The following is a contributor article by Neer Tiwari: Is snoring ruining your relationship? Though this may seem like a w...
Thursday, September 29, 2016
The Fear of Rejection and Making the First Move
We all have certain things that we're really good at. Some people are better at some things than others. It's a really great quality to be self-aware, and to know who you are as an individual. Being in touch with who you are as a person can play a huge role in knowing what you're really good at or not good at for that matter. As far as being able to approach someone or make the first move when it comes to dating, it takes a lot of courage and confidence. Not to mention, one of the biggest factors always ends up being how badly do you want someone.
How much we want something and what it's worth to us can pertain to goals that we have in life and even when it comes to making that first move towards dating someone, or even speaking to them for that matter. You have to have confidence and guts in order to talk someone for the first time. You never really know what someone's response is going to be, and you have to be willing to be strong and resilient enough to accept the possibility of being rejected. Despite how much courage and confidence someone has to talk to someone and to make that first move, you have to be mentally and emotionally in the right mind frame where you can take it with a grain of rice if someone rejects you.
As far as being turned down by someone, and even in a cold, harsh, or rude way at times, it's important to know that it's better to lose something that you don't actually have yet. As well, you shouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. For me personally, if someone isn't interested in me or even attracted to me for that matter, I don't even give it a second thought, and I move on.
Generally speaking, I like people that like me, and I think that's a healthy mindset to have. You can't expect for every single person in this world to find you appealing, attractive, or desirable. Having said that, the right person will not only find it flattering when you make the first move and approach them, but they'll likely be kind, appreciative, and be more than happy that you had the guts and the confidence to make to come up to them.
There will always be people that don't value or appreciate what it takes for someone to make the first move, and how much confidence and courage it requires. Don't worry about those people, and just appreciate the ones that do have enough kindness and appreciation for the fact that you even tried. When someone approaches a person to date or even talk to, it's not only courageous on their part, but it shows their interest in you, so you should take it as flattery at the very least.
When it comes to making the first move and having that courage to approach someone, it's never really about what you say, but more so, how do you say it, how much wit and confidence you display, as well as how open the person is to receiving the communication and attention. Frankly, some people have issues and simply can't accept the fact that they're given any attention to whatsoever, let alone if you're the complimentative type and approach them with kind words. Many people are insecure, and hold little to no self-confidence, and that's why they have a hard time accepting compliments from others. Just remember that that's not on you, and it's on that person for lacking the confidence.
It's never about what you say in that first moment that you speak to someone, so there's no need to dread your opening statement or spend too much time thinking about it. Despite what many people think, there's little to no importance about that first statement that you say, as long as you actually speak up, say something, and go after what you want. Just remember to be authentic, genuine, and act like the real you, instead of some fake, dolled up version of you. Most people appreciate when people are authentic.
Whether you're a man or a woman, making that first move and approaching someone for the first time can be challenging, and especially if you're the shy type or have an immense fear of rejection. Anyone that fears rejection too much won't be as successful in life or in love for that matter, as opposed to someone that's courageous, confidence, and goes after what they want. So the next time that you feel scared to speak up and make that first move, ask yourself how badly you want it, because the last thing that anyone should want in life is to miss out on a beautiful, new opportunity to find love and happiness.
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