, and I mean never view you as difficult to love. 

We all want to feel loved in the way that works for us as individuals, and where we'll feel loved the most. Does that make sense to you? You see, each of us feels and embraces love in a different manner. This is why it's so imperative to be direct, and have great communication with the person that you're with, and to let them know what makes you feel loved the most. 

You can't expect that someone is going to automatically know how you want to be loved, unless you're going to be willing to tell them. Having great communication is everything if you want to have a healthy relationship. And when it comes to loving a person the way that they want to be loved, the only way to know how, is to ask the person directly. Oh, and they should ask you as well. You might feel loved an entirely different way.

Relationships are all about learning what the other person likes, dislikes, and what works for them and makes them feel loved. You have to be willing to treat each and every new relationship as if there were a blank, clean slate, and not bring your own ideas, thoughts, and assumptions are from what you've experienced previously into this new relationship. No one wants to be loved exactly like your ex might have. You can't expect that the person that you're with will want to be treated in the same manner or even loved in the same way that your ex might have. 

We are all unique and beautiful individuals, and should be treated as such. Therefore, if you're in a relationship and the person feels that you're hard to love, then one of two things is likely occurring. Either they're not loving you in a way that works for you and makes you feel loved, or they're not the right match for you. Either way, don't get down or upset about it. Just try to communicate your feelings to your partner and see if you can resolve these issues, and whether or not they're open to loving you in a way in which you'll feel their love more.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Spread Love, Kindness, and Stop the Hate



You give what you get in life. This is something that we all need to realize. If you want love, then you need to give love. If you want to get a certain type of treatment from others, then you need to be able to give that type of treatment back. But if you're going to be a hypocrite, do nothing, be selfish, and only think of your own feelings, then not much good is going to come from it. 

We all have a choice to think before we act, and to be selfless and giving towards others. It's all in our own hands. We all have a choice to make wise decisions, and to choose good over evil. One way love doesn't exist, and it's time that we all start realizing that it takes two to make a difference in this world. 

You can't change other people, so if someone isn't giving you kind or loving treatment when you've been kind to them, then you need to recognize that situation for what it is, and accept that person for how they are, and exclude them from your life. You shouldn't waste your time with hateful, negative, or toxic people. And you should never wait for others to be giving, selfless, or loving to you, before you act kind and loving yourself. 

Concentrate on your own actions, and be first when it comes to displaying your love and kindness. Set an example, and take the lead. Don't wait for others to make the first move, because many times people are afraid and live their life based on the fear of not being accepted or loved. Spread love, kindness, and do things without having an ulterior motive. Do sweet gestures and kind acts just because. Don't do things that are kind, simply because you want kind things done for you in return. Have pure intentions and loving motives when it comes to being selfless and giving. 

Make a stand, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. Each one of us can make a big difference in this world for the better if we all focus more of our attention on how we act and think, rather than waiting for someone else to make a change. If each one of us spreads love and kindness, instead of hate, then this world will become how it should be, a beautiful place to live in and embrace. Let's all do our part.

Why Rejection Isn't the the Worst Thing


We all want to feel loved by someone. And not just anyone. We all want that one special love that's going to love us the way that we want to be loved. Not everyone is capable or is going to be willing to love us the way that we need or desire. That's why it's important never to settle for the wrong person or someone that's just a temporary type of love. We all deserve to have a unique love, and of love that's only meant for us. 

Not everyone is meant to be yours, and only for you. And just because you might have developed feelings for someone, they might not return those feelings, and it might hurt. It usually does to some degree, and especially, when you've developed feelings for them. That's why it's important to always try to be on the same page as someone that you're dating or interested in. The best method for doing that is by taking things slowly, and instead of reading into situations, assuming what someone might be feeling or thinking, you maintain a direct and honest approach. 

We have to be able to accept rejection in life, and that goes for in love as well. When someone rejects you or isn't interested in you, it's important to be able to take it with a grain of rice so to speak. You should only want to be loved and adored by a person that's willing to love and adore you back. 

Don't let yourself get caught up with intense and passionate feelings for someone, when you don't know whether or not they even like you, let alone love you and feel the same way. Always try to be on the same page as the person that you're dating, so that your love will be balanced. Go at a healthy pace where you can both equally develop feelings for one another, and where you'll know that you're on the same page. 

Having said all of the above, you should know that rejection happens, and despite the fact that it's sometimes or perhaps usually a hard pill to swallow, we need to not only accept that at times someone might not love us back, but we need to be more than O.K. with it. When someone doesn't want us in the same manner in which we want them, we need to be strong, resilient, and know that the right person will eventually come into our lives, and it will be for keeps. 

More than anything, when someone rejects us, we tend to close our hearts, and build emotional walls and barriers whether on a conscious or unconscious level. And that's one of the worst things that we can do to ourselves. You see, it's imperative to have an open heart. And even when we get hurt or let down by someone, because that's the very moment in which we should find resilience and become even stronger. 

