Sunday, August 28, 2016

Be Willing to Work for What You Want


We all want to have that perfect body. But another thing that we all want is to be healthy, and to feel good inside, and out. Feeling good involves having a good self-esteem, feeling confident, motivated, and not only feeling capable of being an inspiration to others, but to ourselves as well. It's much easier for people to preach and to be inspirational towards others, even when they don't take their own advice. 

Perhaps we might even sound hypocritical at times. However, we're in control of whether we listen to and embrace our own words of wisdom and advice or not. We are in fact inspirations to ourselves more than others. But what's needed is to become truly connected with our words of wisdom and the advice that we give to others, until we feel it in deep within us, knowing that they're not empty inspirational words. The fact of the matter is, sometimes we are hypocrites, because we give advice to others, but our own words and actions don't match up, but that can all change. We need to connect with ourselves from within on such a deep level that we're able to inspire ourselves.

When it comes to health, nutrition, and fitness, it's important never to let our emotions take over, and let our moods run the show so to speak.  Our emotions or mood shouldn't be the factor that directs whether or not we work out or eat a certain way. Being that the goal in life is happiness, we need to maintain a certain level of happiness, and to feel at peace from within. 

Being that our moods change all of the time, from moment to moment throughout our daily lives, taking us from happy to sad to angry to high energy to low energy, and so on, it's important to stay focused on our main goal which is to be healthy, stably content to some extent, and if we're making a conscious decision to eat healthier or to develop a regular workout routine and be stable about it, we shouldn't lose track. But instead, stay focused on the right path towards our goal.

We're going to have good days and bad days, and our moods are definitely going to change from moment to moment, and that includes being affected by things that go on every day. But when we have a goal to improve ourselves in any way, whether it's from within in regards to our emotions or whether it's in regards to our work, business, or health and fitness, we shouldn't let others or even ourselves feel deflated or unmotivated, because of a temporary bad mood or issue we might be having. We should strive towards our goals of improving regardless of our mood or our energy level.

There are always things that we can do to improve our energy levels and our moods, so giving up, or not being driven and motivated towards our goals because of our mood should never be an issue. Successful people never succeed by taking days off, because they're not in a good mood or from lack of sleep. They simply sleep enough, make sure that they get an adequate amount of REM rest, and they take good care of themselves so that being lazy or taking a day off doesn't come up as an option to them.

Successful people stay motivated and driven towards their goals no matter what. Even if we strive towards being more motivated a little bit, it can only bring more positivity and enlightenment so that we're able to achieve more in life, and have a better chance at improving ourselves, and striving towards our goals. 

If you have certain goals that you're hoping to achieve, don't put things off for later, because later doesn't always come, and sometimes it turns into a pattern of laziness, and perhaps even a bad habit of postponing things. People might even become flaky, canceling plans for lack of motivation or energy. Taking a short break is normal and can even be beneficial, especially for those that tend to be workaholics. But, a short break or even a little vacation isn't the same thing as postponing goals. Remember those famous hashtags of #workhard and #playhard because they need to resonate to someone that wants to be successful. Remember there should be balance in life, but if we want things to be a certain way and we're not willing to settle for less, then we need to work hard for it.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

True Agape Love


For some people, falling in love is easy. For others, it takes time to develop that loving feeling, and for some people, it takes a lot of time. When it comes to loving another person, the love that you may feel for them now and today is likely going to change in the future. You can't expect that anything in life won't change over time, including your love and feelings towards someone. However, the fact that feelings change over time, doesn't necessarily mean that they'll diminish. If anything, when you're in the right situation and for most healthy and happy relationships, that love and those emotions that you feel for the person you're with have the power to grow into something much more beautiful. 

Genuine, authentic and real love is something that takes time to develop. That doesn't mean that it takes time to develop for some people, as opposed to others. Genuine agape love takes time for everyone to develop into something deeper and truly meaningful. Falling in love may happen so frequently in life that many times it can be misinterpreted for feelings of lust, passion, and desire. It's important not to mistake those lustful feelings that you might have towards someone, and assume that it's true love. 

If you're not in touch with your true feelings enough, and you make a mistake as such, and you feel "in lust," you're bound to explore a relationship that perhaps you never should've. It might even end up becoming a big waste of your and their time. When a love is real, it lasts through sickness and health, through good days and bad days, and the loving feelings that you share and feel towards your partner won't diminish or go away with time. But if anything, those feelings will grow into something that will be everlasting, and much more meaningful. 

No amount of distance can change a love when it's true. No amount of separation between two people can tear their feelings apart from one another. When someone is truly in love with another person, no amount of time, space, turbulence, heartache, or fear can keep them apart. True agape love is a selfless, pure, and giving love. It's the only type of love that's truly unconditional. When someone is truly and utterly in love with someone else, they'll stop at nothing to attain their love, and even more so, they'll do anything and everything to maintain their love, and their relationship. 

Just like anything in life, if you take something for granted, you could lose it in the end. When someone is truly in love with someone else, they'll never risk losing them, and they'll do anything and everything to keep them by their side. This is how you know when someone really loves you, and when it's true and genuine agape love. They'll fight for you, die for you, live for you, and breathe for you. 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

4 Relationship Rules That All Couples Should Follow


Life is about happiness, not about always being right. Shalom bayit is a Jewish term that means peace in the house. In Judaism, as well as in many other religions I'm sure, having a sense of peace, calm, and relaxation is imperative to have in the home. Especially, when there are many people living in the home, and even more so, if a couple has hopes in having, and maintaining a happy and healthy relationship or marriage. 

