Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The Fuel to Fight Even Harder

There will be people in life that don't believe in you, that don't think you have a chance at succeeding, or that don't even want you to succeed for that matter. Those types of people are negative and toxic and you shouldn't keep them around in your life. You shouldn't be friends with people that are negative and unsupportive. But those are also the very same types of people that will bring you down, distract you, make you feel inadequate, and as if you're not good enough. 

No one needs those types of people around when they're working hard towards getting what they want in life. That's why we should ignore them, and cut out their noise. Get your head straight and start living your life in a way that what others say doesn't even phase you, let alone kill your enthusiasm. Don't give people so much control over your emotions, and never to the point where it negatively affects you.

Not everyone in life is going to want you to succeed. Some people feel so inadequate with their own lives, that they want to take you down with them. That's why they say that "misery loves company." We all have the power to surround ourselves with positive people that are enlightened and kind hearted. There's no room in anyone's world to have family, friends, or even acquaintances that are negative. And we should be strong enough not to listen to the negative opinions of others. You should distance yourself with negative and toxic people as much as you possibly can. 

We all need to be resilient and strong enough to the point where what others say doesn't affect us. At least not in a negative way. When people are truly motivated, driven, and resilient, they'll not only be O.K. with listening to negative feedback or criticism, but they'll use it as fuel, and work even harder towards getting what they want in life. But then again, there are many people that are weak and unable to connect with their resilient side, and those are the types that end up feeling down, depressed, and deflated, and they might even stop going after their goals because of it. 

It's important not to let others bring you down. But we can't control the actions of others, only our own. Having said that, more importantly than not letting others bring us down, we should feel enough inner strength, resilience, and drive towards getting what we want that nothing anyone says can harm us. We should naturally feel the desire to go after what we want even more when we're criticized. And when people don't believe in us, it's almost as if that should be enough fuel to work even harder towards our goals, even if it's simply just to prove them wrong. 

It doesn't really matter what you use as fuel, as long as it motivates you and gets you to where you want to be. But the type of fuel that you get when someone doesn't believe in you, is the type that many people in this world have become truly successful from. Nothing feels better than becoming successful, getting to the top, and being exactly where you've wanted to be all your life. But getting there takes hard work, determination, and the will to succeed. 

You can't give up when things get hard, when you're faced with challenges, when there are bumps in the road, or even when people don't believe in you. If you want anything bad enough in life, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it, and then be willing to work hard towards maintaining it. The truth is, who cares what people think. If you want anything bad enough, you need to overcome the noise and negativity that others might give you, and keep go after what you want.

Monday, December 12, 2016

When Couples Forget What Matters the Most

Sometimes they make little things a big deal. We do so, because in particular moments we might feel that some things really are a big deal. But in that very moment, a lot of times we forget what's really important, and we lose focus, forgetting have sacred and beautiful we want our relationship to be. We forget that happiness and feeling in love is the most important thing to us at times, and this is why I wrote this article. 

We should always appreciate the things that we have in life and focus on that much more so, than we think of all of the things that we lack or on those things that we haven't yet attained. When we focus on the positive, and concentrate on all of the beautiful and good things in our lives, and on the things that we have, Will be happier in our current state, and in each moment. If we're busy focusing on the future too much, and to the point where it takes away from the now, and in this very moment that we're living and breathing, we'll never be happy. 

It's always a good idea to nip things in the bud, and to address issues early on, rather than save them and address them all at once, because that will likely end up being like an explosion. Imploding your feelings and concerns is never the way to go. It's always best to address issues one by one and as things happen. That way nothing becomes a bigger deal than it needs to be. As well, it's also important to try not to make big issues out of on important matters. And in order to do that, we have to know and understand what truly matters to us most. It's never a good thing when someone complains all of the time or never seems happy with anything, because that will end up not only taking away your happiness as a couple, but it will likely drain you and your partner's energy. 

It's important to pick and choose your battles. Not everything needs to be a battle, and both people in a relationship need to realize that. It's never about winning or losing, and therefore, it's unimportant who wins an argument or was right at the end of the day. What's important is that you address issues early on, and that not everything becomes an issue because the truth is, nothing is really that big of a deal in the end. 

The most important thing in a relationship is to feel happy, and for your partner to feel happy, and for your relationship to thrive in that state of happiness not just for the moment, but for a lifetime. And the only way to get to that point, is by not making everything a big deal, by being easy-going, and by addressing issues early on instead of sweeping things under the rug. Don't be afraid to hash things out and to work on your issues, because that's how relationships improve. Good things take hard work, and if you want great results and then ultimately successful relationship for the long term, then you have to be willing to put in the hard work, effort, and love that it takes to make it work. 

Monday, December 5, 2016

Feeling Motivated, Bigly, Bigly

We all get motivated by different things. But unfortunately, sometimes we let people take ahold of our emotions to the point where we give them the power to deflate our mood, and make us feel bad. When we give people the power to change the way that we feel and to bring us from a good and happy mood where we feel uplifted, motivated, optimistic, and full of positive energy to a place where we feel little to no enthusiasm, and all around, in a really bad mood, we'll end up feeling miserable. 

Nothing feels worse than when you start your day off in a bad mood. We all have a choice every day whether or not we want to be in a good mood or a bad mood. We have to be resilient to the point where we don't let outside influences or even negative people where they themselves are in a bad mood, affect us in a negative manner. It's important to go into each and every day with a positive attitude, where we can strive hard and feel motivated towards becoming successful in whatever we're hoping to achieve in life. 

We should all be able to inspire ourselves. But at times, we get affected by others around us. And we can either get even more inspired than we already feel, or we can let ourselves get negatively influenced, and let ourselves get affected where we lose even our own inspiration. Again, it's important not to let others deflate are positive light, love, and energy. You can never get enough inspiration in life. And if you feel inspired and motivated to do good, or even to conquer the world, and that's your mentality, then never, and I mean never give someone the opportunity or the chance at bringing you down on any level. 