Closing the door to your beautiful open heart, and not letting anyone in, makes it so that they don't see who the real you is. And the real you is a beautiful person. It's the person that the right person is going to fall in love with. But not when you close up your heart. You have to be approachable, and willing to embrace love. And part of embracing love is being willing to risk getting hurt, putting your heart on the line, and risking for it to get hurt or even shattered. But never, and I mean never close up your heart or build those emotional walls, because it will end up with you not being open to the love of your life when it actually does appear. 

Monday, November 28, 2016

Being Present, and Living in the Moment


One of the biggest issues that people have in relationships is that they're not present, in the moment, or truly embracing what's going on what's being said while it's happening. Instead, many times couples block out their partner, the voice, and what's being said, and they do so for many different reasons. Sometimes, people tune out their partner, feeling as if they understood them already and even before they finished talking. Sometimes, they do so because they talk a lot, or maybe it's because they have other things on their mind. As well, many times people are trying to think of what they're going to say in response to the other person, while the other person is still talking. 

It's important to be fair in relationships and to give your partner your full attention as much as possible. Many times people do things like talk on the phone, text, go on the Internet, or multitask by walking around and staying busy while their partner is talking. And they might even tell their partner that they're listening to them talk, despite the fact that they keep moving around or doing something else at the same time. This is a truly bad approach in relationships, because you're taking away a certain type of love that you should be giving to your partner. And with all honesty, I can tell you that this approach isn't the way to go, and it needs to change. 

Whatever you're doing in life, you should do it fully and with your entire being, your whole heart, and never halfway. You should be giving all of your love and attention to what you're doing in the moment. Whether you're talking to someone, or listening, giving your full attention is a must. Take this advice and put it into action, and do so, whether it's in regards to your relationships, your business, or anything else that's important to you. Things that are of importance to you must have your full and undivided attention if you want the best results. 

You need to make everything that's important to you in life a priority. You need to live in the moment, be present, and care about what you're doing when you're doing it, and to the fullest extent possible. No one should have to deal with a partner that says they're listening to them, while their multitasking doing a million other little things. If you truly love and care about someone or something enough, you'll make the time and give them your full attention when needed. No one enjoys feeling as if their partner is tuning them out, ignoring them, or not really listening or interested in what they have to say. People feel loved when they feel heard and when you make the time to listen.

Don't get me wrong though, because some people act very needy and overly consuming and that will end up draining both people eventually, where no one gets anything done, and the relationship definitely won't thrive, let alone be happy. Therefore, it's important to know the difference, to be fair, and as long as no one is trying to dominate, control, or smother the other person by being overly needy, then you should try to be considerate of one another and give each other your full attention. And remember, we should all be living in the moment, and being present so that not only our partner feels heard, but so that our partner feels truly loved and adored. 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

The Power of Appreciation on Thanksgiving



One of the best ways of finding happiness in life is to appreciate the things that we have, as opposed to the things that we lack. If we spend our time thinking about all of those little things that we want in life, but either don't have them or perhaps they're certain goals that we haven't yet achieved, we're basically not living in the moment, or enjoying life to the fullest. 

The amount of happiness that we have each and every day is all based on our perception and how we feel about things, and whether or not we appreciate them. If we start focusing on all of the positive things that we have in life, then we'll all be a little bit happier. One of the biggest problems that we all have in which takes away so much of our happiness is that we're always worrying. We have endless concerns about things, which many times, we don't even have control over. 

It's important not to rush things in life or to want things before you're ready to have them. Some of the best things in life take time to develop, patience, and simply having a positive outlook. Try to embrace all of the good things in your life, and enjoy the moment, each day, and all of the little things that go on in your life. The more thankful and appreciative that we are about the little things that we have in life, the more that we'll be whole and a complete person. As well, if we appreciate what we have, we'll be more apt to take on different challenges, and we'll have so so more enthusiasm towards striving towards our goals.

Having a positive outlook is imperative for each and every one of us, and that's why we need to focus on the positives in life, and not avoid the negatives, or ignore them by any means, but more so, we should simply be appreciative of all of the good things in our life and acknowledge them. When we don't appreciate things enough, we tend to lose them or they tend to not be maintained in their best manner. This goes from everything from relationships to your personal belongings, or even in regards to how you look in your appearance. 

If we take care of ourselves and love ourselves enough, it's a way of appreciating how we are, and how we look. You see, when we appreciate how we look, we tend to take better care of ourselves. Be thankful for all of the things that you have in life, and remember on this Thanksgiving Day, as well as any other day of the year, you should be thankful for what you have and concentrate on those things, as opposed to what you lack. Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

6 Important Things to Remember If You're Dating Someone Who Is Emotionally Unavailable


Being able to connect with your partner is essential in a healthy relationship. Relationships that are one-sided in any way, won't work. If you're unable to let go of your past or if you have wounds from a previous heartache, deal with it on your own, and don't think of yourself as "single and ready to mingle," because let me tell you, you're not ready, you're just single.