1. Make Peace in the Home a Priority


Despite a person's religion, and despite whether they're in a relationship living together or married, if both people concentrate on maintaining a sense of peace in their relationship, despite any disagreements or arguments that may occur, they won't get as bad, and definitely won't become volatile in any way. You see, when you make a point of having peace and calm in your home, that becomes a priority. Couples are going to argue. There's really no way of getting around arguments, because at some point or another, disagreements are bound to happen.

Even when couples make an extra effort in keeping a sense of peace in their home, they're still going to argue at times. As well, depending upon how they handle arguments and disagreements, those fights can be prolonged, and even last for an extended period of time, although they really don't have to. As well, depending on how a couple handles their disagreements, they'll either be comparable to little bumps in the road, or they can end up comparable to an entire street of destruction. 

The whole reason to be in a relationship, and even more so, to be married to someone is to acquire more happiness in life. The point of life is happiness. Having a partner in life is supposed to be something that brings about more joy, happiness, and love into your life, not less. Relationships should never involve continuous and prolonged arguments. When things bother you or your partner, you should learn to nip things in the bud, as to resolve issues while they're new and likely smaller. The quicker a couple is able to resolve their issues when they disagree on something, the better off they'll be. 

2. Right or Wrong, Who Cares


Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm into music, and I love sharing with people that I love and care for. So watch this, and then come back, and read the rest. ;) (click here)

At the first sign of arguments, it's important to understand that no one is always going to be right. But even more importantly, couples should truly know and understand the fact that it doesn't really matter who's right or wrong in relationships. Having peace in the home is much more imperative, than winning an argument or being right all of the time. Being right all the time isn't going to get you or your partner anywhere in life. As well, it's definitely not going to bring about more happiness for you and your partner as a couple.

Remember folks, we're talking about having long-term happiness, and being able to share your life with someone you love, and in the happiest way possible. If your main concern and priority is maintaining the happiness for you, your partner, and for your relationship to be happy so that you'll both feel at peace with one another, you should focus more on how to remain happy, as opposed to who's right or wrong when you get into fights. Think about it. What's your real goal in life? No one should be egotistical and arrogant to the point where they lose the fact of what really matters in life. If you want to live a predominantly happy life with your partner, then you should try and concentrate on different things that can bring about more joy and life into your beautiful world. 

3. Focus on the Positive, and Appreciate What You Have


Don't focus on the negative, the problems, or the things that your relationship lacks. Instead, concentrate on what you can do to make you, your partner, and your relationship a better one. Always work on improving your relationship from its core. That means adding to it by doing your share of things, putting effort into giving, and making the time to show your partner how much they mean to you. We should always make the time for our partner by being there for them in times of need, in times of desire, at times just to listen to them, and to always be their absolute best friend

Our partner should be a priority to us, and we should value their feelings, thoughts, opinions, and be appreciative for the mere fact of having such a beautiful gift in our lives. One of the best ways of creating more happiness in relationships is by being appreciative of what you, your partner, and the relationship has. When we lack appreciation for what we have in life, many times the result and outcome is a deteriorated relationship that you can likely compare to a wilted flower. 


4. Comparing Your Partner and Your Relationship to Others


You shouldn't have to compare your partner to anyone else. As well, you shouldn't have to compare your relationship to anyone else's. There's no contest that you're trying to win, so if you're the type of person that feels the need to compare yourself and how your life is to others, you're never going to find true and genuine happiness. Genuine happiness comes from within, and never from beating someone at a test or achieving more than another. If anything, if you're the type of person that appreciates the failure in others, you have a lot of deep soul-searching that you're going to have to do, because kindness and love are two of the main core ingredients in being happy. 

You can't expect to be truly happy by beating another person at something or winning. Don't compare your relationship to other relationships or even your marriage to other marriages. As well, stop comparing your partner to others when it comes to what your partner does for you or how they act, etc., because this won't help bring more happiness into your life. Again, your main focus should be on how to bring more happiness and peace into your life. Don't be so concerned with others. The grass isn't greener, so simply appreciate what you have, and be thankful.

Wishing you all an amazing weekend, and on one last note, I just wanted to take a moment to thank my readers for following along on my blog. If anyone has any thoughts, questions, or comments, as always, feel free to leave them at the end of the post. As well, I'm always open to writing about different subject matters, so if you have any thoughts or ideas that you'd like me to write on, just mention them in the comments. Thanks again, and enjoy the rest of this beautiful day. 

Honesty and Loyalty Go Hand in Hand


This morning, I found myself listening to Ryan's Roses on 102.7 KISS FM. I know, I know, listening to this show is debatable, but I can't stop. There are moments when I can't listen to it, because when Ryan's Roses is on, you have to be emotionally ready to handle any outcome of what could befall. In case you haven't heard, the show is about cheating, and being unfaithful to your partner. 

On the show, Ryan has a lady, whether Sisanie or someone else call someone's partner on behalf of the pretend flower shop, offering to send them a free dozen roses, only asking in return for a name, and a note for him to give them. Once they've convinced someone to give their name and a note to that person, many times they unfortunately catch them cheating on their partner, being that they choose to send the roses to someone other than their significant other. Did I mention that their partner is listening in on the other end. 

When it comes to this show, you have to be prepared for the worst, even if you're hoping for the best. I'm sure that some people get a kick out of others having relationship problems. But, I'm definitely not one of those types. For me, when I listen to the show, it truly breaks my heart in a big way when I find out that someone's partner was unfaithful. One good thing about the show, other than it's insanely interesting appeal of good entertainment is that I think it brings more trust to couples or at least to the person that thought their partner was cheating, when they find out that their partner had been faithful all along. 

