Friday, January 8, 2016

The Appropriate Steps to Finding Your Partner


When it comes to meeting someone new for the purpose of finding a partner in life, I believe that there are certain ways how people should act. When I say act, I'm obviously not talking about putting on a front, or not being yourself, but I'm talking about actions that are acceptable or unacceptable, and acknowledging red flags early on, as opposed to sweeping them under the rug. Once you find out that a person and you seem somewhat compatible, you've asked enough early dating questions, you feel that you have a chance with this person, and it seems like a promising situation, I believe in exploring an exclusive relationship. I'm a big believer and supporter of the 3 date rule, and I don't think that it should take more than three dates to figure out if you want to become exclusive with someone. I believe in giving promising situations a real chance, and the only way to do that is to become exclusive. 

Once a couple is exclusive, I believe that they should come up with a timeframe that feels right for them, and have somewhat of a game plan as far as having a future together. I'm not saying that couples should plan out their wedding when they just get into a new relationship. I'm merely saying that they should discuss where they see themselves down the line, in the future, and hopefully things will match up so that they're not in a long-term relationship, that leads nowhere. It's important that couples ultimately want the same things in their future, so that when they're in an exclusive relationship together, neither person is pressuring the other to move at a different pace than the other one desires. Just as I always talk about the importance of being on the same page as your partner, I also believe that it's important to go at the same pace as one another so that things generally flow together, and feel natural.

It's important to have goals and dreams in life. It's important to know what you want in life, in relationships, and as far as what you're searching for in a partner. Many times, when we find the type of partner that seems to be what we've been searching for, being that we've been searching for "this type of person" for so long, we're willing to skip over some steps. At times, we prefer to jump, instead of letting the relationship naturally progress at a healthy pace. Many times we feel that it's okay to skip the dating process, jump into a relationship, and sometimes even skip the relationship all together, and jump into being engaged. 

There are some people that will even play with your mind, use phrases, and tell you things like, "Are you ready!" They're doing so as a way to excite you, make you believe that their intentions are pure, that they truly hope to move things along briskly, and at a fast pace. They're leading you on to believe that you have a future with them. In other words, they'll ask you if you're ready, insinuating that they're ready, and they want to let you know that things are going to start happening for the two of you, and very quickly. Many people will use this tactic to their advantage in order to get what they want. But especially, when they know that you're hoping to go at a faster pace. You know what they say... players gonna play! I find it very misleading when people do something like this, because not only does it get the other person's hopes up, but it's incredibly deceiving, dishonest, and many times people will use their words to get what they really want. Many times people will take advantage of others by saying anything that they feel that the other person needs to hear, and simply, and selfishly for the sole purpose of getting what they want. You have to be cautious of this.

It's taken me a while to get to this point, and in having this particular view. But, I don't believe that people should skip steps when it comes to settling down. I believe that everyone should experience each step from dating, being in a relationship, being engaged, and then to getting married. I believe that each step is important. I don't think that people need to date for a long time before getting into an exclusive relationship, or that they should wait a long time once in an exclusive relationship to get engaged. As well, I don't believe that a long engagement is needed before getting married. However, I do believe that couples should experience all of the above and within whatever timeframe that the couple agrees on as a team.

Many times we're all in such a rush to get what we want, that we're willing to skip over certain steps in order to attain that goal. Whether it's because we're in a big rush, impatient, or possible even because we're so excited, and the actual "rush" is so intense and thrilling. It's important that we don't rush when it comes to relationships, because it could leave us skipping certain experiences that may lead you to realizing whether or not you're truly a good match for one another. It doesn't have to take a really long time or a really long relationship in order to tell whether or not you'll be a good match for each other. However, it does take putting in a certain amount of effort, spending a certain amount of time, and seeing how each other acts, responds, and thinks on a daily basis.

The dating period encompasses certain experiences that are essential for couples to see whether or not they'll be a good match in a relationship together. Just as well, being in an exclusive relationship comes with a whole other set of wonderful experiences that are imperative to know before deciding whether or not you'll be a good match, and if you should take things to the next level, and get married. It's important that we don't skip over the essential dating period. Even if it's merely going on a few dates, and we should embrace an exclusive relationship, even if it's a short one, so that we may truly find out if we're compatible with our partner.

When it comes to being young, old, single, in a relationship, engaged, or married, each stage in our life, and each situation that we're in comes with positives and negatives. We should embrace all of them, and while we're in each different stage. It's important to live in your present state, and enjoy it as it happens, as opposed to wanting to be in a future state, or where you see yourself down the line. If you don't enjoy each state that you're in as it happens, one day you might look back and wish you had. It's important that throughout every stage that we experience in our life, we embrace the positives, and bear through the negatives as much as possible. It truly is important to live in the moment, but plan for our future, and to have those goals and dreams that we hope to attain. It's important to work towards having our desired dreams, and to always strive to attain them. However, there's a great beauty, and peace that can be experienced in life, when we truly embrace each stage as it happens. 

It's important that when someone is single, they enjoy their single life so that one day, if they so choose to get married and settle down, they won't wonder what single life is all about, because they'll have experienced it. True happiness comes from enjoying every step along the way, and not always wishing that you were somewhere else. Remember, it's important to embrace every date, every chance at a new, promising relationship, and give things a real shot when you think that they have one. We shouldn't always be looking for more, and more than what's right in front of us, when it comes to dating. Every person that you meet will have good and bad qualities, but the point is not to find a good match, it's to find the best possible match for you. Many people "could be" a match, but again, you should be on the search for finding your best possible match. 

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