It's important to have a game plan, and not merely to have certain goals. Having goals alone is not enough. Once you have that game plan, then you're going to need to surround yourself with positive people that are also somewhat driven and motivated towards achieving their own goals. It's always better to have friends and family in your life that are going to uplift your spirits, and help motivate you when you're in a rut or feeling less inspired. This is what good friends and family do for one another. And that's why it's always good to have enlightened individuals closer to you.

We should all try to be a little more selfless when it comes to motivating and inspiring others, instead of putting them down when they're in a lazy mood or when they find themselves in their downtime. It's one thing to take a moment to relax, to refresh, rejuvenate, and to take a break once in awhile. And it's another thing, when people start getting lazy, and feeling uninspired or unmotivated when it comes to striving towards their goals. 

The only way to get what you want in life is to go after it. And when you go after what you want, you should feel so driven, that you're nearly on fire, and to the point where you'll stop at nothing until you achieve your goals. We should never give someone the power to take away our drive or momentum. You can never get too much motivation, so if you feel as if surrounding yourself with other motivated people will benefit you, you're most likely right, because to some extent, the people that we surround ourselves with our likely similar to us in different ways, and that's most likely why we're attracted to them in the first place. 

If you want to feel more driven and inspired in life, then develop a certain mentality where you jump out of bed each morning, viewing everything  as an opportunity to take advantage of. Don't think for one second that laying in bed and soaking up a few more minutes will bring you closer towards your goals or that it will leave you feeling more energized and motivated, because it won't. Being lazy, and stalling your day to begin is one bad habit that unfortunately, many of us choose. We can change that, starting now. Wake up, jump out of bed, and turn on your inner fire. Today is going to be a great day... Bigly, bigly.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

When Your Partner Doesn't Feel Your Love

No one should ever be made to feel that they're hard to love. If you're in a relationship where the person tells you that not only are you hard to love, but as if the way that they're loving you never seems to get through to you, or doesn't seem adequate enough, just know that there are other reasons for why that's happening, and it's not necessarily your fault or even true. You're not hard to love. The right person is going to love and adore you just the way that you are, and they'll never, and I mean never view you as difficult to love. 

We all want to feel loved in the way that works for us as individuals, and where we'll feel loved the most. Does that make sense to you? You see, each of us feels and embraces love in a different manner. This is why it's so imperative to be direct, and have great communication with the person that you're with, and to let them know what makes you feel loved the most. 

You can't expect that someone is going to automatically know how you want to be loved, unless you're going to be willing to tell them. Having great communication is everything if you want to have a healthy relationship. And when it comes to loving a person the way that they want to be loved, the only way to know how, is to ask the person directly. Oh, and they should ask you as well. You might feel loved an entirely different way.

Relationships are all about learning what the other person likes, dislikes, and what works for them and makes them feel loved. You have to be willing to treat each and every new relationship as if there were a blank, clean slate, and not bring your own ideas, thoughts, and assumptions are from what you've experienced previously into this new relationship. No one wants to be loved exactly like your ex might have. You can't expect that the person that you're with will want to be treated in the same manner or even loved in the same way that your ex might have. 

We are all unique and beautiful individuals, and should be treated as such. Therefore, if you're in a relationship and the person feels that you're hard to love, then one of two things is likely occurring. Either they're not loving you in a way that works for you and makes you feel loved, or they're not the right match for you. Either way, don't get down or upset about it. Just try to communicate your feelings to your partner and see if you can resolve these issues, and whether or not they're open to loving you in a way in which you'll feel their love more.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Spread Love, Kindness, and Stop the Hate

You give what you get in life. This is something that we all need to realize. If you want love, then you need to give love. If you want to get a certain type of treatment from others, then you need to be able to give that type of treatment back. But if you're going to be a hypocrite, do nothing, be selfish, and only think of your own feelings, then not much good is going to come from it. 

We all have a choice to think before we act, and to be selfless and giving towards others. It's all in our own hands. We all have a choice to make wise decisions, and to choose good over evil. One way love doesn't exist, and it's time that we all start realizing that it takes two to make a difference in this world. 

You can't change other people, so if someone isn't giving you kind or loving treatment when you've been kind to them, then you need to recognize that situation for what it is, and accept that person for how they are, and exclude them from your life. You shouldn't waste your time with hateful, negative, or toxic people. And you should never wait for others to be giving, selfless, or loving to you, before you act kind and loving yourself. 

Concentrate on your own actions, and be first when it comes to displaying your love and kindness. Set an example, and take the lead. Don't wait for others to make the first move, because many times people are afraid and live their life based on the fear of not being accepted or loved. Spread love, kindness, and do things without having an ulterior motive. Do sweet gestures and kind acts just because. Don't do things that are kind, simply because you want kind things done for you in return. Have pure intentions and loving motives when it comes to being selfless and giving. 

Make a stand, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. Each one of us can make a big difference in this world for the better if we all focus more of our attention on how we act and think, rather than waiting for someone else to make a change. If each one of us spreads love and kindness, instead of hate, then this world will become how it should be, a beautiful place to live in and embrace. Let's all do our part.

Why Rejection Isn't the the Worst Thing

We all want to feel loved by someone. And not just anyone. We all want that one special love that's going to love us the way that we want to be loved. Not everyone is capable or is going to be willing to love us the way that we need or desire. That's why it's important never to settle for the wrong person or someone that's just a temporary type of love. We all deserve to have a unique love, and of love that's only meant for us. 

Not everyone is meant to be yours, and only for you. And just because you might have developed feelings for someone, they might not return those feelings, and it might hurt. It usually does to some degree, and especially, when you've developed feelings for them. That's why it's important to always try to be on the same page as someone that you're dating or interested in. The best method for doing that is by taking things slowly, and instead of reading into situations, assuming what someone might be feeling or thinking, you maintain a direct and honest approach. 

We have to be able to accept rejection in life, and that goes for in love as well. When someone rejects you or isn't interested in you, it's important to be able to take it with a grain of rice so to speak. You should only want to be loved and adored by a person that's willing to love and adore you back. 

Don't let yourself get caught up with intense and passionate feelings for someone, when you don't know whether or not they even like you, let alone love you and feel the same way. Always try to be on the same page as the person that you're dating, so that your love will be balanced. Go at a healthy pace where you can both equally develop feelings for one another, and where you'll know that you're on the same page. 