When I was listening to Ryan's roses today, they had an episode where a lady in a relationship with a man were both invited to a wedding in Las Vegas. The woman was unable to attend, but she still told her boyfriend that he should go ahead, and enjoy himself. When Ryan Seacrest questioned whether she'd said that he should go, but didn't really mean it, meaning no meant yes, in this case, the lady said absolutely not, and that she was being genuine. She said that she truly and genuinely meant for him to enjoy his trip, and that she didn't say to enjoy it out of some bitter or envious place. In other words, her intentions were pure, and she generally wanted him to go ahead and have a good time without her. However, he posted pictures of himself in a group of people with another woman who was sitting close to him. 

His girlfriend saw these pictures, and suspected him of cheating with the girl he sat close with. Of course, we can all assume that either she doesn't trust her man, and just give him the benefit of the doubt, and not think too much about it. But then again, the guy ended up sending the free dozen roses to the girl that was sitting close to him in the pictures. 

He admitted to cheating with this woman, as well as desiring to break up their relationship. When they spoke about the situation at the end of the show, the girl was saying to the guy on air that she'd asked him previously if anything had gone down or if he was unfaithful in any way with the woman in Las Vegas. He told her no at the time, and even said to her, "Are you crazy!" Well, I think we can all agree that his response was obviously dishonest. 

Then there was a discussion where Ryan Seacrest stated one line that I found to be so true, and in so many ways. He said that you can't expect honesty from someone who isn't loyal to you. Right there, splat! Ryan, you hit it on the nail! I believe that honesty and loyalty go hand-in-hand. It's true that you can't expect to have a faithful partner or even a happy relationship if your partner is going to be lying to you. Lying is one of the most destructive things that goes on in relationships, and it's one of the biggest reasons that many relationships fail. 

Trust issues are never good in relationships. Many couples are willing to work on their relationships when they sense that there are some trust issues, and they try to improve them. However, that takes a lot of time, effort, and love, so when couples are willing to work on their trust issues, they're likely in their relationship for the long-haul. Couples that are willing to self improve, and work on improving their relationship also have much greater chances at having, and maintaining a happy life. 

Remember, we should always give our partner the benefit of the doubt. We shouldn't need to publicly embarrass others or give them a bad name either by shaming them to the world for their wrongdoings. We should need to use Ryan's Roses or Jerry Springer types of sources in order to find out if our partner's are faithful or not. Relationships need to be based on a solid and strong foundation routed from honesty, trust, loyalty, and healthy communication. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The Importance of 'Being Ready' to Date


When it comes to dating, what feels right for you, and what might seem like a great match, might not actually be someone that's good for you. A lot of people "could be" a great match for you. But as we should all know, a great catch doesn't always make the right match. For each and every one of us, there is that one special someone and they're likely out there hoping to meet us as well. It's imperative not to lose hope or faith until that moment comes when we actually stand face to face with our true love. 

We need to hold and grasp enough inner strength within us so that we're able to stay optimistic in our search. As well, it's important to keep a genuinely positive outlook, and an open heart so that we'll recognize our love when we actually meet. The last thing that anyone would want is to come across to the person that we're supposed to be with as someone that's skeptical, pessimistic, closed minded, emotionally wounded, or scared to fall in love. This is a big reason added to the most logically and obvious other reasons why having an open heart is important. 

When dating someone new, it's important not to bring in baggage of unhealed wounds and heartache from previous relationships. If you haven't made peace with your past and let go of any and all residual feelings of heartache that you've experienced, you're not only not ready to date, be in a relationship, or start something new, but you're definitely not going to be emotionally capable of falling in love. 

If you don't have an open heart, you won't be able to fall in love and embrace the magic of what true love really is. Sure, if you're the type that has hopes or superficial desires of embracing empty love, by all means, go ahead and strive for that. But for all others in with hopes of finding a genuine, deep, long lasting, meaningful, and fulfilling connection with someone, you need to be ready.


To get the opportunity of what genuine, authentic, real, agape love is and can be, both people in a relationship need to be fully ready. By ready, this means that they both must be emotionally ready, have no residual feelings for anyone else, as well as be emotionally available, have an open heart, and be ready to fall. 

You can't rush feeling better in any way, whether you're physically, mentally, or emotionally sick. Being emotionally unavailable is basically like walking around with unhealed, open wounds. You need to take care of yourself, and be whole and complete before even putting yourself out on the market to date. No one should date someone when their heart isn't open to falling for them. That's just setting yourself and the other person up for what possibly could be a big disappointment. 

You should never put yourself in a position where someone can develop feelings for you (even on a first date), if your heart isn't open to falling for them as well. That wouldn't be right or fair by any means. So have a heart, take care of your heart, and prevent anyone else's heart from feeling pain or distress by waiting to date until you're fully ready. 

Sunday, August 14, 2016

One of the Worst Types of Toxic People


I wanted to write an article about one of the worst forms of toxic people. This particular form of a toxic person is one that unfortunately doesn't get as much attention as it deserves. The toxic person that I'm referring to is "the provoker." The provoker is someone that provokes someone in order to get a response or some type of reaction. Whether someone knows that they're a provoker or even if it's on some hidden subconscious level, they're capable of just as much damage as someone that's abusive. The reason being is that provoking is a form of abuse. You see provokers are actually bullies.

People that are generally good at provoking people unfortunately, tend to be more of the intelligent types because they have a way of manipulating people, and at times, without even realizing what they're doing. Like I said before, many times the provoker doesn't even realize the power that they hold within themselves when they're provoking others. 

Let me give you a few examples of a provoker. 


Have you ever given someone the middle finger when driving or even seen someone else do it? Well, that's a reaction but, it's also emotionally provoking. Now taking that action to the next level... 

In response to receiving the middle finger at someone for whatever reason, if you smile at the person, as if you're happy that they're angry to the point of giving you the finger, that's even more destructive. You see that's playing mind games, and enjoying the misery and agony in another person, and even worse than that, you're letting them see that you enjoy seeing their pain. That will likely provoke them to an even higher level of anger. 

