The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Opposites Attract: Can We Make It Work ?

I always say how important it is to find a partner that you have as many connections with as possible. Whether it's an intellectual connection, a musical connection, or perhaps it's just having similar interests as one another. When it comes to having similar interests, we don't always find people with the exact same interests, nor should we look for that. If you're a professional surfer or an incredible artist, you don't necessarily need to find someone to be your partner who will share those very same interests. Having said that, they need to be supportive of you, your dreams, and your goals. Many people will search til the end of the earth until they find a person that's into the same activities as them, despite what kind of activities they are. You shouldn't even have to try and convince your partner to try your favourite activities if they're simply not willing. However, it is of course okay to ask them. But, when it comes to insisting, it's not really necessary. All they need to do as your partner is love, respect, and support you.

It's important to find someone that's into the same types of activities, but when someone isn't your Doublemint twin, it's still important to give things a shot when there's other things that you like about them. No one should expect to be exactly like their partner, or to like every single thing that they do. You need to weigh out the pros and cons when you date someone, and develop a foundation based on the most important factors. You need to make sure that there's fire and chemistry first, and then see if you ultimately want the same things in your future. From there, get to know each other's interests, and see what matches up. Everything doesn't have to match up perfectly. There's no perfect person for anyone, but there is a best possible match for you. You have to know what you want, you should be picky, even too picky, being that you never want to settle. When you know what's truly important for you to have in a relationship, and in a future partner, you shouldn't have to settle for less. However, just because your interests or activity preferences might not line up exactly, doesn't mean that nearly everything else won't. Give things a chance when you see the most important factors are there, and when a situation has good potential.

This brings me to another aspect of two people being different, but in other ways. Having different interests is one thing. But, sometimes we find someone that we like, but they're more of the conservative type, where as you're more of the free spirited type (or vice versa). Would you believe it if I told you that a couple like this can still have a great chance at survival in a relationship! Well, they not only can have a great chance at survival, but they can end up having a beautiful, happy, and healthy relationship, even though they have two fundamental differences as such. People don't need to be exactly the same to work out. Many times, it's the differences that couples have that make them grow and thrive.

It's so imperative that we find a partner in life that will not only let us grow, but that will be supportive of our growth, be willing to grow as well, and that will enjoy learning and growing from one another. It's scenarios like this that end up having so much success and happiness. Scenarios where both people in a relationship want to improve on themselves, and are supportive of their partner improving on themselves as well. Being in a relationship where someone feels that they are set in their ways, are too used to their lifestyle, and aren't willing to budge or alter anything, don't usually work out, or simply end up being less than happy in their situation. Perhaps it's usually because one of the two people in the relationship feels the natural desire to learn, the passion to discover new things, or simply yearns to grow. Whether people like it or not, growing never stops, and when a person isn't up for altering their lifestyle or making any changes in order to build a life with someone, they're not in a place to be in a relationship at all.

Despite the differences that couples have, despite their preferred hobbies or interests, when a couple has a love built upon a strong, solid foundation, the relationship will not only succeed, it will thrive. Healthy and happy relationships aren't about being exactly the same or loving the same things. They're about sharing all of the beautiful things in this world with someone that will love and support you. They're about finding that one special person that you can count on to have your back, be your best friend, and to be there for one another through the good times and the bad. Relationships should be based on honesty, trust, respect, love, good communication, and a healthy connection where both people's needs are met. 

Relationships take giving, effort, acceptance, and despite whether or not you're loving their sometimes ridiculous hobbies or different modes that they might be getting into. Support them, and love them enough not to act bitter or judgmental, and don't give them grief or act disappointed for them having different interests as you. Be fully supportive in the other person's passions and desires, as long as it's not something that will harm them or others in any way. Give them your approval, and don't just say it, but show them that it's more than okay. If you don't ski, but your partner does, go with your partner, take pictures, drink hot chocolate, and enjoy watching them smile. You should be their biggest fan. You should want their happiness as much, if not more than your own. Find happiness in the things that they enjoy, even when you don't enjoy them.

It's important to be open minded in life and in love. You might not enjoy all of the same things as your partner, but let them enjoy the things that you don't. For your partner to get the full enjoyment out of the things that they enjoy, it's important to show your happiness for them, and it should be none other than genuine. Appreciate your partner and give them your love with your words and show them with your actions. Don't try to change your partner to make them suit you and your lifestyle better. Add the beauty of your differences to your life with a smile, and a great appreciation for having them in your life. Life is too short not to let go, and not to give situations a chance that deserve one.

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