Sunday, July 26, 2015

Trying to Stay Positive, While Dating in the LA Scene

Are you tired of dating? Does it seem like you endlessly go out, trying to find the right girl or guy? Maybe you're the social butterfly that enjoys going out night after night, trying to pick up on girls/get picked up on by guys. Are you into the bar scene? I'm still unsure about what the bar scene is, to be honest with you. When I hear people talk about the "bar scene," I think of it as a place where people talk, flirt, get drunk, exchange numbers, and usually never end up being together long term, because "they met at a bar." Don't get me wrong, I've actually met someone who is married now that met her spouse at a bar. So it does happen, it's just not where I imagine meeting my future spouse. Does it really matter where you meet your future spouse? Um, well... It does to me! This brings me to the point of "are we being too picky." 

So we're old enough now and have figured out what we want, at least approximately, in our future spouse. Some things we're willing to put up with and some things were just not. Where do we draw the line as far as what were okay with and what we're not? Let's call them red flags, since most of us know the term. Red flags are like warning signs. You should never sweep a red flag under the rug. I used to put up with a few red flags and then peace out. Actually, I would see the red flags, three or more of them even, and I still wouldn't peace out, at first. As time went on, I realized that red flags don't go away and you have to live with those things that bother you forever, if you stay with this person. It actually took me quite a while before telling myself that a few red flags were okay, but any more than three, then it's like baseball, and you're out of there! At this point in my life, I can honestly say that one red flag is one too many. 

Let's get a better understanding about "what is a red flag and what isn't." When people say that red flags for you, might not be the same red flags for someone else, they're wrong. They're wrong because certain red flags are universally wrong and very, very red. People are always looking for a type of person that does certain things or acts in a particular type of way, but red flags are not the same as dating preferences. I'm going to set up a little quiz and let's see who gets it right. I'll post the answers at the bottom. Take it again and again, until you pass. My blog and I don't believe in losers. 

Here's the quiz:


1. When you go out to dinner, your date is rude to the servers, bus person, host, etc.

Red flag: yes or no 

2. If your date has kids and they meet you and you don't like them or they don't like you.

Red flag: yes or no

3. He/she is in a relationship with you, yet they still login to dating websites (yes some people do and have many reasons why they feel it's acceptable).

Red flag: yes or no

4. Your date passionately talks negatively about people, including his/her exes with much hatred and disgust. 

Red flag: yes or no

5. You can't stand the way your date dresses.

Red flag: yes or no

6. Your partner hates your family and doesn't want you to spend time with them.

Red flag: yes or no

7. You're in a relationship and your partner cheats on you.

Red flag: yes or no

8. Your date doesn't believe in monogamy and you do.

Red flag: yes or no

9. Your date criticises everything; from the food at dinner, to the clothes you wear, to the way you eat.

Red flag: yes or no

10. Your date gives you back handed compliments. For example, you're the biggest girl I've ever dated, but the most beautiful.

Red flag: yes or no

11. You see that you both don't ultimately want the same things in your future.

Red flag: yes or no

12. You're dating someone and you find out that they never want to have kids, but you do. 

Red flag: yes or no

13. Your partner lies (even white lies).

Red flag: yes or no

14. Your core values are night/day different from your date.

Red flag: yes or no

15. Your date picks you up with alcohol on their breath before the date.

Red flag: yes or no

16. Your date is a vegan.

Red flag: yes or no

17. You've been dating a person for a while. You see that you're the only person giving and putting effort into things. Dating them is starting to seem very one-sided. To top it off, the other person doesn't act appreciative or thankful.

Red flag: yes or no

Let's see how well you did! Here are the answers. 


1 - yes
2 - yes
3 - yes
4 - yes
5 - no
6 - yes
7 - yes
8 - yes
9 - yes
10 - yes
11 - yes
12 - yes
13 - yes
14 - yes
15 - yes
16 - no
17 - yes

I hope you all enjoyed this little quiz. Remember to stay positive and make good choices. Dating is never easy when you're in a rush. Be patient and love will come. Have a wonderful day and thank you for reading! 

Anne-Cohen
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