Another example would be simply enjoying the pain in others, and smiling at them while you're aware of their suffering, knowing that that particular type of (evil) smile will cause them even more misery. Another form would be bullying someone or purposely annoying them to a point where they want to react. When it comes to relationships, one very common act of a provoker is when a person intentionally provokes their partner knowing what triggers them to feel anger or hurt, and uses it to their advantage.

Some people might even be so selfish that they don't realize how they're provoking others around them. 


We all have our own issues that we need to work on in life. Some of us have more issues than others. But, we all have our own issues, and we can all work on self-improvement. People should spend much more time in the self-help section than they do in any other section of the library or bookstore. It's imperative to work on ourselves as beings and strive towards becoming better and more enlightened people. It's unfortunate that many times we end up in bad relationships where we feel nothing but misery and unhappiness. Many times, in those relationships, we even feel a struggle to leave, because we get so used to a person, and even when they're toxic, we stay. 

It's important to regain control over our lives, and remember that the goal in life is happiness. We need to be happy in all of our relationships, including our friendships, and our family relationships as well. Relationships should bring more happiness, not less, and it's imperative to surround ourselves with people that bring more joy into our lives, instead of creating more misery and turbulence for us. 

Nothing is worse than when someone acts cruel, heartless, insensitive, and says mean things just to trigger you. We all have trigger words, and things that we know we shouldn't say. If you don't realize that your partner has certain trigger words that you shouldn't say, then you need to spend more time getting to know your partner. It's important to know who you're dating, in a relationship with, and even more so, who you're married to. You can't expect to have a happy and healthy relationship for the long term if you don't really know who your partner is, and what triggers them. 

When you find out what triggers your partner, you should avoid saying or doing those things. This doesn't mean that you're avoiding walking on eggshells. On the contrary, it's all about having common courtesy, being a decent human being, and most of all, having a little common sense. When you know something hurts another person, it's simple, and you don't do it. No one should walk around being on eggshells, afraid to talk, speak their mind, or give their opinions. 

Everything you say and do in life should have a pure, good, and positive motive behind it. No one deserves to be treated poorly by anyone. If someone uses trigger words, and says hurtful things in arguments to you or simply to provoke some type of reaction in you, they're basically using emotional weapons to battle in your relationship, and that's completely toxic. You should never stay in an unhealthy relationship. Depending on the situation and on how bad things are, it's always important to communicate your feelings first, and foremost before doing anything drastic like ending a relationship. 

Keep in mind that communication is everything in relationships, and sometimes your partner might not even realize that they're triggering you or that they're provoking you on any level. It's important to address all issues early on, and when you see them starting to develop, before they turn into something that might be harder to fix down the line. It's always good to nip things in the bud when the issues are just detected, and new. 

Anytime you find yourself in a relationship where your partner triggers you or provokes you to react in different ways like becoming angry, upset, or feeling any type of pain, remember that their actions are toxic, and you need to address the issue to them as soon as possible. Nothing's worse than being in a relationship with someone that provokes you on a daily basis, and no happiness can come of it. On a last note, and perhaps most importantly, although we're all just human, and we all have a tipping point, it's important to have enough self control and inner strength when dealing with the provoker not to negatively respond. But instead, to view them as toxic people doing toxic actions. 

Friday, August 12, 2016

I Want Your Happiness Because...


I love you.

We all have different ideas and definitions of what love is, and what it means to us. However, despite anyone's view on what love is or what it means to them, one thing I think we can all agree on is the fact that when you really love someone, you want them to be happy. When it comes to expressing our love to others, it's important to always want what's best for the other person, even if we don't benefit in any way. Just because someone isn't benefiting or getting anything out of a situation with someone that they love doesn't mean that they should hate that person or want them to fail or suffer in life in any way. When you love someone, and I mean truly love a person, you want to see them happy, thrive, and succeed at everything in life.

There's a fine line between love and hate, because both of those emotions are so intense, strong, and passionate. They're both powerful emotions, and for those who are unaware, many times hate is actually routed from love or the lack of love. 

Despite which way someone expresses their love to another, if someone doesn't want the other person to be happy, they don't truly love them. When you really love someone, you're willing to put them before yourself, your needs, and your wants. If you love someone, you'll want their happiness, even if they don't want to date you, be in a relationship with you, marry you, live with you, be your friend, or even be in your life. If you love them, you'll accept that they don't want to be close to you, because you love them that much. When it comes to someone wanting no contact with you or not wanting to be with you in a relationship, etc., if someone truly loves you, there will be a point of acceptance, and understanding. There's a point where pursuing something or someone that doesn't want to be with you isn't a good thing. 

When you have someone in your life that you really love and care for, you should do whatever you can to be good to that person by being loving, kind, selfless, and giving. You should put effort into anything that's important to you including all of your relationships. By relationships, I mean all relationships, from your family, to your friends, to your romantic partner. It's important to treasure and cherish everything that's important to you in life by putting effort into things, and by appreciating them. It's true what they say, that if you don't appreciate things, you're basically taking things for granted, and you could lose them. We should all think ahead in life and prevent nasty consequences from happening by appreciating what we have when we have it, and not after we've lost it. 

If you're close to someone in any way, whether it's a friendship or in a romantic way, and you feel that they're not showing you how much they care about you with their words, their actions, or by putting little to no effort into making time for you, then it's important to reevaluate those relationships. But before reevaluating those relationships, make sure that you communicate your feelings to the person first, and foremost. Don't be hasty or drastic and end a friendship or a relationship because you're not getting enough attention or if you feel the lack of love on the other person's part. First communicate your feelings to the person, and if nothing changes after giving one chance, or even two or three chances, you need to end the situation. You should love yourself enough and respect who you are as a person so that people don't take you for granted. You shouldn't be around anyone who's not going to appreciate having you in their life.

