When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...
Friday, April 1, 2016
Communication and Shalom Bayit
Having a relationship can be hard at times. The longer the relationship, the more likely issues and conflicts could arise. So as far as marriage goes, conflict and hiccups are bound to happen. It's important to try and minimize problems in relationships as often as possible. It's important to develop healthy communication, and hash things out so to speak. Couples should never sweep things under the rug. If they do, their issues will likely build up into even bigger problems.
There's something in Judaism called shalom bayit. The literal definition of shalom bayit is peace in the home. It goes without saying that despite a person's religion, it's important to maintain a peaceful household, a peaceful relationship, and a peaceful marriage as much possible. In Judaism, they say that it's better to have peace in the home, rather than win in an argument. They say that it's better to have a calm, loving, and peaceful home-life, and put disagreements aside whenever possible.
It's important to remember what really matters in life and in love, and that's being happy. I don't believe in sweeping things under the rug. Nor do I believe in holding things inside, and letting them build up. A person shouldn't have to bite their tongue, and not share their true feelings. However, there's a certain way of speaking to your partner where you'll feel heard, understood, and where your partner will have more of an open mind to hear you out. It's all about the way that you get your point across when you're communicating your feelings. You can say almost anything that you want to if it's out of a good place, and from the way that you say it.
Communication is everything in relationships, so it's important to hash things out, and try to find a resolution to disagreements. But, it's important to keep in mind that the words that you say, and the tone of voice that you say them in can make all of the difference in getting the response that you hope for. Couples shouldn't have to filter anything and everything that they want to say. As well, they should never feel as though they're on eggshells to speak their minds. Remember, you should feel free and open to say whatever you want to your partner, and they should have an open ear, an open mind, and an open heart to hear you out. This even goes for when you feel that your partner will disagree with you on whatever it is.
It's never a good thing when couples avoid having certain conversations that are needed simply to avoid conflict or turbulence in the relationship. A true healthy relationship is one where both people communicate their feelings openly and freely to one another. As well, couples should never go to bed angry. Healthy relationships take hard work, and it's important to know and understand that perfect relationships don't exist. Having said that, it's imperative that we all strive for perfection, even though it may never be attained.
If you start to feel that everything is a battle in your relationship, where you never feel heard, and you're constantly bickering all of the time, it's important to fix the problem. In order to fix such a problem, both people need to work on it. Honestly, all I can say is that communication is key. Once again, it goes back to communicating your feelings and thoughts without causing pain to the other person. It's all about how you speak, the words you say, and how you say them.
Keep in mind that when there are many disagreements, and even when you feel like drama is all that's left in your relationship, you can still overcome the problems with learning to communicate better. When situations like this occur, make the time to sit down with your partner, and both of you should acknowledge, and remember why you got together in the first place. Remind yourselves that the reason you're together is because you love one another. You should both be open and willing to improve your relationship if your goal is to have it be a healthy, and happy one.
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