Having said all of the above, you should know that rejection happens, and despite the fact that it's sometimes or perhaps usually a hard pill to swallow, we need to not only accept that at times someone might not love us back, but we need to be more than O.K. with it. When someone doesn't want us in the same manner in which we want them, we need to be strong, resilient, and know that the right person will eventually come into our lives, and it will be for keeps. 

More than anything, when someone rejects us, we tend to close our hearts, and build emotional walls and barriers whether on a conscious or unconscious level. And that's one of the worst things that we can do to ourselves. You see, it's imperative to have an open heart. And even when we get hurt or let down by someone, because that's the very moment in which we should find resilience and become even stronger. 

Closing the door to your beautiful open heart, and not letting anyone in, makes it so that they don't see who the real you is. And the real you is a beautiful person. It's the person that the right person is going to fall in love with. But not when you close up your heart. You have to be approachable, and willing to embrace love. And part of embracing love is being willing to risk getting hurt, putting your heart on the line, and risking for it to get hurt or even shattered. But never, and I mean never close up your heart or build those emotional walls, because it will end up with you not being open to the love of your life when it actually does appear. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

When Overthinking Ruins a Good Thing

It's important for any new relationship to have the best chance at surviving. And in order for a relationship to last and be successful, it's important that both people concentrate on all of the good things that they see in their partner, and that they share as a couple. Concentrating on the things that your partner or your relationship lacks definitely won't help. Many times, one big mistake that couples make is dissecting every little thing in their relationship, and to the point where they overthink every little flaw or quality that they feel is lacking. This is one of the worst things that couples can do and that usually tends to destroy a relationship before it even has a chance. 

Couples should always look out for red flags or certain things that they know they can't live with in another person. However, as much as acknowledging red flags is imperative so that you know when to end a situation, it's also important to be aware of the simple differences that you have, because after all, if you're dating someone with marital intentions and hoping that your relationship will grow over time into something more, then you're likely going to want to be with your best possible match. That's going to take being compatible on as many levels as possible, so it's important to look out for when you have too many differences with one another. 

Having said that, expecting perfection in another person is wrong. And when we expect a person or situation to be perfect, we tend to look for the flaws, and sometimes we even subconsciously dissect the other person or the relationship, and overthink things to the point where we create issues that aren't, when really, those things aren't really such a big deal in the long run. It's never good to over-think things, because you'll likely end up driving yourself crazy, and maybe even driving your partner crazy as well. 

It's important to be realistic and to know what you want, what works for you, and what doesn't in a relationship. You should have some sort of idea of what you're looking for in a match. And there's never a good reason to settle for less than what you want. However, you can't expect to find a partner in life that's going to have every little characteristic or attribute that you're looking for. Make a list of a few things that are crucial for you to have in a partner, and once you have those few basic things, then you should concentrate on those positive qualities, and take things from there. Don't read into your partner's words or actions, and if you ever have any doubts or questions from something that your partner said or did, simply ask them, and be direct while doing so. But no matter what, never read into things and then start overthinking things to the point where everything will turn out to be a disaster. 

Another thing that couples do that ends up being a big issue when it comes to overthinking things, is that they tend to take a nearly perfect situation, and a partner that truly is a wonderful match for them, and they destroy the whole thing by nitpicking every little detail. Being picky and knowing what you want is one thing, but when you get to the point of nitpicking and dissecting every little thing that your partner does and says, it's another. Those kinds of actions can be truly toxic and detrimental for the relationship. Remember, having great communication is everything, and if you really want to situation to work out, it's better not to overthink things too much and to just go with the flow. After all, when a relationship is truly a good one, things tend to naturally flow to a certain extent. Therefore, you shouldn't really have to overthink things and you should more so, just try to enjoy the moment as much as you can. 

Monday, November 28, 2016

Being Present, and Living in the Moment

One of the biggest issues that people have in relationships is that they're not present, in the moment, or truly embracing what's going on what's being said while it's happening. Instead, many times couples block out their partner, the voice, and what's being said, and they do so for many different reasons. Sometimes, people tune out their partner, feeling as if they understood them already and even before they finished talking. Sometimes, they do so because they talk a lot, or maybe it's because they have other things on their mind. As well, many times people are trying to think of what they're going to say in response to the other person, while the other person is still talking. 

It's important to be fair in relationships and to give your partner your full attention as much as possible. Many times people do things like talk on the phone, text, go on the Internet, or multitask by walking around and staying busy while their partner is talking. And they might even tell their partner that they're listening to them talk, despite the fact that they keep moving around or doing something else at the same time. This is a truly bad approach in relationships, because you're taking away a certain type of love that you should be giving to your partner. And with all honesty, I can tell you that this approach isn't the way to go, and it needs to change. 

Whatever you're doing in life, you should do it fully and with your entire being, your whole heart, and never halfway. You should be giving all of your love and attention to what you're doing in the moment. Whether you're talking to someone, or listening, giving your full attention is a must. Take this advice and put it into action, and do so, whether it's in regards to your relationships, your business, or anything else that's important to you. Things that are of importance to you must have your full and undivided attention if you want the best results. 

You need to make everything that's important to you in life a priority. You need to live in the moment, be present, and care about what you're doing when you're doing it, and to the fullest extent possible. No one should have to deal with a partner that says they're listening to them, while their multitasking doing a million other little things. If you truly love and care about someone or something enough, you'll make the time and give them your full attention when needed. No one enjoys feeling as if their partner is tuning them out, ignoring them, or not really listening or interested in what they have to say. People feel loved when they feel heard and when you make the time to listen.

Don't get me wrong though, because some people act very needy and overly consuming and that will end up draining both people eventually, where no one gets anything done, and the relationship definitely won't thrive, let alone be happy. Therefore, it's important to know the difference, to be fair, and as long as no one is trying to dominate, control, or smother the other person by being overly needy, then you should try to be considerate of one another and give each other your full attention. And remember, we should all be living in the moment, and being present so that not only our partner feels heard, but so that our partner feels truly loved and adored. 

