Monday, February 15, 2016

Giving With Motives

I can't express enough the importance of doing sweet things for people that you care about. Whether there's someone that you're in a relationship with, married to, or even just a friend, it's important to express your love, and not only through your words, but through your actions as well. Many times when people show someone how much they care, they do so by buying a gift for them of some sort. I wrote this article, because sometimes when we express gratitude to someone for gifts or kind actions that were done to us, it doesn't seem to be adequate enough. In other words, there are some people that treat others as if there's some type of obligation to do something back for them in return, as opposed to naturally reciprocating the love through their actions in their own time, and when it's in their heart to do so. What this type of action does, how do I put this nicely... Well, there's no way to really put this nicely, so I'll just tell you how it is... They're basically sh!tting on the cake. They're giving you a cake, which is the gift, if you can follow my analogy. Once they give you the cake, they feel some sort of expectation, making the other person feel obligated, as if their gratitude wasn't enough. This type of action is wrong on so many levels.

Doing a kind deed, giving a gift of some sort, or showing someone how much you care through your actions usually brings about happiness in the person that they're doing it for. The happiness that one provokes in a person by doing a kind gesture for them should be awarding the giver enough satisfaction just by seeing the happiness that it provoked in that person. When you do a kind act for another person, having pure intentions, solely coming from a good place, and just to show them that you care about them, there shouldn't be any motivation other than to bring joy and happiness to that person. If someone has a motive, other than bringing you happiness when they do something sweet for you, their impure intentions are self-serving, and it's better for them not to do anything nice for someone else at all. 

It's common courtesy to say thank you when someone gives you a gift or does something kind for you. However, when people have expectations for the reciprocation of kind acts, or if they feel a sense of what have you done for me lately, they're going about gift-giving all wrong. When someone does something sweet for you, buys you a gift, or displays any action where you can benefit, and they do so out of love, at least they say that they do, they shouldn't have those fixed false beliefs that the other person owes them in some way. If you're married, in a relationship, dating someone, or even friends with someone that you feel isn't being giving through their actions in the same manner that you are, you should let them know how you feel. 

It's important to have and maintain a healthy enough relationship where you can openly discuss, share, and communicate your feelings to the other person. Let them know how you're feeling, and that you feel that the relationship seems one-sided, but let them know in a kind manner, so that they don't feel attacked. One-sided relationships are never good, and that goes for one-sided friendships, one sided marriages, and all other types of relationships. It's important that both people give in relationships equally. Doing kind things and expressing one's love through their actions is something that should naturally be reciprocated. At least, in healthy relationships that type of love should be reciprocated. When someone does kind things for you in any way, it's important to show gratitude, thanks, and to let them know how much you appreciate them. Saying thank you to someone when they do something nice is always the appropriate response. However, it's imperative that the giver doesn't feel owed any type of response whatsoever, and that especially goes for having that person do something nice for them back. People should only give to provoke happiness in others and to express their love to a person. When showing or expressing LOVE, there should never be a motive other than letting someone know that you care, and that you want them to be happy.