1. Stop Dating Them

If you're willing to date someone that you know is emotionally unavailable or commitmentphobic, you likely either have a low self-esteem, you're drawn to the person because you, yourself have issues with commitment, you have a self-destructive personality, or perhaps the reason is because you like "the challenge" and want to be with the person because you enjoy "the chase." Never date someone that's emotionally unavailable and disconnected. Doing so will leave you feeling unhappy, miserable, confused, lonely, and you'll likely end up being the one that gets hurt in the end.

2. Don't Try to Fix Them 

You're not a saviour. Relationships shouldn't have to involve you having to fix anyone. Someone that's emotionally unavailable isn't broken, they're just unable to connect on an emotional level. They not only need to be self-aware enough to realize that they have a problem, but they need to  be willing to change. You cannot and should not even try to change them - it's not your job. And unless they're willing to work on themselves and bring down their emotional barriers, they'll never be able to fall in love - not with you, and not with anyone, even themselves.

3. Don't Change Yourself

You are not the problem. Just keep telling yourself that, and remember never to blame yourself for why the other person is acting the way that they do. Don't change how you act, how you look, or what you feel is right versus wrong. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and respect yourself enough to walk away from a toxic and dead-end situation. But definitely, don't change in order to please someone that's emotionally unavailable and disconnected. Just be you, stay you, and continue about your journey in the best way that you know how. Changing yourself will only take away from your true inner beauty, and besides, an emotionally unavailable person will never be satisfied with any changes that you make. And if anything, an emotionally unavailable person is the one that needs to do the changing. 

4. Don't Walk on Eggshells

Don't change who you are at your core. You should never have to feel fear in a healthy relationship. There's never a good reason for you or anyone to have to walk on eggshells or to be afraid of acting as themselves or of doing and saying certain things. Don't let someone that's emotionally unavailable direct your relationship or run the show, because until they fix themselves, they won't be able to even direct their own life, let alone, your relationship, or "the whole show." No one deserves to live in fear, and it's very common for emotionally unavailable people to project their hardened and emotionally disconnected hearts onto their partner, their date, or just others in general. Just remember, loving, happy, and healthy relationships take a certain amount of connecting, and feeling a sense of emotional closeness is essential if you want your relationship to thrive.

5. Don't Make Excuses for Them

Don't make excuses for their bad behaviour. People only deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt when they don't have a track record. Someone that's emotionally unavailable is sitting on a large and fat track record. Someone who's emotionally unavailable shouldn't even be in a relationship, let alone to deserve such a sweet partner that would make excuses for them, believe in them, feel hope, and stick around as their ship sinks. Don't stick around! And stop making excuses for them... If they flake on you, if they're busy, or if they have so many other things going on, it's still not an excuse to accept being treated poorly. Don't accept some lousy and flimsy type of excuse as to why they're not being close with you.

6. Don't Let Them Blame You

You're not a doormat. You're not a backseat. Remember this... you ride shotgun in your relationship. I don't care whether you're riding shotgun or you're the driver, but you should never settle for anyone that makes you feel as if you get the "privilege" of sitting in the backseat, and that your feelings don't matter. Hey! You're a priority and should be treated like one. Love and respect yourself enough not to let someone treat you as an option. Someone that's emotionally unavailable will tend to take advantage of the person that their dating, and many times, without even realize it. They tend to be selfish, and to only think of themselves and their own feelings.  

Monday, October 24, 2016

Why You Should Be Authentic and Show Your Emotional Side


When it comes to dating or exploring a new relationship, one of the best things that I'd suggest is to be authentic and act like yourself. Many times people put on a front or show some version of themselves that isn't the real them. There should only be one version of yourself. That's the version that you should be and act like on your date. 

Something that I've always said, and I'm sure many of you can relate to, is the fact that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. Another thing that I've always said is that, I'm not afraid to lose someone that I don't have. Having said this, I want you all to take a moment to think about the person that you're dating and getting to know, and ask yourself, "Are you acting like you're authentic self and being the real you?" 

If someone doesn't like you for you, then you're wasting your time. You should be with someone that likes who you are without you having to put on an act or try to impress them. Relationships where people don't act like themselves don't have a very good chance at working out. Don't worry about the fact that the other person "might not like you" if you act like yourself, because that just means that they're not right for you, and you should want to be with your best possible match, not just a good match or a great catch. 

If you're afraid to act like yourself because you know how you are, and you think that you're a very emotional personyou need to stop right there. Being your authentic self is everything when it comes to starting something new. You need to like yourself and embrace that you're an emotional person. My personal preference would always rather be with someone that's emotional and passionateas long as they don't have a bad temper. 

When someone isn't afraid to show their emotions and wears their heart on their sleeve, it's one of the most beautiful things. I mean, my goodness, my children look at me and embrace who I am, and how emotional I get even when I'm watching a silly cartoon commercial. Being emotional is a beautiful thing, and you should never be afraid to show that side of you, because the right person will love that part of you, and never want to change it. Remember, it's those little idiosyncrasies and personality traits that are exclusively yours, and that make you who you are. And those are the very same characteristics that the right match for you is going to love, adore, and embrace. 

