Sunday, August 16, 2015

Are You Going Overboard on a First Date?

Are you trying too hard on the first date? It's important to care how you present yourself on a first date. But when is it too much? We all like to put our best foot forward when going on a first date. Many of us try to impress the other person with our knowledge and accomplishments. However, some of us tend to go overboard in how we look and how much we share on a first date. In this article, I wanted to share some ways in which we all go overboard and why doing such is not helping us get the other person to like us more, but less. I hope you can all use some of these tips in toning down your almost perfect selves. Despite adding or not adding any of these dating tips to your lives, what it all comes down to is the chemistry and attraction that you feel for each other. 

There's nothing wrong when a man is courting a woman and he brings her flowers or something sweet on a first date. It rarely happens these days, but if it does, it's more than okay. There's nothing overboard about being a hopeless romantic. As well, there's nothing wrong with saying please and thank you to your date. Actually, if you don't, it's highly unlikely that you'll ever have a second date with him, or anyone. Be gracious and appreciative to your date. Having said that, don't go overboard by thanking him too much. I've done this myself ladies, so I know what I'm talking about! One or two thank you's is plenty!

Many people go out and buy new clothes, but there's no need for that. You never want to appear like you're trying too hard. Putting effort into things is always good. Just know when you're putting way too much emphasis on something that isn't imperative in how much your date will like you. There's no need to show too much skin on a first date. If you're a lady and you want to show a little skin, show one area at a time. It may sound a little silly, but it's true. Less is more when it comes to revealing skin early on in dating. Show a little shoulder, leg, or whatever you're comfortable with (if anything). Stay away from showing too much cleavage, because he won't be listening to a thing you're saying. Let him fall in love with you for you, and not for your body. Men nor women should wear sandals or flip-flops on early dates. Unless, by some chance you're going to the beach. 

One thing I've noticed about the way women seem to be dressing on dates these days is that they don't wear dresses and skirts enough. I'm not saying that you can't wear pants or that men won't find them attractive. It's just that from what I've seen and heard, men appreciate a woman that dresses girly and feminine. When you go on a date to a sporting event or a concert, dress for the occasion. But a nice evening at an event or a dinner date, I'd recommend wearing something feminine and flirty. You can mix it up later and wear a variety of looks as you date more. For a first date, I say wear a dress. I think a man can get away with a lot more in how he dresses on a first date. He should just dress a bit more on the clean cut side. 

To all of the ladies out there, there's no need to wear so much makeup on a first date. Besides the fact that a lot of men prefer the natural look these days, no one wants to have your pound cake looking makeup accidentally, brushed on their shoulder. When a man sees you wear too much makeup, he wonders what you're trying to conceal. A smile is the best makeup you can wear. That saying never gets old. But a little makeup can be nice, when you don't overdo it. Just enhance your natural features with some natural to light make up. If you're going out in the evening, you'll need to wear a little bit more. Just don't go too heavy on your makeup. To the men and women out there, there's no need to wear so much perfume and cologne. It's good to smell appealing and pleasant, but we have no interest in inhaling your scent to the point where we can't breathe air. Gross! What are you all trying to cover up! Just shower so you're clean, and spray 1–2 pumps of your fragrance, and stop. What if the other person has allergies to fragrances or what if they don't like your fragrance at all? Don't go overboard with fragrances. 

When people ask you questions on the first date, don't ramble on for 20 minutes, not letting the other person get a word in. Answer the question and give a little detail that keeps the conversation flowing. There's no need to give a person your whole life story for one question. This is only a first date. Over time, you can share more about your life and history. The conversation between two people on a first date should go back and forth. It's not an interview, so don't make it into one. It's one of the best qualities when a person is open book and shares things with you naturally. When a person doesn't play games or act so private, it can be really great in developing a healthy foundation for a relationship. However, on a first date there's no need to be to open and share everything. Let your relationship develop with time and share things as they come up. There's no need to pry into other people's pasts and ask them questions that will make them uncomfortable. 

To sum it up, enjoy your first date, because it could be the first of many wonderful dates with this person. Give this new situation a real chance by not going overboard and trying too hard. Someone that's searching for something real and has pure intentions, won't be judging you based on superficial things or if you don't share everything on a first date. Be comfortable, be yourself, and remember to have a good time!