Thursday, November 24, 2016

The Power of Appreciation on Thanksgiving

One of the best ways of finding happiness in life is to appreciate the things that we have, as opposed to the things that we lack. If we spend our time thinking about all of those little things that we want in life, but either don't have them or perhaps they're certain goals that we haven't yet achieved, we're basically not living in the moment, or enjoying life to the fullest. 

The amount of happiness that we have each and every day is all based on our perception and how we feel about things, and whether or not we appreciate them. If we start focusing on all of the positive things that we have in life, then we'll all be a little bit happier. One of the biggest problems that we all have in which takes away so much of our happiness is that we're always worrying. We have endless concerns about things, which many times, we don't even have control over. 

It's important not to rush things in life or to want things before you're ready to have them. Some of the best things in life take time to develop, patience, and simply having a positive outlook. Try to embrace all of the good things in your life, and enjoy the moment, each day, and all of the little things that go on in your life. The more thankful and appreciative that we are about the little things that we have in life, the more that we'll be whole and a complete person. As well, if we appreciate what we have, we'll be more apt to take on different challenges, and we'll have so so more enthusiasm towards striving towards our goals.

Having a positive outlook is imperative for each and every one of us, and that's why we need to focus on the positives in life, and not avoid the negatives, or ignore them by any means, but more so, we should simply be appreciative of all of the good things in our life and acknowledge them. When we don't appreciate things enough, we tend to lose them or they tend to not be maintained in their best manner. This goes from everything from relationships to your personal belongings, or even in regards to how you look in your appearance. 

If we take care of ourselves and love ourselves enough, it's a way of appreciating how we are, and how we look. You see, when we appreciate how we look, we tend to take better care of ourselves. Be thankful for all of the things that you have in life, and remember on this Thanksgiving Day, as well as any other day of the year, you should be thankful for what you have and concentrate on those things, as opposed to what you lack. Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Go After What You Want

When we feel lazy, and we don't go after what we want in life, not only won't we get it or achieve great things, but it's almost as if we're taking a backseat to our own life. If you're not going to be the driver in your own life, and have goals and ambitions, and create your own destiny, then who else will. There's no one out there that's going to do the hard work for you. No one will go after the goals that you want in life which will lead you to succeed. It just won't happen - it's that simple. 

If you want anything bad enough in life, you have to be willing to put in the hard work, to pay your dues, and to go after it. Don't delay or postpone going after your goals, because that's postponing getting to where you want to be in life. Besides, postponing things that you want to happen right away, will leave you feeling down, depressed, and as if you're at a standstill. Nothing feels worse than feeling as if you're doing nothing with your life.

Nothing's going to happen or change in your life for the better, if you keep doing the same things over and over again. This is why we need to have variety. We need to try new things, explore different paths, and make sure that we stay focused, driven, and motivated towards achieving our goals. Laziness truly kills. We need to learn how to motivate ourselves into stronger and more resilient individuals. We need to understand the concept of wake up, get up, and go. Stop laying in bed, looking at the ceiling, while you could be motivating yourself to go, go, go!

There are endless things that we can do to get inspired like reading quotes, or even daily inspiration articles, and things of the sort, but whether or not you're the type of person that likes to read quotes or listen to inspirational speeches of some sort, you're able to become inspired all on your own. This is just something that we all need to realize in order to be great. We're all capable of so much in life, but if we act lazy or unmotivated and feed into that lousy short term light gratification of laying around for too long, nothing good is going to come out of it. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

6 Important Things to Remember If You're Dating Someone Who Is Emotionally Unavailable

Being able to connect with your partner is essential in a healthy relationship. Relationships that are one-sided in any way, won't work. If you're unable to let go of your past or if you have wounds from a previous heartache, deal with it on your own, and don't think of yourself as "single and ready to mingle," because let me tell you, you're not ready, you're just single.

1. Stop Dating Them

If you're willing to date someone that you know is emotionally unavailable or commitmentphobic, you likely either have a low self-esteem, you're drawn to the person because you, yourself have issues with commitment, you have a self-destructive personality, or perhaps the reason is because you like "the challenge" and want to be with the person because you enjoy "the chase." Never date someone that's emotionally unavailable and disconnected. Doing so will leave you feeling unhappy, miserable, confused, lonely, and you'll likely end up being the one that gets hurt in the end.

2. Don't Try to Fix Them 

You're not a saviour. Relationships shouldn't have to involve you having to fix anyone. Someone that's emotionally unavailable isn't broken, they're just unable to connect on an emotional level. They not only need to be self-aware enough to realize that they have a problem, but they need to  be willing to change. You cannot and should not even try to change them - it's not your job. And unless they're willing to work on themselves and bring down their emotional barriers, they'll never be able to fall in love - not with you, and not with anyone, even themselves.

3. Don't Change Yourself

You are not the problem. Just keep telling yourself that, and remember never to blame yourself for why the other person is acting the way that they do. Don't change how you act, how you look, or what you feel is right versus wrong. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and respect yourself enough to walk away from a toxic and dead-end situation. But definitely, don't change in order to please someone that's emotionally unavailable and disconnected. Just be you, stay you, and continue about your journey in the best way that you know how. Changing yourself will only take away from your true inner beauty, and besides, an emotionally unavailable person will never be satisfied with any changes that you make. And if anything, an emotionally unavailable person is the one that needs to do the changing. 

4. Don't Walk on Eggshells

Don't change who you are at your core. You should never have to feel fear in a healthy relationship. There's never a good reason for you or anyone to have to walk on eggshells or to be afraid of acting as themselves or of doing and saying certain things. Don't let someone that's emotionally unavailable direct your relationship or run the show, because until they fix themselves, they won't be able to even direct their own life, let alone, your relationship, or "the whole show." No one deserves to live in fear, and it's very common for emotionally unavailable people to project their hardened and emotionally disconnected hearts onto their partner, their date, or just others in general. Just remember, loving, happy, and healthy relationships take a certain amount of connecting, and feeling a sense of emotional closeness is essential if you want your relationship to thrive.