Monday, October 17, 2016

The Straight Arrow Path to Success


We would all like to get to the top and successful. But it takes hard work, effort, and that "go get it" factor. We need drive to succeed, and that fire to burn our buns, in order to get what we want in life. Sitting back, and waiting for things to happen will get you nowhere. If anyone wants anything bad enough, they need to go after it. I decided to create a list of a few essential factors that will make all of the difference on your path to success. But one thing that's imperative to remember, is that to feel truly proud of our accomplishments in life, we must do things the right way morally, and by being a righteous person.

Don't Take Shortcuts:

Do things the right way and in a righteous manner. Don't search for the easy way to get to where you want to be, just because it looks quicker, less stressful, and easier when you know that the path you're thinking I have isn't righteous or morally a good choice. Remember, short term light, usually leads to long-term darkness, so make your decisions carefully, and stay righteous and decent at the same time. 

Value Your Time:

Our time is precious, and we should make things that are important to us priorities, and treat them as such. Postponing things, putting them off, and leaving them for later is never a wise choice if you want to be successful. Pick and choose your break time wisely and what you do with it, because a break shouldn't last for more than a few moments. A break is something that should be experienced once you've accomplished a certain amount of work towards your end goal. 

Choose Supportive Friends or No Friends:

I just surround yourself with no one, or those that have your best interest at heart. Pick and choose your friends wisely, and only bring in those that love, appreciate, support, and value you as a person. Make sure that you avoid bringing in negativity, and any type of toxic person. Toxic people can become a mental, emotional, and psychological disability if you let them. Besides, they'll drain your positive energy until there's nothing left. 

Don't Be a Perfectionist:

If you strive for perfection, don't see it as the main or ending goal. Instead, strive to make things as perfect as possible, but know in the back of your head that there is no such finish line. Many times perfectionist end up being too hard on themselves, and are even unable to accept compliments and what they're achieving, as they strive towards their goals. It's important to genuinely accept compliments and take them to heart. Be happy, proud, yet remaining humble on your journey toward success. Don't expect perfection, just drive to be the best that you can be, and in all that you do. 

Be Healthy and Stay Active:

Don't say that you don't have time for taking good care of yourself, because you do. Everyone needs to make the time for their priorities, and taking care of themselves. Being healthy, and staying active are definite priorities when it comes to being the best that you can be, and in order to put your best foot forward. In order to work hard and to do your best, you need to be in a healthy state of mind, as well as in an emotionally peaceful place. 

Friday, October 14, 2016

Dating Someone Who Isn't Formally Educated


Most people have different requirements that they hope to find in a partner. For some people a big requirement is having a formal education or even degrees of different sorts. For many, not only having a formal education is a must-have, but also having a steady and stable job is imperative. It's important you know what you want in a partner. Having said that, you can't expect to find perfection in anyone or to find every little thing that you hope for in another person. 

There is no complete package, despite how many people praise their partners in relationships. When a person says that their partner is a complete package or even when any random person seems to be, it's usually because they seem that way, and not that they actually are that way. No one is perfect, and again, there is no complete package of perfection. 

When a person has many of the qualities that you're looking for in a match, you may define that as a complete package for you, but the reality is that nothing is perfect, and neither is anyone. When it comes to wanting to be with someone that's highly educated, then you should go after people that are in fact, highly educated, and not waste your time or other people's time, dating around when that requirement isn't there. Nothing's worse than when someone wastes time with a person that isn't educated, knowing that it's a requirement for them to have in a partner. 

For many people though, it's more important for them to with a person that's highly intelligent, and open to learning new things, as opposed to someone that's school smart, or as one would call "well educated." One might even call an educated person highly educated, formally educated, or even scholarly. For many people it's more than adequate enough when their partner is smart, and even streetsmart for that matter. It's important for many, if not most, to be able to communicate with their partner, and at times discuss more intellectual topics. 

How Important Is It for You to Be with Someone who's Formally Educated?


Having an intellectual connection is definitely important to me, and I assume, for many. It's all about what a person's preferences are as to whether or not they feel it's mandatory to have schooling and higher education be the route of their partner's intelligence, as opposed to someone that's merely street smart, and knows the ropes. In other words, ultimately, it's all about what different individual wants in a mate. You should only date people that are open-minded and really interested in dating someone like you, whether you're street smart, or whether you have an elaborate education. 

Last but not least, it's important to remember that you can't change people, and you shouldn't even try to for that matter. If you love everything about a person, except for the fact that they're not well educated or some type of overachiever as you might like, then you shouldn't be going out with them. But definitely, don't ever try to change them to make them into the person that you'd want them to be. It's not only unfair to the person, but it's wrong on your end for giving a chance to a situation that you shouldn't. You should know from the very get-go what's important for you to have in a partner, and you should only date those that are in the realm of what you're looking for. 

