Monday, February 1, 2016

The Best Approach to Get the Girl

Depending on where you go to meet people, having the best possible approach is always crucial and imperative in getting the best possible response from someone. First impressions go a long way when it comes to meeting people, and especially when you're hoping to grab a woman's interest on a romantic level. Generally speaking, I believe that men need to take more of the initiative when it comes to meeting someone, making the first move, and during early dating altogether. This goes for whether you're meeting someone off of a dating site, at an event, at a bar, or anywhere really, the man should take the lead. Having said that, a woman can always let a man know that she's interested by giving off that "I'm interested" energy. Her "I'm interested" energy should contain a smile, and something along the lines of the article I wrote about how to Seduce a man.

So now that we've established that men should take the lead and approach the woman first, it's imperative that we go over some great ways that men should approach a woman. The best way to do that is usually by showing some of the "approach fails" as well. When it comes to approach fails, many of us not only tend to peace out of the conversation, but we end up having great laughs with our friends because of them. Sometimes yours truly even ends up inspired with new, fabulous writing material. When you meet a woman or even see one from across the room that you'd like to approach, it's important that you don't come off too aggressive, which means that your words and your actions shouldn't be too forward. A woman, like anyone else that you meet, is a total stranger, and your approach can mean everything as far as getting a good response from her. You shouldn't have certain expectations on how she'll respond when you approach her. It's important to be wise with your approach.

When it comes to aggression, generally speaking, woman like when a man takes initiative, knows what he wants, and shows a certain amount of power and authority. However, many men tend to get carried away with their male role and take that power, and all of those good qualities that come with masculinity, and turn it into being obnoxious, aggressive, and usually end up being too forward. Guys, pursuing a woman is great, but it's important that you understand that your approach is everything when it comes to how you start a conversation. Whether it's light and casual, flirty, or full of your witty personality, it's important that you remember that a woman doesn't have you yet, and she won't be afraid to lose you. My motto is, "You can't lose what you don't have." I use this phrase in many instances. But in this article, I'm basically saying that if a man's approach isn't good, he not only won't get the response that he wants, but he'll likely be turned down flat cold.

Whether a man is incredibly confident, charming, and fearless when it comes to approaching a woman, it's still important that he doesn't come across as arrogant, self-absorbed, or rude. Women like confident men, not men that are rude and insensitive. A woman is a strong, yet fragile creature, and she's generally feminine in her nature. It's important to feed off of a woman's femininity, and be gentle in your approach, yet assertive. It's important to approach a woman with respect, despite where you meet her, because you never know, and your approach will basically be the door opening or the door closing to the situation.

I'm not really sure what it is with some of the ways that men are approaching women these days, but certain things should never happen during first conversations with people. I went out with a friend the other night, and the second that we walked into this place, this man wouldn't even let me walk through the front door, let alone walk in with my friend. He stopped me, I was kind, but he was as Jerry Seinfeld would put it, "a close talker." Oh man, was this just the beginning! He was extremely complimentary, meaning that he repeated the same statement over three times (in a row, I might add). I said thank you, and as I felt as though I was removing myself out of a tunnel so to speak, having to duck my head out of his desire to close talk, I found my way back to where my friend was. Suddenly, I look up at her, and once again the doofus had returned. Why is this man a doofus you might ask, when he's being so complimentary? For one thing, he was a close talker, and early on, I need my space, and there will definitely be certain boundaries (like breathing room). 

Perhaps it's the fact that I need glasses, but I don't think that was what the problem was. I literally needed to take a step back, but not with my feet, with my face, if you can imagine that. Yes, I literally moved my head backwards to the point where I ended up taking two steps backwards with my feet. All of a sudden, this man puts his hand/arm around the back of my waist, with no notice that he was coming in. Fellas, keep your hands off of woman that you don't know! Just like when you were a little boy, and your mother or father told you to keep your hands to yourself and not touch or agitate other kids. The same goes when you're meeting a woman for the first time. Keep your hands to yourself! 

What a doofus! He didn't even get the message that I was trying to give him by my facial expressions. In case you don't know me personally, I'm incredibly open book, direct, and honest. So when it comes to trying to read me, you usually don't have to put in too much effort. In other words, nearly anyone could tell that the expression on my face was please leave me alone, and you're bothering me. Lo and behold, the man spews out the same complement again, but a few more times, and I thank him each and every time. But it started to get annoying because he started complimenting me and touching my back, which was not cool. 

His first line, other than the repetitive complements was, "What's your sign?" Yep, that was it... The big line opener. One might think that I'm a bit picky. Well folks, I definitely am picky, I know what I want, and I won't settle for less. I definitely don't waste my time speaking with people that aren't good conversationalists, and are overly aggressive. When a man's approach is so appalling, one would never even feel the desire to get to know them. Having said all of this, your approach can be everything when it comes to attaining a woman's attention. Just in case you're curious about my end response to the fellow, I ended up having to be brutally honest, thanking him, but telling him that I wasn't interested. If you'd like to know the expression on my face, I made full eye contact, with my chin down. I was very direct, and straightforward, just as everyone should be when the message needs to get across.

When a man approaches a woman, he should come across as confident, not arrogant. He should be a gentleman in his nature, and use his masculinity to his advantage. He should be respectful, and say hello, and make light conversation. He should be himself by all means, and treat her like she's special, because we all are. We're not a dime a dozen. We are all unique and beautiful creatures. A man should approach a woman as if she stands out to him in a crowd. If she doesn't, why bother approaching her to begin with. If a man is interested, he needs to stand out to her, and with all of the doofases out there that are clueless in their approaches, it's not difficult these days to stand out by showing a little kindness and respect. Start slow, and gradually pursue her. There's no need to be all touchy feely, before you even know if she'll be cool with that. Let her breathe for goodness sake, and don't try to breathe in her oxygen, to the point that she needs to take a step back. Reel her in, make her want you back. Be confident, and go after her, but do so in a gentlemanly manner.