Friday, March 18, 2016

Fighting in Relationships


There are two types of people in this world. One of them is the type that when you get into a disagreement or an argument of some sort, they use facts that are logical. They say things that bother them, and when it comes to responding to what you say,  they know that certain things are unspoken, and shouldn't be said. This type of person automatically knows in the back of their mind that certain things they can never say, even if they think them. This characteristic is usually second nature to this type of person, or it's something that they've learned, and a rule that they live by. The reason being is because they know that if they say certain things, it will hurt the other person on such a deep level, and there might not be any turning back. 

As we all know, words are very powerful. This type of person also realizes that not only are certain things told to them in confidence, and as a secret, but they were trusted, and confided in. They're quite aware that the person opened up to them on a deep level, and trusted them with what they told them. But, they also understand that it's beyond insensitive to use emotional weapons when they're arguing in relationships. Having the knowledge of what someone went through at any point in their life, knowledge of any pain, trauma, turbulence, or heartache that someone had previously experienced can cause another person pain when brought up, and definitely when brought up in a way to use against them. Past wounds, and bad experiences that were shared to you in confidence should never be used against them or brought up in arguments in relationships.

Now, the second type of person views these things a bit differently. This type of person uses emotional weapons. They'll say whatever they can to give them the one up so to speak during an argument with someone. They view arguments, and more so, winning arguments as all goes, and whatever they want to say, they'll say it. It's true, they'll say what they want, without remorse, sensitivity, or awareness of any type of the damage of what they say can cause to others. They'll say insulting remarks, and hold back very little. They might even go as far as conditioning their love for you, saying that they hate you. This action of the second type of person is completely toxic, beyond insensitive, and completely wrong. 

Surprisingly enough, the second type of person is quite common in the world. Many times people are simply unaware of the damage that they cause with their words. They just say what they feel in the moment and during an argument to get their point across. I've written about this issue before, but it's a biggie. It's quite common, and can definitely use another article to spread the word about the damage that can be caused. What words you say, what secrets you share, and the things that are told to you privately are meant to stay in "the vault" as they would say in Seinfeld. It's never a good thing to cause others pain. When you're arguing or fighting with someone, it's important to remain focused, sticking to facts, but keeping in mind that you never want to take an argument down to a level where there's no turning back.

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