Remember, love is not supposed to be conditioned upon getting what you want or benefiting in any way from a person or a situation. Love is a selfless act, or at least it's supposed to be. When you really love another person, you'll know it, because you'll have their best interest at heart, and despite your wants and needs, you'll want them to be happy, even if you're not included in that happiness. Someone that loves you will feel genuinely happy when they know that you're happy, feeling good, or successful in life. Someone that truly loves you won't feel bitter, envy, or jealousy when you succeed or find happiness and fulfillment in life. They'll be so happy and proud of you, and your happiness could even bring them tears of joy. 

It's important to surround ourselves with people that feel genuine love for us. No one deserves to be conditionally loved, and only loved when there's some benefit that they're receiving. On a last note, just as much as you want to feel loved, it's important to realize and understand that others feel the same way. We all want to experience what real love feels like. Whether you're single, separated, divorced, widowed, or even a confirmed bachelor for life, we all need to feel loved by others. Life is too short to feel hatred and ill will towards others. Loving other people is not only easy to do, but this world would be a much better place if we'd all just try to love a little bit more. 

Monday, August 8, 2016

Going After What You Want


In life, we always hope and pray that everything will turn out just perfectly, and as we'd like. Unfortunately, things don't always happen exactly how we'd hoped or expected them to. As we strive towards our goals and go after what we want in life, despite what we do, even if we organize and create a game plan of some sort, sometimes things don't happen exactly the way we want. 

As many of us know in life, opportunities happen for each and every one of us, and all of the time. However, if we don't act on those opportunities quick enough when we're given the chance (click here), sometimes we miss out, and at times, we miss out really big. We can't always get everything that we want in life. Especially, when we're not willing to go after what we want. However, we can definitely try to get what we want, and in doing so, we'll have a greater chance at achieving what we'd like. 

As far as getting exactly what we want, exactly when we want it, and precisely being able to control every minor detail of how we get what we want doesn't always happen the way we might hope or plan. But, when you think about it, that's okay. The reason that it's okay is because things don't happen exactly the way that we want them to happen all of the time. But that doesn't mean that even better things won't happen to us. Sometimes things that are even better happen in our lives when we put so much love, effort, and hard work into going after what we want. 

We get rewarded in life in many different ways. But rewards come to those that go after their goals and work hard towards achieving them, and maintaining them. If you don't go after what you want in life, then you're not striving towards your goals. You're not even striving toward your dreams. Just as I've written before, you need to view your dreams as goals, and work hard towards achieving them. You need to be determined, create a game plan, stay focused, and balanced as you head in the right direction towards achieving your goals. You need to be driven, motivated, and willing to put in the hard work and effort that it takes to get whatever you want in life. 

Just because things don't happen exactly as you might hope, and just because sometimes we need to pay the dues while we built our dreams and create better lives, it doesn't mean that we won't achieve what we want in life, because we will. But it might not be exact to the T. It might not be precisely how we envisioned things to be. It could be pretty close though. If anything, usually when we're willing to put a lot of hard work, love, and effort towards reaching our goals, things might not only happen as we'd hope, but they might even happen even better than we'd hoped. 

It's important to stay focused in life. As we maintain our drive and focus, we need to remember that despite the hardships that may come at times while we're building our dreams and going after what we want in life, sometimes we might feel as a failure or perhaps as if things didn't go as we'd planned or prefered them to. But that doesn't mean that we're a failure by any means. On the contrary, the outcome and the result of all of our hard work in life will eventually pay off and show great rewards all in time. Maybe not in the time that you'd hoped. But, in time, great results for your achievements will be obvious and apparent to you in the future. 

If you want to create a certain type of lifestyle for yourself, don't let small or even large stumbling blocks in the road keep you from achieving what you want. Don't let people around you distract you or take you away from your path to success. But most of all, don't be afraid to fall, mess up, or at worst, fail while striving towards success. We all fail at different times. But it's important to remember that what you might be viewing as failing isn't truly failing. You can't fail at something that you don't give up on. You'll get there, and you'll get what you want in life. Just don't give up, and never stop striving towards your goals, and a better life. 

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Doing Your Share in Relationships


When it comes to being in a relationship with someone, being considerate, understanding, and respectful of the other person's needs is so crucial in maintaining happiness as a couple. You can't expect to thrive in a one-sided relationship, because both people's needs, wants, and desires should be equally met. Whether you're dating or in a relationship, it's important to be on the same page, to go at the same pace, and to be respectful of one another so that you both feel loved, accepted, and understood. 

Just because you have certain views on things, it doesn't mean that your partner is going to feel the same way. Having said that, it's important to realize that you don't have to agree on everything, just because you're dating a person or even if you're in an exclusive relationship. You don't have to change who you are at your core, and you don't have to share all of the same feelings, opinions, and views on different issues. But there has to be a certain amount of respect that you have for one another so that even when you don't agree on things, you can still listen to each other's opinions, and and at the very least, agree to disagree. 

You don't have to change a person's views or make them feel exactly how you feel about things. When it gets to a certain point where you feel differently about a certain subject or if you feel that you're on two different pages about an issue, it's important not to let the situation or subject matter get the best of you. If you let something like a difference of opinion become such a big issue for you as a couple, both people are going to suffer, and so will the relationship. There's no need to let disagreements become such a big deal that you lose the sense of what's really important in life or to you for that matter. 

