The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Friday, July 28, 2017

The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars of the foundation, and they are what holds everything together. The analogy that I've always used to describe what's important in a relationship is referring to a relationship as the cake. The cake is the foundation. The frosting is great, but without the cake, the frosting is just frosting. There won't be any substance without the cake. In other words, the cake is the foundation and it's essential to have, just like the fundamentals are in relationships. The frosting I compare to things like being wealthy, looking like a GQ or Victoria's Secret model, or even having certain common interests that aren't necessarily required to make the relationship work. 

Some of these basic fundamentals that are essential to all relationships are honesty, trust, chemistry, and great communication. There are a few others as well, but these are a few of the most important ones if you ask me. It's important that none of these fundamentals are missing when dating someone, in a relationship, and especially when you're married. When it comes to trust not being there in a relationship, because you or your partner had taken that trust for granted, the relationship will likely have turbulence. Depending on how severe of the lie or action of dishonesty, the more turbulent the relationship will be, and the more that the trust will be broken. Unfortunately, sometimes you just can't forgive, and when the glass is broken, it's broken

For some people, trust is a hard thing to regain once you've been lied to or hurt by someone that you love. When someone has lied to you in a relationship, if you're willing to work on regaining that trust with the person, they will have to apologize, admit to their wrongdoing, be remorseful, and make you feel at ease that it won't happen again. Regaining someone's trust is imperative if you want to improve your relationship with one another. You should never take someone's trust for granted in the first place. That's an obvious statement, but once it happens, it happens, and you have two choices. You can either have turbulence in your relationship, be angry and bitter all of the time, and resent them for their dishonesty or you can give them another chance at regaining your trust and starting anew. 

It's important that if you choose to make things work in your relationship and to give your partner another chance at being an honest person and partner to you, then you must do so fully, and with a clean slate, as if nothing ever happened. This can be truly hard to do, as you've already lost trust in the person. However, you can still have a clean slate and give someone a brand-new beginning if you choose to. Having said that, I'd highly recommend doing so with a certain amount of caution. The fact of the matter is, when someone is capable of lying to any extent to someone that they love so dearly, it's likely that they could do it again. Having a forgiving heart is a very powerful and beautiful quality. Depending on how badly your trust was taken for granted, it's not necessarily a bad thing to give second chances in relationships

If you choose to stay with the person that lied to you, you basically need to do so with an open heart and not badger the person that lied to you, but give them a genuine chance at starting over. It's important to give people the benefit of the doubt when in doubt of their honesty, and especially when it's someone that you love. No one likes to be taken advantage of, and especially not by someone that they love. It's important that if you're willing to give your partner another shot at being honest and truthful to you in your relationship, that you do so with a accepting, trusting, loving, and forgiving heart. It's not an easy thing to do. But, if you want to grow from this hardship in your relationship, you have to be willing to let go, forgive, and make peace.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Bumble BFF Offers a New Way to Seek Friendship

The following is a guest post for BumbleBFF:

Today, American women often move long distances to seek jobs or start new businesses. People also marry later in life than they did in the past. This creates a need to find new friends during adulthood. In some ways, technology has made it harder to socialize. It's not easy to begin a conversation when so many people are fully engrossed in their mobile gadgets. Fortunately, these devices can also provide a solution.

Friend-Finding App

Entrepreneur Whitney Wolfe has a tremendously busy life and frequently moves to different cities. She recently realized that business goals had prevented her from establishing any friendships. One of her companies is a popular online dating service known as Bumble. She decided to expand its app so that members could search for new friends as well.

This change didn't only occur as a result of Wolfe's personal observations. Bumble also received many suggestions calling for a feature that would help members locate new friends. Numerous users had searched for people of the same gender or asked for friends on their profiles. Consequently, Bumble BFF was born in 2016.

How it Works

Anyone with a compatible device can join Bumble and use its BFF mode to start a variety of friendships. A member might seek a close friend or just look for someone to bring along when attending parties. Either way, the first step is to obtain Bumble's mobile software from a major app store. It's possible to log in using a Facebook username and password.

To look for friends rather than dates, select "BFF" under "show" in the settings area. This hides a member's personal profile from people who use Bumble for dating purposes. Instead, fellow users who want friends will have the ability to see it. Non-dating conversations appear in green rather than the standard yellow highlighting.

Search Process

Bumble BFF helps people find friends in much the same way as it recommends appropriate dating partners. However, it prioritizes mutual interests and acquaintances when suggesting matches. Users swipe to the left if they're not interested and do the opposite when a person seems appealing. If two members select each other's profiles and swipe to the right, the system prompts them to begin a discussion within one day.

Favorable Results

Does it actually work? Various bloggers and other writers have shared their experiences with this app. The process resembles online dating in some ways. Members must spend some time looking at profiles, and they usually meet a few unsuitable individuals. Nevertheless, people eventually discover one or more desirable long-term friends with similar interests. 