Friday, October 7, 2016

Dating Someone with Trust Issues


Every new and promising situation that you go into should be given a genuine chance. The best way to do that is by not bringing in any types of issues, wounds, or baggage from previous relationships. It's important to give every person that you date a blank, clean slate, and a fresh start. When you bring trust issues into a new situation, it will never end good. You need to have an open heart and be willing to get hurt in order to fall in love. Part of having an open heart is giving your trust to someone. If you're not willing to give your trust, then you really shouldn't be dating, or at least not yet.

Exploring new relationships can be fun and exciting. But usually more so, when someone doesn't bring any baggage with them. But before I go any further, let's talk about what baggage is. Baggage is a term that used to describe bringing in issues from your past experiences when things were difficult, bad, and unfortunate. Baggage is when you've been cheated on before or hurt from someone that you've dated or been in a relationship with, and you carry those wounds and issues into your new relationship. 

What baggage isn't, but sometimes considered is having children from a previous marriage or relationship. Folks, heed my words when I tell you this - having children is NOT baggage, and no, I'm not saying this because I have children from a previous marriage. I'm saying it because it's a fact. If something like a person having children from a previous situation bothers you, then it's simply not something that you're open to. But it's definitely not baggage.

It's important to trust the person that you're with, and for them to trust you as well. You should be giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, and if there's ever a situation where you question your partner's intentions or motives, then you should politely ask them in a loving and kind manner. But still, let your partner speak their mind, and believe what they say to be true. If your partner is a compulsive liar, then break up with them. But if you're just used to dating compulsive liars and people that might've even cheated on you before, then it's your own issue, and you have to fix it. 

You can't expect that someone's going to stick around if you don't believe them when they tell you things. You need to trust your partner with all of your heart and soul so that your relationship will stand an actual chance. When two people don't trust each other or even when one person doesn't trust the other, relationship problems will be never ending. Honesty is everything in a relationship. You should never take that for granted by even saying white lies to your partner. 

I'm a big believer in being brutally honest, and even when it's hard to be. As long as it's in a kind and loving manner. All we can do is be the best versions of ourselves, and when it comes to relationships, you need to be honest and be willing to trust your partner. If some people can't handle the truth, it's not your issue. Just remember that you get what you give in relationships, so if you give your honesty and trust to someone, they should give it back to you fully, and in return. 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Fear of Rejection and Making the First Move


We all have certain things that we're really good at. Some people are better at some things than others. It's a really great quality to be self-aware, and to know who you are as an individual. Being in touch with who you are as a person can play a huge role in knowing what you're really good at or not good at for that matter. As far as being able to approach someone or make the first move when it comes to dating, it takes a lot of courage and confidence. Not to mention, one of the biggest factors always ends up being how badly do you want someone

How much we want something and what it's worth to us can pertain to goals that we have in life and even when it comes to making that first move towards dating someone, or even speaking to them for that matter. You have to have confidence and guts in order to talk someone for the first time. You never really know what someone's response is going to be, and you have to be willing to be strong and resilient enough to accept the possibility of being rejected. Despite how much courage and confidence someone has to talk to someone and to make that first move, you have to be mentally and emotionally in the right mind frame where you can take it with a grain of rice if someone rejects you. 

As far as being turned down by someone, and even in a cold, harsh, or rude way at times, it's important to know that it's better to lose something that you don't actually have yet. As well, you shouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. For me personally, if someone isn't interested in me or even attracted to me for that matter, I don't even give it a second thought, and I move on. 

Generally speaking, I like people that like me, and I think that's a healthy mindset to have. You can't expect for every single person in this world to find you appealing, attractive, or desirable. Having said that, the right person will not only find it flattering when you make the first move and approach them, but they'll likely be kind, appreciative, and be more than happy that you had the guts and the confidence to make to come up to them. 

There will always be people that don't value or appreciate what it takes for someone to make the first move, and how much confidence and courage it requires. Don't worry about those people, and just appreciate the ones that do have enough kindness and appreciation for the fact that you even tried. When someone approaches a person to date or even talk to, it's not only courageous on their part, but it shows their interest in you, so you should take it as flattery at the very least. 

When it comes to making the first move and having that courage to approach someone, it's never really about what you say, but more so, how do you say it, how much wit and confidence you display, as well as how open the person is to receiving the communication and attention. Frankly, some people have issues and simply can't accept the fact that they're given any attention to whatsoever, let alone if you're the complimentative type and approach them with kind words. Many people are insecure, and hold little to no self-confidence, and that's why they have a hard time accepting compliments from others. Just remember that that's not on you, and it's on that person for lacking the confidence. 

It's never about what you say in that first moment that you speak to someone, so there's no need to dread your opening statement or spend too much time thinking about it. Despite what many people think, there's little to no importance about that first statement that you say, as long as you actually speak up, say something, and go after what you want. Just remember to be authentic, genuine, and act like the real you, instead of some fake, dolled up version of you. Most people appreciate when people are authentic. 