The goal is happiness, and you should do whatever it takes to keep yourself, and your relationship happy. We need to concentrate on keeping ourselves happy (click here), because we're the ones running the show for our own bodies, minds, and souls. We need to make sure that we are whole and healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically because no one's going to do that for us. Your partner needs to take care of themselves and provide their own happiness, and you need to provide yours. 

As a couple, you need to work on self-improvement continuously and stably so that your relationship is happy one, and so that you thrive as a couple. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't do things to make your partner feel good and happy inside. On the contrary, you should go out of your way and put large amounts of effort into every little thing that you do, and to try your best to bring more happiness to your partner and into the relationship. However, when all is said and done, you're responsible for your own happiness and for what you put into the relationship from your end.

Relationships should never be one sided. It takes two people putting in an equal amount of love and effort into everything when it comes to making sure the relationship is a successful one. This doesn't mean that both people in a relationship or even a marriage need to do the same types of work or that they're required to share the exact same duties of the home or outside of the home for that matter. What I'm trying to say is that a relationship takes two people to fully work and thrive. That means putting love and effort into whatever it is that you're adding into the relationship. 

Being equals doesn't mean that you have to put in the same exact things. What it means is that you're putting in the same amount of love and effort into everything that you're responsible for in the relationship. If you're both responsible for going out, getting a job, and bringing in money, then you should both put the maximum amount of love and effort into that. If one of you works outside of the home and one of you either works inside of the home, is a stay-at-home parent, or anything else, you need to do your share. It's not specifically about your job title or the work that you're doing. It's more so about the amount of love, care, effort, and hard work that you're putting into whatever it is that you're doing. Doing your share in the relationship is what makes half of it complete. So if you're both putting in your share and doing your part, the relationship will be full, happy, and you'll feel complete. 

Being in a relationship is kind of like having a teammate or a partner in life, and that's why I refer to couples as partners whether they're dating, in a relationship, or married. Remember this, if you want to make the most out of your relationship and feel the happiest, so that both of your needs and wants are being met, then you have to do everything to maintain that happiness within your relationship. In other words, you have to do your part, and they have to do theirs. 

As far as disagreements go, you shouldn't have prolonged arguments or let things build up when you disagree on things. You should try to nip things in the bud and address whatever issues or concerns that you're having. As well, you should discuss the things that you disagree on, as opposed to sweeping them under the rug. What's most important is to feel heard, whether or not someone agrees with you on different subjects. 

Whenever possible, and whenever you're in a disagreement, try to hear each other out. Make sure that you both get your point across, and if you still disagree, let it go whenever possible. If you're disagreeing on major issues and things of the sort, then you're going to have to sit down and have a calm and logical discussion about it. But just remember that relationships are give and take. You don't need to agree on everything, and sometimes, if we'd just brush our ego aside, and recognize certain issues as not as big of a deal as they seem, we should just take the "Fonzie approach," and we'll be a lot happier, and so will our relationship. 

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Quality over Quantity in Friendships


It's important to have people in your life that want the best for you, bring out the best in you, and that truly love you. We should only surround ourselves with healthy, kind, and enlightened individuals that truly want us to succeed in life, and in every possible way. Just as well, we should all avoid toxic people whenever we can, and that goes for toxic friendships and relationships. When it comes to choosing who you surround yourself with, you need to be cautious until you truly get to know who a person is on the inside. This can be a lot harder for people that move around a lot. 

To know a little bit about me, I've moved around quite a bit, being that my family kept moving throughout my childhood. I've gone to 16 or 17 schools total, and and I've definitely gotten a chance to see a good portion of the United States, because of it. So it's not necessarily a bad thing that I moved around a lot. But instead, I view it as quite a good thing for many reasons. First off, I got to meet people from all over the world. People of different ethnicities, races, backgrounds, and in all different types of cities that are filled with such a variety of people. 

For anyone that knows me, and I mean truly knows me, knows that I love people. Actually, let's be brutally honest a minute here, I love kind hearted and good people. I can't stand cruel and cold hearted people. So yes, I've definitely become a bit worldly and have gotten a chance to see a good portion of the United States most definitely. The reason that I moved around so much was because my stepfather was a Rabbi, and he accepted different contracts that were short-term, as well some for some other different reasons.

Either way, the result was that we moved around quite a bit. Being that I moved around so much, I've made so many different types of friends. Of course, being the new girl all of the time, I definitely got my share of being bullied. I can't say that I enjoyed that very much. But other than being bullied here and there at different schools and what not, I also got a chance to meet some amazing friends that might've been few, but as we all know, few is better, as long as they're good friends. Less is definitely always more when it comes to quality. At least, this is my belief.

Now that you know little bit about me, I wanted to share my two cents on a few things. When it comes to having good friends, certain things are mandatory. We're not talking about good looks, financial status, or how popular someone might be. But I'm more so talking about some essential qualities that a good friend must hold. 

Good friends should want you to succeed in life. They should want to see you happy, thrive, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. Good friends should always have your best interest at heart, and want what's best for you. They might not always agree with the choices that you make in life, but they should still stand by your side and support you, as long as it's not something that's going to hurt you now or in the long run. Sometimes it can be tricky to be supportive of a good friend when we don't agree with the things that they're doing. To have a good friend, you don't have to agree on everything. However, you should definitely be open to listening to one another, and you should always value their feelings and opinions.

What's unfortunate is that sometimes we need to let friends go their separate ways when we find that being friends with them brings us unhappiness or if we discover that they were toxic all along. Sometimes we need to do a little soul-searching and self discovery before we realize that someone isn't adding to our life, but instead, they're taking away from it, and from our happiness. It's truly unfortunate, but many times we have to end good friendships and it can be painful for one or both of the people. 