To sum it up, Bumble has successfully adapted an online dating platform to help people develop new friendships. Its BFF feature satisfies the needs of many women who find it difficult to meet people in the workplace or local eateries. An automated matching system and user-specified search criteria combine to expedite the process. This new system was able to quickly attract numerous users because Bumble already had millions of members who joined it for dating purposes.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Staying Focused and on Track - Even When People Try to Weigh You Down

In case you haven't heard of inspiration killers, let me explain who they are. They are people who take you out of your work mode, and tend to kill inspiration. They're the selfish types who consume your time, energy, and completely soak up your positive energy and light. The simple solution: Don't let them! Separate yourselves from those who don't understand that you have a life outside of them and their wants and needs. You don't owe anyone your time or energy, and especially when they're being selfish and unsupportive of you striving towards your goals.

There will always be people that will try to weigh you down or take you out of your work mode. This is why it's imperative to stay focused and on track as much as you possibly can. We all have the power to take control of our lives, and to create space from those who try to hold us back in any way. You should only surround yourself with people that will be understanding, loving, and truly want you to succeed in life. Anyone who doesn't understand that you have priorities in life, isn't respecting you the way that they should. Like I said, surround yourself with people who will understand that you have different priorities that at times might come first. 

It's important to have goals in life, and to work hard and be determined towards attaining them. When we make the time for all of our priorities, then nothing gets left behind. But when we don't make things priorities, when we put them aside, or postpone them for later, nothing will ever get done. Everything that's important to you in life should be treated as a priority. This is also relevant when it comes to relationships, because you should put aside designated time for family, friends, and your love life if that's something that you hope to attain. 

You should be dedicated to everything that's important to you, and you should treat all of those things and people as priorities. But when someone isn't understanding of the fact that you are merely one person, and can only focus on one thing at a time, they're taking you down a negative path, but you have the power not to let them. To those types of people that you might have in your life, communicate your feelings to them and let them know how much you care, but also that you need to have certain boundaries, and they should be understanding of them. 

Don't ever let others make you feel bad for having other priorities or being too busy at different times. No one should make you feel bad when you're too busy or don't have the time for them. But if you care about people enough, and you want them in your life, then you should treat them as a priority and make the time for them when you're free. In other words, do what you have to do, and take care of your priorities, but also make the time for your other priorities as well. 

Truly successful people wake up early, are determined, focused, and go after what they want. And they don't let others hold them back in any way. So if you want to be truly successful in your life, remember to stay focused and go after what you want, but also make sure that you're treating everything of value to you as a priority. Having enough balance in your life can be truly helpful as well. You see, part of having a balanced life is making the time for all of your priorities, so that everything gets done. But just remember, one of the best ways of being able to maintain focus towards things that you view as important in your life, is by surrounding yourself with people that will be supportive and understanding of what you're doing and what you're trying to accomplish.

Monday, December 12, 2016

When Couples Forget What Matters the Most

Sometimes they make little things a big deal. We do so, because in particular moments we might feel that some things really are a big deal. But in that very moment, a lot of times we forget what's really important, and we lose focus, forgetting have sacred and beautiful we want our relationship to be. We forget that happiness and feeling in love is the most important thing to us at times, and this is why I wrote this article. 

We should always appreciate the things that we have in life and focus on that much more so, than we think of all of the things that we lack or on those things that we haven't yet attained. When we focus on the positive, and concentrate on all of the beautiful and good things in our lives, and on the things that we have, Will be happier in our current state, and in each moment. If we're busy focusing on the future too much, and to the point where it takes away from the now, and in this very moment that we're living and breathing, we'll never be happy. 

It's always a good idea to nip things in the bud, and to address issues early on, rather than save them and address them all at once, because that will likely end up being like an explosion. Imploding your feelings and concerns is never the way to go. It's always best to address issues one by one and as things happen. That way nothing becomes a bigger deal than it needs to be. As well, it's also important to try not to make big issues out of on important matters. And in order to do that, we have to know and understand what truly matters to us most. It's never a good thing when someone complains all of the time or never seems happy with anything, because that will end up not only taking away your happiness as a couple, but it will likely drain you and your partner's energy. 

It's important to pick and choose your battles. Not everything needs to be a battle, and both people in a relationship need to realize that. It's never about winning or losing, and therefore, it's unimportant who wins an argument or was right at the end of the day. What's important is that you address issues early on, and that not everything becomes an issue because the truth is, nothing is really that big of a deal in the end. 

The most important thing in a relationship is to feel happy, and for your partner to feel happy, and for your relationship to thrive in that state of happiness not just for the moment, but for a lifetime. And the only way to get to that point, is by not making everything a big deal, by being easy-going, and by addressing issues early on instead of sweeping things under the rug. Don't be afraid to hash things out and to work on your issues, because that's how relationships improve. Good things take hard work, and if you want great results and then ultimately successful relationship for the long term, then you have to be willing to put in the hard work, effort, and love that it takes to make it work. 

