When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
The Power of Giving
When it comes to dating, relationships, marriage, or even friends, it's important to give, yet also be able to receive. I've already written about "The Power of Being Able to Receive," so I'm not going to concentrate on that in this article. But more so, I wanted to write about people that give in relationships, how much they should give, how early on they should give, when they're going overboard, and when they should stop or ease up on the giving a bit.
When it comes to first dates, many times people go overboard, and simply put, it's not necessary. However, usually people tend to go overboard these days with things like putting on too much makeup, or dressing so sexy, and leaving little to the imagination. It seems that women are either dressing overly sexy and seductive or lacking to dress up at all during early dating. Ladies, effort is so important, and that includes in the way that you present yourself.
A woman should dress classy, elegant, and appear feminine, graceful, and with poise. If a woman shows too much skin before a man falls in love with her, he's going to have one thing on his mind, and not let his heart open up as quickly as his hormones might. When you're looking for something with long term potential, it's important to tone down the sexy-mexy clothes, and let a man see your radiating confidence, and feed off of your natural sex appeal. There's nothing wrong with dressing a little sexy during early dating, as long as you don't go overboard. I truly believe that a woman's fashion should be classy, and just as if she's put enough effort into caring how her date perceives her. As well, she should respect herself enough to care how she presents herself.
How you dress says a lot about your self-worth, your effort, and how you're hoping to be perceived. I think that Dave Chapelle said it the best. He made a joke during one of his comedy acts saying how women say that they don't want to be judged for how they dress, even if they dress over-the-top cheaply, and sexy, etc., leaving very little to the imagination. Chapelle said that it's true that men shouldn't judge women that dress that way, but it sure does make it confusing, and I totally agree.
As far as men go, nowadays you see less of the old-fashioned type where it's rare that men bring flowers to your door, or pick you up at your door at all. Many men simply prefer to meet for coffee dates, which if you read my previous article, "How to Act on The First Three Dates," you'll know exactly how I feel about that! You should always put effort into how you look, or how you act on a first date, during early dating, or in any type of long-term committed relationship. It's important to put effort into things, and it's definitely okay to go all out if you really like the person, even if it's during the early dating period.
When it comes to giving, I think that being a giving person is beautiful, and everyone should concentrate on giving more than receiving. We should embrace the beauty and goodness that we get within ourselves when we give to others. When it comes to how much we should give to a person that we just started dating, I feel that giving should naturally progress at a slow and steady pace. Being that you don't really know a person, you never want to get taken advantage of. I always talk about going into dating with caution, as opposed to being scared. It's important that when you give, you should do so in a cautious manner so to speak.
I think it's awesome and beautiful when a man brings flowers to a woman on the first date, during early dating, or anytime really! A good woman will always appreciate any sweet gesture that a man does in order to impress her, and to attain her love. I'm not saying that a man should ever buy a woman's affections with gifts, but that whatever gifts he buys or things that he does, should be out of a genuine place, and from the heart. You shouldn't have a goal or any type of ulterior motive when it comes to showering the person that you're dating with gifts. Like I said, it should be genuine, and out of a pure place of simply wanting to bring a smile, and a glow to her face. Obviously, it's never essential that a man showers a woman with gifts or vice versa, but it's always nice to be giving to someone that you're dating.
When someone shows signs of lack of appreciation, it's important to ease up on all of the giving. It's imperative that people show appreciation for kind gestures, even if they have excuses why they feel it was unnecessary for for the person to give. Sometimes people aren't used to getting gifts from others, but that usually stems from their past experiences, and that's plain and simply previous baggage. That's their issue, not yours. If a person isn't appreciating you, or the things that you do, ease up on the giving. Don't get me wrong, people shouldn't give in the hopes of getting a particular type of response of appreciation, but it's important that they get appreciated either way.
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