5. Don't Make Excuses for Them

Don't make excuses for their bad behaviour. People only deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt when they don't have a track record. Someone that's emotionally unavailable is sitting on a large and fat track record. Someone that's emotionally unavailable shouldn't even be in a relationship, let alone to deserve such a sweet partner that would make excuses for them, believe in them, feel hope, and stick around as their ship sinks. Don't stick around! And stop making excuses for them... If they flake on you, if they're busy, or if they have so many other things going on, it's still not an excuse to accept being treated poorly. Don't accept some lousy and flimsy type of excuse as to why they're not being close with you.

6. Don't Let Them Blame You

You're not a doormat. You're not a backseat. Remember this... you ride shotgun in your relationship. I don't care whether you're riding shotgun or you're the driver, but you should never settle for anyone that makes you feel as if you get the "privilege" of sitting in the backseat, and that your feelings don't matter. Hey! You're a priority and should be treated like one. Love and respect yourself enough not to let someone treat you as an option. Someone that's emotionally unavailable will tend to take advantage of the person that their dating, and many times, without even realize it. They tend to be selfish, and to only think of themselves and their own feelings.  

Monday, October 24, 2016

Why You Should Be Authentic and Show Your Emotional Side

When it comes to dating or exploring a new relationship, one of the best things that I'd suggest is to be authentic and act like yourself. Many times people put on a front or show some version of themselves that isn't the real them. There should only be one version of yourself. That's the version that you should be and act like on your date. 

Something that I've always said, and I'm sure many of you can relate to, is the fact that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. Another thing that I've always said is that, I'm not afraid to lose someone that I don't have. Having said this, I want you all to take a moment to think about the person that you're dating and getting to know, and ask yourself, "Are you acting like you're authentic self and being the real you?" 

If someone doesn't like you for you, then you're wasting your time. You should be with someone that likes who you are without you having to put on an act or try to impress them. Relationships where people don't act like themselves don't have a very good chance at working out. Don't worry about the fact that the other person "might not like you" if you act like yourself, because that just means that they're not right for you, and you should want to be with your best possible match, not just a good match or a great catch. 

If you're afraid to act like yourself because you know how you are, and you think that you're a very emotional personyou need to stop right there. Being your authentic self is everything when it comes to starting something new. You need to like yourself and embrace that you're an emotional person. My personal preference would always rather be with someone that's emotional and passionateas long as they don't have a bad temper. 

When someone isn't afraid to show their emotions and wears their heart on their sleeve, it's one of the most beautiful things. I mean, my goodness, my children look at me and embrace who I am, and how emotional I get even when I'm watching a silly cartoon commercial. Being emotional is a beautiful thing, and you should never be afraid to show that side of you, because the right person will love that part of you, and never want to change it. Remember, it's those little idiosyncrasies and personality traits that are exclusively yours, and that make you who you are. And those are the very same characteristics that the right match for you is going to love, adore, and embrace. 

How Overthinking Things Can Destroy New Beginnings

When you start dating someone new, it's always good to try to think positive thoughts, and to be as optimistic as possible. However, many of us struggle with overthinking things in regards to the little details of what he or she said to us, or even when it comes to the situation at hand. Overthinking can cause a tremendous amount of damage and unhappiness if you let it. This is why it's so important to live in the moment, relax a little, and embrace the opportunity and chance at getting to know someone new. 

The problem is that some of us forget to relax, enjoy the moment, or even breathe for that matter. We waste our time thinking and thinking until the point that we literally can't breathe at times. And it's mostly from the stress that we're causing ourselves. Over-thinking can destroy every bit of our happiness and at the same time, we tend to miss out on all the enjoyment that we could be experiencing with the other person. It's important not to let our minds take control in our relationships. But instead, to enjoy the experience, and embrace how you feel, what the person says, and enjoy your time together, as opposed to overthinking things and torturing yourself from within. 

When we overthink things in relationships, we tend to dissect things, instead of enjoy them. The whole point in life is happiness and if your relationship is going to stress you out, it's not worth it. If you have doubts about a person and that's what's causing you to overthink things, then obviously you need to take a step back and think about the situation. But what you shouldn't do is overthink things to the point where you feel unhappy and stressed out. If you do, the end result will likely be unhappiness, and I'm sure that that's the last thing that anyone would want. 

Remember to stay positive and enjoy your partner. And if you aren't the right match for one another, you'll find out soon enough. But if you're going to spend your time during the early dating period analyzing, dissecting, and overthinking things, you're going to create a lot of unnecessary anxiety and misery for yourself, which will likely be very destructive towards you, the other person, and your relationship. 

Try not to read into things, and especially because it will likely drive you nuts if you do. If you have any questions or concerns in regards to your partner, or the person that you're dating or in a relationship with, ask them, and speak your mind. Don't be afraid to tell the person what's on your mind and in your thoughts. If you have something on your chest that's bugging you, the only way to relieve yourself is to get it out, so speak up! Just remember to be kind and sweet when you say whatever it is that's on your mind, because as the good old saying goes, you get much more with honey than vinegar. But at the same time, remember not to hold in what you're thinking or feeling, because that's one of the biggest ways why we tend to overthink things. 

Monday, October 17, 2016

The Straight Arrow Path to Success

We would all like to get to the top and successful. But it takes hard work, effort, and that "go get it" factor. We need drive to succeed, and that fire to burn our buns, in order to get what we want in life. Sitting back, and waiting for things to happen will get you nowhere. If anyone wants anything bad enough, they need to go after it. I decided to create a list of a few essential factors that will make all of the difference on your path to success. But one thing that's imperative to remember, is that to feel truly proud of our accomplishments in life, we must do things the right way morally, and by being a righteous person.

Don't Take Shortcuts:

Do things the right way and in a righteous manner. Don't search for the easy way to get to where you want to be, just because it looks quicker, less stressful, and easier when you know that the path you're thinking I have isn't righteous or morally a good choice. Remember, short term light, usually leads to long-term darkness, so make your decisions carefully, and stay righteous and decent at the same time. 

