The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Aggression During Early Dating: 10 Ways to Know Someone Has a Bad Temper

The first sign of a bad temper or aggressive behavior is a huge red flag. This is not the kind of red flag that you sweep under the rug, not that any are. But especially, not this one! When someone has a bad temperament early on while dating or in a new relationship, it's time to end it with them and not look back. If a person can't control themselves enough while early dating or in a new situation, it's a really bad sign. This means that they clearly have no self-control. Going down a path with someone that has a bad temper, is not going to be an easy one. 

Take my advice now and when you see a sign of a bad temper early on, leave. It's as simple as that. Don't waste your time and don't look back. When someone has a bad temperament, it only gets worse, not better over time. Things can only get better when the person is self-aware enough to realize that they have a problem and are willing to work on it. Either way, they're not in a place where they can be dating someone. They need to work on themselves and get better first, before dating anyone. I decided to write a list of 10 ways to know someone has a bad temper. If you see any of these signs, it's time to say, "Next!"

The list: 

1. Jealousy. They start questioning you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. The best way to know that it's not coming from a good place (but a jealous place), is your initial gut feeling. For example, "Who were you just talking to?" or "Where were you last night?" or "Oh, really! You were with them?" or "Who is this person on your Facebook?" There are a million examples I could give, but you get the idea. It's the energy behind the question, not the question itself.

2. They raise their voice. We're not talking about the louder sound that you might hear out of an Israeli or someone from New York. We're talking about the tone in which someone speaks to you. It's as if they're speaking at you and not with you.

3. They seem to dominate the conversations, and if you speak, the conversation just escalates, so they can speak over you.

4. They're controlling. They have way too much say in how you dress, who you spend time with, and who you can or can't communicate with.

5. They hit you. Even once, if they hit you. If they push, shove, or hurt you in any way.

6. They show signs of anger to people while driving (road rage), in a work environment, at a restaurant, or any other place. It doesn't have to be directed at you, but to anyone. If they have children and you see any signs of anger. 

7. They make public scenes and get so red in the face, that they don't even care who sees or hears them. 

8. They implode and have inner anger. The way you can tell is if you see that they tend to get jealous and suddenly, they become super distant. When they return from their cave of silence, they will likely spew out the toxic anger and resentment for why they were upset. When you see this behavior, you'll know in the future that they handle their anger by imploding. When people implode, there will be a point when they explode as well, and trust me, you don't want to be around for that! Remember to nip things in the bud, before they get worse and become a bigger issue.

9. They break things. Any sign of violence towards you, anyone, or anything.

10. They're mean to workers, waiters, hired help, or anyone else. They're mean to homeless people. Instead of giving to help homeless people, they shout mean things at them (Get away! Go get a job! You're dirty! Get out of here). 

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