Whether you're a man or a woman, making that first move and approaching someone for the first time can be challenging, and especially if you're the shy type or have an immense fear of rejection. Anyone that fears rejection too much won't be as successful in life or in love for that matter, as opposed to someone that's courageous, confidence, and goes after what they want. So the next time that you feel scared to speak up and make that first move, ask yourself how badly you want it, because the last thing that anyone should want in life is to miss out on a beautiful, new opportunity to find love and happiness. 

Friday, September 23, 2016

Lying to Ourselves, Pretending Everything Is Okay


For many people, the truth is hard to hear or even to acknowledge at times. We don't always want to hear the truth, because either it hurts too much or because we don't want to lose something or someone. But most of all, we don't want anything to change. We avoid knowing or hearing reality at times, because it seems easier than having to deal with the truth. But the biggest problem with doing that is that we're postponing what's bound to happen anyway. 

So instead, many times we avoid things like communication, friendships, or anything that could provoke having to feel and embrace the truth of what you might already know. When we do so, we're basically living a lie, hoping that it will just go away by ignoring it. All this does is leave us empty, cold, and in a distant state of mind mentally and emotionally. 

It's hard to live with pent-up feelings that you're afraid to vent or communicate to someone. You should never have to fear communicating with someone that you love, worried for their reaction or response. As well, you should never have to avoid embracing the reality of a situation and what's become, because holding those emotions deep inside of you will end up hurting you much greater down the line. 

It's understandable why many times people prefer to ignore the truth when it comes to whether or not someone loves us, wants to be with us anymore, or even feels that their lives together have become empty and loveless. The last thing that anyone wants is to feel even more miserable than they might already feel by possibly losing something that they hold so close to their hearts. This especially goes for when someone feels that their spouse or loved one no longer feels close to them or in love. 

Although it's painful, it's imperative to address these types of issues sooner, rather than later. Nothing is more hardening of the soul than to be in a loveless marriage or relationship with someone. In a scenario as such, it's pretty pointless to stay in that type of situation unless you're willing to communicate your feelings to your partner, try to improve on your relationship, and come to terms with the reality of what you're both feeling. 

Self improvement, good communication, and hard work is what it will take to fix relationships that suffer in these ways. You can do your part not hiding what's going on inside of you, but rather to express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns to your loved one. You see, then at least your relationship will stand a chance at being happy again. Just remember, lying to yourself and pretending that everything's okay when it's not won't change anything. Your feelings, your partner's feelings, and your whole relationship will likely suffer if you act stubborn, hold it all inside, or even deny that there's a problem.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Playing Games in Relationships


Playing games in relationships are one of the biggest ways that people destroy something that could be beautiful. Unless you're into sports, board games, or playing chess, games have the power to ruin everything that you might truly want in life (or at least, in your love life). I'm sure that many of you know what types of games I'm referring to. For the amount of people that have gotten played or screwed over by someone at some point in their life, I'm sure most of us are well aware about the different types of mind games there are.

Playing mind games in relationships is something that may appear to some as if they'll have the advantage or the one up so to speak in the relationship. On the contrary, despite what people think that play these types of mind games, many people that don't play mind games are actually choosing not to play mind games, and are well aware of those that do so. They might even play along with you, acting as if they have no idea what's going on, and then playing them back. But if you'd ask me, that's just as bad.


There shouldn't be competition with your partner in life or with any potential love interest either. Competition is meant for on the field, on the court, in the ice rink, or other places as such. Competition is not supposed to be had between two people that have truly good intentions with one another, and in building a life together. There shouldn't be a one up or a winner in arguments between couples. If anything, you should want your partner to succeed and win in nearly everything, and even if it puts you at a disadvantage in some way. That's what true agape love is. True love is being selfless, and wanting your partner's happiness, and even above your own at times.


By playing games, you not only won't be in the lead while dating or in a relationship, but you'll be set back, and have even more growth needed towards developing a healthy, happy, and loving relationship. When you play games, you're not being true to yourself or to your partner. Many times people play games not to try to take advantage of another person per se, but on some unconscious level, that's what they're doing. You see, even in cases where someone wants to know how much their partner loves them, they might play hard to get, but by doing so, they're not being honest with themself or their partner.


Playing hard to get is only one form of a mind game, and it's not even one of the worst. The reason that it's not one of the worst ways of playing games is because people that are usually playing hard to get are doing so, because they lack good communication skills. They usually lack the skills because they're usually too shy or afraid that their partner will judge them for not being ready on an intimate level or even on an emotional level. In cases as such, the couple needs to develop better communication. Having said that, sometimes people take playing hard to get to a different extent in which it would be considered a truly unfortunate and toxic mind game. This would be when someone is trying to get the advantage in a situation, or even use the other person, and they usually have different motives than what they say.


There are many other types of mind games that people play like making someone believe that you're into them, or even that you're in love with them, when you're not even remotely interested in anything other than getting into bed with them. This is a big problem in the dating scene, and even more so when it comes to online dating. This is why it's so imperative that we all go into new situations with a certain amount of caution. You should never have to feel afraid to let go, to be yourself, or even to develop feelings for someone new. However, I don't believe that anyone should fully let their guard down until they know a person a little bit. In other words, you should go into situations with caution, but without fear.