Value Your Time:

Our time is precious, and we should make things that are important to us priorities, and treat them as such. Postponing things, putting them off, and leaving them for later is never a wise choice if you want to be successful. Pick and choose your break time wisely and what you do with it, because a break shouldn't last for more than a few moments. A break is something that should be experienced once you've accomplished a certain amount of work towards your end goal. 

Choose Supportive Friends or No Friends:

I just surround yourself with no one, or those that have your best interest at heart. Pick and choose your friends wisely, and only bring in those that love, appreciate, support, and value you as a person. Make sure that you avoid bringing in negativity, and any type of toxic person. Toxic people can become a mental, emotional, and psychological disability if you let them. Besides, they'll drain your positive energy until there's nothing left. 

Don't Be a Perfectionist:

If you strive for perfection, don't see it as the main or ending goal. Instead, strive to make things as perfect as possible, but know in the back of your head that there is no such finish line. Many times perfectionist end up being too hard on themselves, and are even unable to accept compliments and what they're achieving, as they strive towards their goals. It's important to genuinely accept compliments and take them to heart. Be happy, proud, yet remaining humble on your journey toward success. Don't expect perfection, just drive to be the best that you can be, and in all that you do. 

Be Healthy and Stay Active:

Don't say that you don't have time for taking good care of yourself, because you do. Everyone needs to make the time for their priorities, and taking care of themselves. Being healthy, and staying active are definite priorities when it comes to being the best that you can be, and in order to put your best foot forward. In order to work hard and to do your best, you need to be in a healthy state of mind, as well as in an emotionally peaceful place. 

Friday, October 14, 2016

Dating Someone Who Isn't Formally Educated

Most people have different requirements that they hope to find in a partner. For some people a big requirement is having a formal education or even degrees of different sorts. For many, not only having a formal education is a must-have, but also having a steady and stable job is imperative. It's important you know what you want in a partner. Having said that, you can't expect to find perfection in anyone or to find every little thing that you hope for in another person. 

There is no complete package, despite how many people praise their partners in relationships. When a person says that their partner is a complete package or even when any random person seems to be, it's usually because they seem that way, and not that they actually are that way. No one is perfect, and again, there is no complete package of perfection. 

When a person has many of the qualities that you're looking for in a match, you may define that as a complete package for you, but the reality is that nothing is perfect, and neither is anyone. When it comes to wanting to be with someone that's highly educated, then you should go after people that are in fact, highly educated, and not waste your time or other people's time, dating around when that requirement isn't there. Nothing's worse than when someone wastes time with a person that isn't educated, knowing that it's a requirement for them to have in a partner. 

For many people though, it's more important for them to with a person that's highly intelligent, and open to learning new things, as opposed to someone that's school smart, or as one would call "well educated." One might even call an educated person highly educated, formally educated, or even scholarly. For many people it's more than adequate enough when their partner is smart, and even streetsmart for that matter. It's important for many, if not most, to be able to communicate with their partner, and at times discuss more intellectual topics. 

How Important Is It for You to Be with Someone who's Formally Educated?

Having an intellectual connection is definitely important to me, and I assume, for many. It's all about what a person's preferences are as to whether or not they feel it's mandatory to have schooling and higher education be the route of their partner's intelligence, as opposed to someone that's merely street smart, and knows the ropes. In other words, ultimately, it's all about what different individual wants in a mate. You should only date people that are open-minded and really interested in dating someone like you, whether you're street smart, or whether you have an elaborate education. 

Last but not least, it's important to remember that you can't change people, and you shouldn't even try to for that matter. If you love everything about a person, except for the fact that they're not well educated or some type of overachiever as you might like, then you shouldn't be going out with them. But definitely, don't ever try to change them to make them into the person that you'd want them to be. It's not only unfair to the person, but it's wrong on your end for giving a chance to a situation that you shouldn't. You should know from the very get-go what's important for you to have in a partner, and you should only date those that are in the realm of what you're looking for. 

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Dating: Know the Depth of Their Soul

It's important to have some idea of what you want in a match. We all look for different things, and we all pretty much hope to find many of those things in a person before we're willing to explore a relationship with them. Whether a person is looking for great chemistry or someone tall, or whether great looks is the last thing on their mind, and they're perhaps more of the sapiosexual type, you need to know what you want in a partner, and what drives you the most. 

Knowing what you want in a partner is easy if you really think about it. I don't really understand all of the people that say that they don't know what they want, and many people even write it their online dating profiles. I mean, it's not a very appealing thing when you don't know what you want in life or in a partner. It shows lack of thought, desire, passion, and decisiveness. 

In life, it's important to know what you want, because that's saying that you have goals of some sort. When it comes to knowing what you want in a partner, it's important to know what you like and what you don't like. Many times people say that they'll know what they'll like when they see it. On the contrary, if you don't know your tastes, and you don't have any opinions on what you view or value as important to have in a partner, you're probably not in a good position to be dating anyone. 

Superficial Love

One things holds some truth, and is at least somewhat understandable, and that's the fact that not everyone knows what they want their partner to look like. But looks can only get you so far in a relationship. Physical attraction is important, but many times it's not even routed from the exterior physical beauty. At least, not when you have a pure soul. 

It's important to be with someone that you're attracted to, essential even. However, attraction can come from many different things, and not simply physical beauty alone. You might actually be surprised at how many people seem like such odd couples because one of the people is so incredibly attractive, whereas the other person would be considered below average in physical beauty. 

Relationship should be based on a solid, strong foundation that should have nothing, and I mean nothing to do with physical beauty. When you're old and gray, and your partner or someone else asks you why you love them, if you have any trace of an authentic and beautiful soul, you're not going to be happy with the response of "because you're beautiful." We all want to know that our partner loves us because it's genuine, real, and because of who we are deep inside. Don't get me wrong, because we all want to know that our partner finds us attractive, but that should really be just the icing on the cake. 