Sunday, December 4, 2016

When Your Partner Doesn't Feel Your Love

No one should ever be made to feel that they're hard to love. If you're in a relationship where the person tells you that not only are you hard to love, but as if the way that they're loving you never seems to get through to you, or doesn't seem adequate enough, just know that there are other reasons for why that's happening, and it's not necessarily your fault or even true. You're not hard to love. The right person is going to love and adore you just the way that you are, and they'll never, and I mean never view you as difficult to love. 

We all want to feel loved in the way that works for us as individuals, and where we'll feel loved the most. Does that make sense to you? You see, each of us feels and embraces love in a different manner. This is why it's so imperative to be direct, and have great communication with the person that you're with, and to let them know what makes you feel loved the most. 

You can't expect that someone is going to automatically know how you want to be loved, unless you're going to be willing to tell them. Having great communication is everything if you want to have a healthy relationship. And when it comes to loving a person the way that they want to be loved, the only way to know how, is to ask the person directly. Oh, and they should ask you as well. You might feel loved an entirely different way.

Relationships are all about learning what the other person likes, dislikes, and what works for them and makes them feel loved. You have to be willing to treat each and every new relationship as if there were a blank, clean slate, and not bring your own ideas, thoughts, and assumptions are from what you've experienced previously into this new relationship. No one wants to be loved exactly like your ex might have. You can't expect that the person that you're with will want to be treated in the same manner or even loved in the same way that your ex might have. 

We are all unique and beautiful individuals, and should be treated as such. Therefore, if you're in a relationship and the person feels that you're hard to love, then one of two things is likely occurring. Either they're not loving you in a way that works for you and makes you feel loved, or they're not the right match for you. Either way, don't get down or upset about it. Just try to communicate your feelings to your partner and see if you can resolve these issues, and whether or not they're open to loving you in a way in which you'll feel their love more.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Spread Love, Kindness, and Stop the Hate

You give what you get in life. This is something that we all need to realize. If you want love, then you need to give love. If you want to get a certain type of treatment from others, then you need to be able to give that type of treatment back. But if you're going to be a hypocrite, do nothing, be selfish, and only think of your own feelings, then not much good is going to come from it. 

We all have a choice to think before we act, and to be selfless and giving towards others. It's all in our own hands. We all have a choice to make wise decisions, and to choose good over evil. One way love doesn't exist, and it's time that we all start realizing that it takes two to make a difference in this world. 

You can't change other people, so if someone isn't giving you kind or loving treatment when you've been kind to them, then you need to recognize that situation for what it is, and accept that person for how they are, and exclude them from your life. You shouldn't waste your time with hateful, negative, or toxic people. And you should never wait for others to be giving, selfless, or loving to you, before you act kind and loving yourself. 

Concentrate on your own actions, and be first when it comes to displaying your love and kindness. Set an example, and take the lead. Don't wait for others to make the first move, because many times people are afraid and live their life based on the fear of not being accepted or loved. Spread love, kindness, and do things without having an ulterior motive. Do sweet gestures and kind acts just because. Don't do things that are kind, simply because you want kind things done for you in return. Have pure intentions and loving motives when it comes to being selfless and giving. 

Make a stand, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. Each one of us can make a big difference in this world for the better if we all focus more of our attention on how we act and think, rather than waiting for someone else to make a change. If each one of us spreads love and kindness, instead of hate, then this world will become how it should be, a beautiful place to live in and embrace. Let's all do our part.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

The Power of Appreciation on Thanksgiving

One of the best ways of finding happiness in life is to appreciate the things that we have, as opposed to the things that we lack. If we spend our time thinking about all of those little things that we want in life, but either don't have them or perhaps they're certain goals that we haven't yet achieved, we're basically not living in the moment, or enjoying life to the fullest. 

The amount of happiness that we have each and every day is all based on our perception and how we feel about things, and whether or not we appreciate them. If we start focusing on all of the positive things that we have in life, then we'll all be a little bit happier. One of the biggest problems that we all have in which takes away so much of our happiness is that we're always worrying. We have endless concerns about things, which many times, we don't even have control over. 

It's important not to rush things in life or to want things before you're ready to have them. Some of the best things in life take time to develop, patience, and simply having a positive outlook. Try to embrace all of the good things in your life, and enjoy the moment, each day, and all of the little things that go on in your life. The more thankful and appreciative that we are about the little things that we have in life, the more that we'll be whole and a complete person. As well, if we appreciate what we have, we'll be more apt to take on different challenges, and we'll have so so more enthusiasm towards striving towards our goals.

Having a positive outlook is imperative for each and every one of us, and that's why we need to focus on the positives in life, and not avoid the negatives, or ignore them by any means, but more so, we should simply be appreciative of all of the good things in our life and acknowledge them. When we don't appreciate things enough, we tend to lose them or they tend to not be maintained in their best manner. This goes from everything from relationships to your personal belongings, or even in regards to how you look in your appearance. 

If we take care of ourselves and love ourselves enough, it's a way of appreciating how we are, and how we look. You see, when we appreciate how we look, we tend to take better care of ourselves. Be thankful for all of the things that you have in life, and remember on this Thanksgiving Day, as well as any other day of the year, you should be thankful for what you have and concentrate on those things, as opposed to what you lack. Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.