If you're afraid to fall in love, you likely won't get very far in any new relationship. I've only listed a couple of unhealthy games that people play, so it's important to be aware that there are obviously many more. All you really need to do is go into new situations with caution, and you'll be way ahead of the game (pun intended). Remember, despite the fact that playing games with someone's mind and feelings might seem to give you an advantage or might even get you what you want, you'll lose in the long run, because hurting other people is far from being enlightened and good, and karma will likely bite you back at some point.

Monday, September 19, 2016

The Empowerment of Wanting Happiness for Your Ex


You should always want others to experience the happiness and joy of life. Even if we're talking about an ex spouse, and ex-girlfriend, or an ex-boyfriend. Although it isn't the easiest of things to do at times, it's something that you can truly benefit from. You should want the happiness of others even when they've hurt you, broken your heart, or found a new love that they're more compatible with.

Just because you and your ex didn't work out doesn't mean that you hold a grudge or wish them any bad will or feelings. To get to this stage of enlightenment is a big deal, because it will bring you more peace and happiness in life. When you're able to accept the fact that you and your ex are not together anymore, you're headed in the right direction. But the next step is to make peace with the fact that you've gone your separate ways, and be willing to give your light and love to them even from afar, knowing that they've moved on.

Wishing someone the best can be done in many ways without even having to say a word. Whether you're in communication with your ex, whether you're cordial or even if you've ended on bad terms, it's important to dive into the spiritual world and find a place deep within you where you can still wish them love, happiness, and an easy path in their life. When you get to this level of enlightenment, your journey in life and towards finding a new love of your own will be much greater. 

Remember, even if your ex doesn't wish you the best, you can still take the highroad and wish them well regardless, because it just shows what kind of person you are. Just make sure that it's genuine. For your own well being and whether you have children with your ex or not, you should strive towards getting to the stage of enlightenment where you can truly wish happiness onto others, despite your past with them, and regardless of the circumstances.

Friday, September 16, 2016

When You're in Competition with Your Partner


When you're in a relationship with someone, you should want each other to succeed in everything. Although it might seem obvious to most that you're on the same team, at times one or both people in a relationship feel competitive with one another. Whether they have a competitive nature and they're doing an activity together or whether their competitive in business or anything else for that matter, it's never good to compete with your partner, because after all, you're on the same side, the same team, and what's a partner if one of you is trying to beat the other. 

Wanting to succeed at things is something that we should all hope to want and feel the drive for. But winning, beating or achieving more than your significant other shouldn't be a conquest. As a Chess player, I find that when I play chess against someone that I'm dating, they can't always handle it, at least not when they're losing. If they can't handle losing to me (not that they always do), they tend to get cold, distant, break up, and it's almost as if I've taken their manhood or something. 

Some couples simply can't play competitive games or sports with one another, because they just can't take the heat or they it affects their ego. It's kind of ridiculous if you'd ask me. After all, it's a game. This isn't always the case by the way, but I've definitely seen the sore loser a few times, and even at a young age. Honestly, I was going to say that there's a time and a place for ego - But really - there isn't, so there's simply no good excuse to being a bad loser in a competitive game of chess or anything else with someone that you're dating (playing Chess is merely one example).

Being better at someone else at something isn't necessarily a bad thing, because we're all better or worse at this or that than others. You can't expect to be identical to someone or to do everything in the very same manner or level that your partner does. You should be happy for your partner if they're better at certain things than you, and they should be happy for you in the same manner. 

Being partners means supporting one another, and wanting each other to succeed at everything in life. Even if they succeed at things or achieve things easier or even better than you do. You should be your partner's biggest fan. Remember to support your loved one, and show them with your words, your actions, and by not being competitive with them. Being supportive of one another when in a relationship is one of the most beautiful ways of showing your partner how much you love and care for them. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Single Parents Dating: Replacing the Other Parent


When you have kids from a previous situation or marriage, those children are priority. Kids should definitely be treated as a priority, and they should always come first. Children can't fend for themselves, and they need to be taken care of. Any good parent would put their child above you when it comes to dating. 

If you're thinking about dating a single parent, you're going to have to accept the fact that their child or children are going to come first. Therefore, you not only open to dating someone that has kids, but you also need to understand that their children are going to be a priority to them, so their dating schedule might not be as flexible as you'd like it to be. 

When it comes to dating a single parent, you should be getting to know the person that you're dating, as well as be open to listening to how they talk about their child or children. The way that a single parent talks about their children says a lot about their character and their style of parenting. As well, it's important to know that someone's child is a part of them, a huge part of their life, and always will be. This is something that you need to be okay with if considering dating a single parent.


A single parent should never try to replace the other parent, despite if they think highly of them or not. I've never been a big fan of single parents that talk bad about their exes. For me personally, that's a huge red flag. Talking bad about others is a definite no-no, but talking bad about the other parent of your children is a red flag. There's a certain amount of respect that you should have for the other parent, whether or not you and that parent get along very well or not. 

