Monday, April 25, 2016

8 Things Never to Do After a Breakup

1. Don't Talk Trash

Don't talk bad about your ex to others. Nothing is worse than a gossip. When you gossip and talk bad about others, it only makes you look bad, and it might even get back to the person. As well, it could possibly provoke hurt or anger in the person. Gossiping and trash talking after a breakup is a big no-no. The same goes for spreading true or false rumours about the person. That's just putting bad karma in the air. You know what they say... Do onto others...

2. Don't Mask the Pain

Don't start partying or heavily drinking in order to deal with the pain. Don't temporarily mask your feelings of hurt. Distract yourself with positive things. Drinking or partying a lot after a breakup is not the way to go. It will only hold you back from healing even longer. You're human, and you need to feel. Feeling and embracing emotions is what life is all about, and learning to cope from difficult or challenging situations will only make you stronger. Don't put off healing for a temporary quick fix of long term darkness. Stay healthy and optimistic as much as possible, and remember the old saying, "This too shall pass."

3. Don't Grieve Too Much

Don't grieve for more than 2 to 3 days. I could say not to grieve at all, but that's not logical, realistic, or a good method if you ask me. As well, grieving is imperative in order to move on. You need to mourn the end of a situation. It takes time to get over breakups, and the longer the relationship, the longer and harder it might be for you. But keep in mind, life goes on, and you can't lay in bed, be lazy, cry, over-indulge on ice cream or whatever it is that you do for too long. Give yourself a few days to recover into that normal state of mind again. Take some alone time so that you won't affect others around you negatively or seem a little over the top pessimistic about love or life in general. Hey, it could happen to the best of us.

4. Don't Over-Indulge 

The last thing that you want is to get fat before getting back out into the dating scene. Don't make your life even harder by taking bad care for yourself. Love yourself enough to care what you put into your body. If you feel the need to distract yourself, again, do so with healthy choices. If you're going to overeat or indulge, indulge in moderation. Don't settle for short term light, because it will become long term darkness. Fat is not sexy no matter how you look at it. Healthy is sexy, so acquire some restraint and self control, and eat a handful of raw almonds and call it a day. 

5. Don't Give the World a Status Update 

If you made the poor decision of publicly changing your relationship status, don't change it for a few days. If you're more of the impulsive type, at least don't change it to single. Simply remove your status altogether, but don't change it, because the last thing you need is the unwanted and unnecessary commentary that will go along with it. Don't make drastic or impulsive decisions based on temporary emotions.

6. Don't Become a Social Media Stalker

Don't stalk the person's social media accounts. This could only be damaging to yourself. Whether your relationship was terminated from your end or theirs, at all costs, avoid becoming a social media stalker. There's nothing that you need to see. If you feel the need to, kill the thought and move on. Don't delay your healing time. Do things to distract yourself from the person. Whenever you think of them, kill the thought.

7. Don't Make Contact

Don't call, text, or email the person. Pretty simple right? Um... most people fail in this area of post breakups. Seriously folks, there's no need to contact the other person, unless reconciliation is a factor. Relationships should be worked on when you're in them, not when they're over. Self-control is mandatory here. Of course you're likely used to the person, and you might even miss them terribly, but don't do it. Again, it all boils down to distraction.

8. Don't Negative Self-Talk

Don't put yourself down. Don't negative self-talk. Stay optimistic, and be kind to yourself. You are not only to blame for a breakup. In fact, many times no one is to blame, and it merely wasn't the best situation for you. When that little voice inside of your head tries to tell you that you're ugly, hopeless, a failure, or even that you're not good enough, let it to shut the f@!$ up and kill the thought. Remind yourself that you are indeed a catch, good enough, and beautiful inside and out. Think and speak kindly to and about yourself.