I've definitely had my share of ending friendships throughout my life, and I can honestly say that I did what was needed to be done, but that doesn't mean that it was easy. I can definitely think of two or three times throughout my life where I had to end a friendship, despite the fact that I loved those people dearly. When I felt that a friend was putting me down, was acting one-sided, or was making choices and doing things that I felt were hurting them, others, or myself, I realized that I could no longer surround myself with their company or stay friends with them. 

Having stable friendships is very important in life, and it's those that have been brought up in a stable environment throughout their childhood that more so than not tend to have friendships that remain from their childhood and last. Having said that, for all others that had to move around a lot like myself, it can be harder to maintain stable friendships, because they weren't routed from childhood, and they're newer so to speak. 

Anytime you make a new friend, you have to take time and get to know who they really are as a person, on the inside, and to see if they're a good fit for you to have in your life or even if they're possibly a toxic person. Whether someone is toxic or not can actually take a certain amount of time to tell. Many times people's true colours come out down the line, if they weren't authentic or genuine from the beginning. This is why it's always good to be genuine and to be yourself from the get-go, as opposed to wasting your time or others when making friends, or within any other type of relationship. 

Remember, it's important to have good friends in life. But, it's better to have good quality friends, as opposed to surrounding yourself with bad people, toxic people, or anyone else that will bring out the worst in you or bring you down in life. Love yourself enough to surround yourself with like-minded, loving, and warm hearted individuals. Be a good friend to yourself by picking and choosing good friends to surround yourself with.

Friday, July 29, 2016

This Is Me, so Like Me or Leave Me



There's nothing better than being on a date with someone that acts like themselves, and doesn't try to impress you by putting on a show. It's one thing to make a good first impression with someone and to act in an appropriate manner. Things like having good table manners and the appropriate amount of proper etiquette is always very appealing. But, when it comes to someone's personality, nothing's worse than someone acting as if they're perfect, because no one is. No one should really wants to have to dig through levels of someone's personality until they find out a person's true character, and who they really are at their core. 

I don't know about you, but for me, my time is valuable and I'd like to think that if I go on a date with someone that they view my time is valuable, and they know their own self-worth enough to view their time as valuable too. Wasting people's time is never a good thing, and it's important to treat people as you'd want to be treated. No one wants to sit across from someone on a date that's putting on an act or a show, trying to come off as someone that they're not, in order to impress you. For me personally, when someone acts real, authentic, and sincere, nothing could impress me more. 

Keeping it real in relationships is essential, but also knowing things like having proper manners, acting chivalrous, or being a lady or a gentleman should be common sense. Being authentic and keeping it real doesn't mean that you're supposed to come off as a jerk or as if, "This is me, so deal with it." No one wants to date someone, let alone be with someone that's going to be arrogant, egotistical, or narcissistic. At least, I haven't met anyone that's interested in dating someone of the sort. Keeping it real doesn't mean being comfortable enough to treat people poorly and act as a king or queen. You're not a king, queen, or princess, so there's no need to get your nose that high in the air. 

It's important to stay grounded, and act in a humble manner by being appreciative, honest, and sincere. You should let a person see who the real you is, and if you're not those three above things, then no one's going to want to date you. At least, not a very good catch. If you act in an authentic and genuine way, you'll be able to tell a lot quicker whether or not you and your date will be good for one another. Acting authentic and being the real you doesn't make it so you'll automatically end up with the person you're dating. However, what being authentic does do is make things a lot easier for you and your date to be able to see if you're a good match or not, without having to dig through layers of being fake, or any other type of bullshit. 

Remember, if you want someone that's going to be a good match for you, you're going to want them to fall in love with who you really are, and in order for them to see that person, you have to be yourself. So keep it real folks, let your guard down, and give situations a chance when you feel that they're promising. Let a person see the real you, the imperfect you, and the one that your soulmate is going to cherish and fall in love with. You won't have to impress your soulmate or besherit.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Put Some Love into It


When it comes to doing things for others, there's a big difference between doing something because you want to, and doing something because you have to. It's always more of a challenge to feel like you have to do something by force, instead of by will. We all have priorities and things that we have to do in life, and sometimes those things are simply out of our hands. Sometimes, we don't have a choice. Whether we want to do certain things is many times irrelevant, because we simply have to do them if we want our life, our well-being, and if we have children, their well-being, and everything else to go smoothly. Despite how much money that anyone has, despite how well off someone is, and despite who you might consider hiring to do certain things for you, some things you have to do yourself.

Each and every morning, we all wake up with a choice to be happy and in a good mood, or to feel sad, deflated, kind of miserable, and in a bad mood. Like I've said before in some articles that I've written, there's really no such thing as waking up on the wrong side of the bed. There is no wrong side. We all have the power within ourselves to be happy, in a good mood, and to feel optimistic about having another chance at another day. 

If we get lazy and want others to do everything for us in life, we won't grow as individuals, we won't succeed as much as we would have, and we won't get the same type of credit for doing things in which we could. It's imperative to put our love and hard work into everything if you want to see the best results. You have to care about what you do in life, and even more so, you should love what you do when it comes to everything. If you're a parent, you should love being a parent. If you're a grandparent, you should embrace that opportunity, and adore the fact that you have grandchildren. If you're married, or even in a relationship, you should put love and effort into it, and not because you have to, but because you want to.

One of the best ways of showing someone how much you care is by closeness and making the time for them. If you work in a certain profession, you should love what you do and be excited about it. You should do things for people that you love to let them know how much you care. You should do sweet gestures and kind acts not because you have to, but because you want to. Every morning that you wake up, you should feel happy and motivated towards all of these things, these blessings, and for new opportunities that might come your way.