Many failed marriages take place because someone ends up with a partner, because they were so physically attracted to them and their beauty. I've met a tremendous amount of people that had such exquisite exterior beauty. But it was merely skin deep, and once I got to know their character, I was quite turned off, even on a friendship level. You definitely can't read a book by its cover, and there's nothing more beautiful and appealing than the depth of a person's soul. That's what we should fall in love with.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Dating Someone with Trust Issues

Every new and promising situation that you go into should be given a genuine chance. The best way to do that is by not bringing in any types of issues, wounds, or baggage from previous relationships. It's important to give every person that you date a blank, clean slate, and a fresh start. When you bring trust issues into a new situation, it will never end good. You need to have an open heart and be willing to get hurt in order to fall in love. Part of having an open heart is giving your trust to someone. If you're not willing to give your trust, then you really shouldn't be dating, or at least not yet.

Exploring new relationships can be fun and exciting. But usually more so, when someone doesn't bring any baggage with them. But before I go any further, let's talk about what baggage is. Baggage is a term that used to describe bringing in issues from your past experiences when things were difficult, bad, and unfortunate. Baggage is when you've been cheated on before or hurt from someone that you've dated or been in a relationship with, and you carry those wounds and issues into your new relationship. 

What baggage isn't, but sometimes considered is having children from a previous marriage or relationship. Folks, heed my words when I tell you this - having children is NOT baggage, and no, I'm not saying this because I have children from a previous marriage. I'm saying it because it's a fact. If something like a person having children from a previous situation bothers you, then it's simply not something that you're open to. But it's definitely not baggage.

It's important to trust the person that you're with, and for them to trust you as well. You should be giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, and if there's ever a situation where you question your partner's intentions or motives, then you should politely ask them in a loving and kind manner. But still, let your partner speak their mind, and believe what they say to be true. If your partner is a compulsive liar, then break up with them. But if you're just used to dating compulsive liars and people that might've even cheated on you before, then it's your own issue, and you have to fix it. 

You can't expect that someone's going to stick around if you don't believe them when they tell you things. You need to trust your partner with all of your heart and soul so that your relationship will stand an actual chance. When two people don't trust each other or even when one person doesn't trust the other, relationship problems will be never ending. Honesty is everything in a relationship. You should never take that for granted by even saying white lies to your partner. 

I'm a big believer in being brutally honest, and even when it's hard to be. As long as it's in a kind and loving manner. All we can do is be the best versions of ourselves, and when it comes to relationships, you need to be honest and be willing to trust your partner. If some people can't handle the truth, it's not your issue. Just remember that you get what you give in relationships, so if you give your honesty and trust to someone, they should give it back to you fully, and in return. 

Thursday, October 6, 2016

When Someone 'Doesn't' Know What They Want in a Partner

Relationships take effort, hard work, and dedication. But they also take a person knowing what they want, at least to some degree. No one needs to know exactly what they want their partner to look like or even act like for that matter. However, knowing what you want is something that's essential when it comes to finding your best possible match. 

You have to have an idea of what works for you in a relationship, and what doesn't. As much as I'd hate to say it, people that have had many bad experiences or have endured relationships that haven't worked out well are usually well ahead of the game. Crazy right? But it's true, because having some relationship experience gives people an opportunity to see what works for them, and what doesn't. Although everyone is different, and all relationships are different for that matter, it still gives people an idea of what they want or don't want. 

Going into a relationship without knowing what you want in any way is kind of like going into a situation blindfolded, and having no idea of what to expect. It's important to date people, and get to know them before becoming exclusive. Having said that, before becoming exclusive, and before you're even considering that as an option, you have to know what type of person someone is, and many times on a deeper level. Being in an exclusive relationship is the best way to get to know someone on a deeper level - That is, when you're willing to put the time, effort, and love into getting to know the person. 

When people waste time getting to know someone on a deeper level by being in an exclusive relationship without really knowing what they want or what their partner ultimately wants, they're setting themselves up for doom, and ultimately failure. If you don't know what you want in a relationship or in a partner, then you need to do some deep soul-searching until you figure it out. It's definitely not an attractive or appealing quality by any means when someone doesn't know what they want. 

Many times people respond with, "I want you. That's what I want." Although that's a cute line to use and all, it's not really going to solve the issue at hand. Everyone needs to have some type of idea of what they're looking for, what they like, and what they don't. Otherwise, you'll end up wasting someone's time, and time for most people is quite valuable. 

Last but not least, it's imperative to be emotionally available, and that's a big part of why many times people don't know what they want in a partner or in a relationship. Make sure that your heart is open, healed, and ready to embrace a new love before you even put yourself out there in the dating scene. It's never a kind act to waste anyone's time or pretend that you're in an emotionally healthy state of mind and open to love, when you're truly not. Make sure that your heart is open, and that you're available and willing to do what it takes to make it in a relationship. 

Friday, September 30, 2016

The Self-Destructive Personality Type

There are many people that don't realize what a great effect their words and actions can have in their lives. Unfortunately, many people tend to let go at all of the wrong times. They act free-spirited when they shouldn't. Instead of appreciating the people and things that are bringing them joy in life, they create issues and problems that never actually exist. Instead of feeling grateful from what's provoking so much happiness for them, they feel unworthy of it or of the person for whatever reason. As a result, they subconsciously or consciously sabotage it. 

When people sabotage their relationships, as well as anything that's of importance to them, they're doing themselves a disservice in life. Life is beautiful and it's important to create happiness for yourself and others whenever possible. People that ruin or sabotage good things need to work on self improvement before it starts to run and ruin their hopes at having true happiness in their life.

This can be truly unfortunate when it comes to relationships. The damage that these types of people will cause could leave them not only alone, but feeling torn up at themselves, as well as from the response of the person that they were in a relationship with. Usually the end result is never happiness, but more so, misery and a low self-esteem.

It's imperative to know yourself and to know the strength that you hold from within. When people let their negative emotions take over and run the show so to speak, they end up miserable and alone at times - whether they're aware of what they're doing or not. People that sabotage relationships, friendships, or even when it comes to anything of importance to them, they're doing so because they lack self-esteem, and they have little to no awareness of their self worth. 

When someone tends to sabotage situations, they don't do so because they don't care. Trust me when I say this - they not only care, but many times, they care immensely. They might even like or love a person so much, that they put them on a pedestal in their mind, giving them the halo effect, creating this delusion that they're beyond wonderful, and although they might feel lucky to have this person or thing in their life, they don't feel worthy of it, so they sabotage it. 