After a few dates or whenever you feel ready to explore an exclusive relationship with a single parent, you might get a chance at meeting their children. I personally feel that it's best to be in an exclusive relationship before that introduction. It's better to already know that you're in a promising situation that has potential to go forward, before meeting someone's kids. And depending on when a single parent feels comfortable enough to introduce their kids to the person that they're dating, there's something that you should know - they're not looking to replace the other parent

If you explore a relationship with a single parent, it's important to know that not now, and not ever are you going to be viewed as a replacement to the other parent. The single parent shouldn't view you as a possible replacement to their ex, and you shouldn't view yourself as a possible replacement either.

You should never try to replace the other parent or even think that it's your job or what's expected, because it's not. It's important to know that dating or being with a single parent doesn't define you as a replacement. Just as well, it's important for the other parent to know that you have no intention of replacing them. Being a good step parent is all about being a good role model, and a good parental figure to the kids. As well, it's also about the children seeing the love between you and their parent. 

I don't know about other single parents, but for me, if my kids don't like someone or someone doesn't seem to get along well with my kids (Thank God that hasn't happened yet), I won't pursue the situation any further. It's kind of funny if you think about it - When we're young kids, our parents tell us whether or not they approve of who we date. But when we have children from a previous marriage or situation, I feel that it's important to get your kids approval of the person that you date. 

Monday, September 12, 2016

How to Be a Great Conversationalist


Being a great conversationalist and knowing how to communicate well go hand-in-hand. Part of being a great conversationalist involves being a great listener, and part of being a great listener involves many of the following things I'm going to share with you. Just keep in mind that self improvement is not something that can be acquired, unless a person is willing to put in the effort and love in improving themselves. As well, no one can improve their communication with others or anything else in life if they're living in denial.

First of all, no one wants to listen to someone that acts like a know-it-all. Nothing is appealing or sexy about someone who acts like they know everything. In case the reason isn't obvious to some, people like being around others that are willing to hear them out, hear their views, and listen to their opinions, even if might not agree with them. There's no way of even knowing whether or not you agree with someone if you don't give them a chance to speak or hear them out. As well, there's no way to hear anyone out if you're busy doing all the talking, and not letting them get a word in. 

One of the great advantages of listening to someone else talk is that you might actually learn from what they have to say. Think about it. You already know the information that's inside of your head, because you want to say it. Therefore, it'll benefit you much more to hear what others think, because not only might you learn something new, but there's always the possibility that you might agree with they have to say. 

Maybe they'll say something logical that will hit home with you and strike a chord in some way. Perhaps in your next conversation with someone else on the same subject matter, you might view things differently or even have even more information on the subject. Either way, it's always good to have an open mind and hear others out, because like I said before, part of being a good conversationalist is being good listener. 

Something else to consider when it comes to being a great conversationalist is that you should have a certain amount of knowledge in whatever you're disgusting or talking about. If you don't have a lot of knowledge in what you're discussing, then that's even more of a reason to listen more than you speak. 

Another thing that's important when it comes to being a great conversationalist is the way that you express yourself and communicate your thoughts and opinions to others. If you walk around with an attitude where you come across as pompous and arrogant to others, no one's going to even bother to give you the time of day, let alone listen to all of your mumbo-jumbo arrogance. It's not going to matter what type of crazy-intelligent thing that you might know or want to share with someone, because if you're not going to be kind, polite, respectful, as well as open to hearing other people's views, no one's going to want to bother listening. 

It's important to be fair when it comes to communicating with others. Being fair plays a big role in how well you communicate. Everyone should get a turn to talk, and everyone should have enough poise and respect for the other person to be able to listen to them. The way that you talk to others and respond to what they have to say shows what type of character you have, and will definitely play a big role in whether or not the person will ever want to talk, discuss, or debate with you again. This goes for everyone, whether you're the debating type of person and you're talking politics or whether you're someone who prefers to avoid political discussions and heavy topics. 

The way that you communicate to others should be done in a kind way where you're not closed minded to the point where you act stubborn, egotistical, and arrogant. Arrogance is ugly and no one wants to feel controlled or unable to share their thoughts in a conversation. Being fair is imperative when it comes to being a great conversationalist. 

When it comes to relationships, having good communication is everything in regards to having peace in the home (shalom bayit). We all need to feel inner peace for ourselves and our own well-being. But, part of that inner peace and happiness starts in the home, and in the environment in which we reside. 

The way that we handle arguments and confrontation with our partner and loved ones when they're upset can make a big difference on how much peace we have in our home. This is why great communication plays a big role in how much peace we have in our homes. The better that we're able to communicate our feelings to others, the more happiness that we'll feel from within, and frankly, the healthier and better off our romantic, work, and social lives will be. 

It's always good to strive to be a good conversationalist and to work on better improving our communication with others. Being a great conversationalist and being able to communicate well plays a big role in our lives in every way. It's important not to get arrogant or feel that we know it all, because if you really think about it, no one really knows it all, and we should all be open to learning new things.