You should feel appreciative and thankful that you're in a position to embrace what you have, and that includes the ability to spend time with loved ones, the ability to work hard and strive towards your goals, or raising your kids in a way where they know that you care. You're healthy enough, and you have the choice to be happy and embrace all of the things that you have in life. For every little thing, or for every big thing for that matter, you should be thankful for it, and not take anything, whether it's your family, your spouse, your children, your friends, your work, your job, or anything else for granted.

We should all love what we do, and when we have the opportunity to do things for ourselves, we should be willing to put in the hard work, and take challenges on, despite the possible difficulties that could arise. Some people are not well enough mentally, physically, or emotionally to be able to put in as much hard work, love, and effort as they'd like. It's unfortunate for them, but for all others that are able to, we should all strive to do our best in life, to succeed, and to truly and utterly appreciate everything that we have and do in life. 

Friday, July 22, 2016

Relationships Involve Give and Take


One thing that I've learned about being in a relationship with someone is that in order for couples to be happy, there needs to be a balance of give and take. People in relationships need to be just as willing to give love and put effort into things just as much as they're willing to receive it. One-sided relationships never work, or at least not for very long. If you have hopes in finding a relationship that can provide the kind of happiness that couples should feel, then both people need to be equally willing to put effort into improving it. 

It's important to remember that no two people are exactly alike and even if you or your partner are best friends and have many common interests, you're not going to always want to do the same things. Depending on a couple and depending how much time they like to spend with one another, sometimes they're going to disagree about things they do together. Even at times when one person doesn't want to do the same activities or hobbies with their partner, many times their partner still wants them involved, and to join them in whatever it is so that they feel close to them. 

The problem with that is the fact that one of the people doesn't want to do certain activities or hobbies that their partner might, and it can feel like a total drag at times. It's important to remember that like I said above, relationships take give and take, so sometimes you should do things for your partner and with your partner just because it makes them happy, and even when it's not really something that you'd necessarily want to do. This doesn't mean that you have to do every little thing together as a couple. 

Being independent is also important to many people, and it's also a great way to give people a sense of freedom even though they're in a relationship. There's nothing wrong with people being independent. I'm more so referring to certain moments when one of the people in a relationship wants their partner involved at a certain function, activity, hobby, or even something as little as choosing what restaurant or movie for an evening. Sometimes people just want to feel a certain closeness with their partner and have them be involved, even if it's not their preference on what they're going to do. 

It's important to pick and choose your battles in relationships. Like the old saying goes, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Concentrate on giving in your relationship, and more so than receiving. If both people in a relationship concentrate on giving to their partner, putting effort into doing things for them, and trying to think of ways in which to create happiness for their partner, the love and happiness in their relationship will blossom. When couples do these things on a regular basis, their relationship is going to not only be healthy and happy, but the love will thrive, grow, and your kind actions will most likely, naturally reciprocate from your partner. 

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Power of Being Authentic on Dates


When it comes to early dating, getting to know another person can be quite challenging at times. Many times people put on a front by trying to act in a way that would be perceived as more impressive to their date. For whatever reasons, many people believe that they need to impress someone to the max during early dating. On the contrary, during early dating (and perhaps always) you should be the best version of yourself, without going overboard, and without not being genuine. First impressions aren't supposed to be false impressions. 

It's important that when people are genuinely interested in meeting someone with pure intentions, and long term motives, they act authentic and as themselves. We shouldn't waste other people's time when it comes to dating and getting to know whether or not you're a good match for someone. If your intentions are genuine, pure, and you're being your authentic self, you're going to end up finding what you're looking for a lot sooner than you try to impress someone by showing off or sugar coating things. 

When you have to show off, go overboard, or sugarcoat things in order to impress someone, you're trying too hard. If you feel that someone will want to be with you more if you sugarcoat things or dress them up so to speak, it's a complete waste of time for you and the other person. Impress people with the truth, and with who you really are! It's important to be authentic in life, and not just when it comes to dating someone. I specifically wrote this article about dating, because it seems that it's become a bigger issue amongst singles these days. 

If you really want someone to love you for you, then you need to be authentic and act as yourself. There's no need to put on an act. If someone's going to like and love you for all of the right reasons, don't stall the process by sugarcoating anything. Let someone fall in love with you for you, and not some version of you. These days on most people's must-have lists, they're writing, "I want someone that's going to be real, genuine, and authentic." 

Let me ask my readers this. 

When you read that statement, were you shocked, surprised, or simply used to the fact that this is something on most people's must-have lists?

Think about this for a second. 

Shouldn't this be something that goes without saying? 

When did being fake and lying become so common in the dating scene? 

Being authentic should be an obvious must-have, and not something that should even need to be said. We're talking about being genuine folks. It's almost ludicrous that the dating scene has come to this point where being real and authentic needs to be on our must-have lists. Kind of crazy if you'd ask me. 

No one should have to dig, and search to find out who the real you is. If you're the person that sugarcoating who you are, how you act, or even what you do for a living, you're stalling your own process for finding your true love. Someone that would be considered to be your true love would never judge you for not being perfect. If anything, your soulmate, your other half, and your future partner in life (that I'm sure you're going to choose if you're smart) will love you for you, the authentic version of you, the only version that there should be of you, and they're likely even going to adore your imperfections. 

Be with someone who's going to "get" you, love you, and adore the heck out of who you are when you're being truly authentic. Don't let the fake, manipulative, user types of people make you feel the need to dress up who you really are. You should never care what other people think to the extent where you put on an act or a show to try and seem more impressive. 

Don't get me wrong, it's important to have good table manners and to act as a lady or a gentleman. But, when it comes to putting on a front or having a guard up so to speak, and making people have to search endlessly before you let that guard down and be the real you, it's going to be hard to connect with anyone on a deeper level. If you want someone to really embrace who you are, develop feelings for you that are genuine, and love you for you, then you have to be authentic, let go, and be yourself.

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