Usually though, they regret what they've done and feel remorseful. The problem with someone that sabotages situations and then feels remorse is that many times people don't have forgiving hearts, and they hold a grudge, bearing no patience or forgiveness in their hearts. Especially, not for someone that would sabotage a beautiful thing, like having them in their life. The fact is, people tend to leave situations when they don't feel loved.

You need to get a grip, and realize that if you want to have a beautiful and happy life, you need to stay in control of your emotions. If you want a life in which good, positive, and enlightened people want to be around you, as well as to acquire the ability to hold onto good things that you'll have in life, then you need to think before you act, and definitely before you put your foot in your mouth and say the wrong things- which could push them away. 

You can't expect that someone will want to stick around and be a part of your life if they think you don't care about them. No one will feel that you care about them if you act or speak without thinking. This especially goes for when people tend to put their foot in their mouth more often than not.

When someone is self-aware enough to realize that they tend to sabotage situations when things are good, they need to work on improving themselves. We're all accountable for our own actions in life. Therefore, no one is going to be to blame for your actions, except you. This is a completely destructive action, and needs to be fixed, not merely acknowledged. Don't destroy a good thing. Appreciate what you have, and even more so, when you tend to see a pattern of toxic behaviour as such. Take control over your words, actions, and ultimately your life. It's easy to create happiness, but to maintain it takes hard work. But the good thing to know is that you can do it. You're capable, self aware, and most of all, you deserve it.

If someone is self-aware enough to recognize this fixable flaw in their personality, and they tell me to be aware of their tendency to destroy a good thing or even that they tend to always sabotage situations at some point, I'd likely respond with this statement:

"Don't worry, if you act like a jerk and put your foot in your mouth at times, I'll treat you like a jerk who puts his foot in his mouth at times. I'll call you out on your sh... I'll communicate the issue with you. But I can't fix the issue, only you can. Being self-aware is not enough. The problem needs to be addressed. It's only when people actually screw me over that I disappear from their lives forever. So you can remove the fear of losing me from your system. That fear is what's ultimately provoking you to want to sabotage our relationship. But I can tell you this. When I've been in any relationship with someone on a romantic level, or even someone that was a friend or family member, and there was someone doing things to hurt me on any level, emotional or whatever, my partner, boyfriend, or husband at the time wouldn't want me to keep that person in my life. Therefore, depending on how important I am to you and just how much you want me in your life, you'll have to work on this issue."

Don't take good things for granted. Appreciate all that you have in life. Especially, the people that love and care for you deeply. You deserve happiness, just as much as the next person. Never think differently. Feeling powerless leads to fear. Many times fear is what makes people self-destructive. Know your worth, know your inner power, and know that you deserve the best in life. So when good things are right before your eyes, don't let them go by subconsciously pushing them away and destroying it. Hold onto what's good in your life, and if it's really good, hold onto it even tighter. 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Fear of Rejection and Making the First Move

We all have certain things that we're really good at. Some people are better at some things than others. It's a really great quality to be self-aware, and to know who you are as an individual. Being in touch with who you are as a person can play a huge role in knowing what you're really good at or not good at for that matter. As far as being able to approach someone or make the first move when it comes to dating, it takes a lot of courage and confidence. Not to mention, one of the biggest factors always ends up being how badly do you want someone

How much we want something and what it's worth to us can pertain to goals that we have in life and even when it comes to making that first move towards dating someone, or even speaking to them for that matter. You have to have confidence and guts in order to talk someone for the first time. You never really know what someone's response is going to be, and you have to be willing to be strong and resilient enough to accept the possibility of being rejected. Despite how much courage and confidence someone has to talk to someone and to make that first move, you have to be mentally and emotionally in the right mind frame where you can take it with a grain of rice if someone rejects you. 

As far as being turned down by someone, and even in a cold, harsh, or rude way at times, it's important to know that it's better to lose something that you don't actually have yet. As well, you shouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. For me personally, if someone isn't interested in me or even attracted to me for that matter, I don't even give it a second thought, and I move on. 

Generally speaking, I like people that like me, and I think that's a healthy mindset to have. You can't expect for every single person in this world to find you appealing, attractive, or desirable. Having said that, the right person will not only find it flattering when you make the first move and approach them, but they'll likely be kind, appreciative, and be more than happy that you had the guts and the confidence to make to come up to them. 

There will always be people that don't value or appreciate what it takes for someone to make the first move, and how much confidence and courage it requires. Don't worry about those people, and just appreciate the ones that do have enough kindness and appreciation for the fact that you even tried. When someone approaches a person to date or even talk to, it's not only courageous on their part, but it shows their interest in you, so you should take it as flattery at the very least. 

When it comes to making the first move and having that courage to approach someone, it's never really about what you say, but more so, how do you say it, how much wit and confidence you display, as well as how open the person is to receiving the communication and attention. Frankly, some people have issues and simply can't accept the fact that they're given any attention to whatsoever, let alone if you're the complimentative type and approach them with kind words. Many people are insecure, and hold little to no self-confidence, and that's why they have a hard time accepting compliments from others. Just remember that that's not on you, and it's on that person for lacking the confidence. 

It's never about what you say in that first moment that you speak to someone, so there's no need to dread your opening statement or spend too much time thinking about it. Despite what many people think, there's little to no importance about that first statement that you say, as long as you actually speak up, say something, and go after what you want. Just remember to be authentic, genuine, and act like the real you, instead of some fake, dolled up version of you. Most people appreciate when people are authentic. 

Whether you're a man or a woman, making that first move and approaching someone for the first time can be challenging, and especially if you're the shy type or have an immense fear of rejection. Anyone that fears rejection too much won't be as successful in life or in love for that matter, as opposed to someone that's courageous, confidence, and goes after what they want. So the next time that you feel scared to speak up and make that first move, ask yourself how badly you want it, because the last thing that anyone should want in life is to miss out on a beautiful, new opportunity to find love and happiness. 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...