The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

The Instrument of Love Used for Instant Gratification

I've written before about the damage that having empty intimacy can provoke. I'm hoping to expand on that in this article, and go into more detail on why I feel it's better to wait to be intimate until you know that you're in love. Besides the obvious reasons that one should wait like preventing diseases, pregnancy, and many times becoming just another page in someone's book, there are other reasons as well. One reason could be that relationships that become solely based on intimacy, sex, and purely on a physical level won't last, and won't be as passionate. Waiting to become intimate until you're in an exclusive relationship and until you're in love is the best way to get the most out of any intimate act. Connecting with a person on an intimate level, and even more so to the extent of lovemaking can hold so much meaning when it's done right. Making love should always be routed from LOVE and out of developed feelings for a person. Becoming intimate with someone should never be based on feelings that empty intimacy usually entail, such as lack of true feelings, dishonesty, undeveloped love, lust, or empty fire, chemistry, and passion. 

When you've taken the time to develop true feelings for a person, putting the time and effort into getting to know them, as well as falling in love with them, sexual intercourse becomes love making. After that point, and the love making takes place, variety, spontaneity, different positions, and all else can be wild, crazy, and exciting, yet still all based on love. Instant gratification and hooking up quickly when dating someone new or jumping into a new relationship could leave you feeling empty, and dirty. As well, it will likely cross one or both of your minds at some point that maybe you should've waited until you'd gotten to know each other more, and had time to develop more intense feelings based on a strong and healthy foundation routed from love.

When you really love someone, and I mean truly love them, intimacy will be amazing, despite certain details that in other situations and scenarios you might tend to feel that it's lacking or as if something seems inadequate. Whether the inadequacy is because of a person's physique, the duration, the position, the spontaneity, or anything else, when it's out of love, and you truly love the person, it will be amazing! When you fall in love with someone and they love you back in the same manner, you will then know what I'm talking about. One can only describe so much how intense and passionate intimacy routed from true love can be. But, when it actually happens, it will put anything and everything that you've ever known to be great sex to shame.

When it comes to getting instant gratification from a lover, but not one that you're in love with, it's only going to provide you with a temporary high, a temporary fix, and a temporary relief. You may feel awesome in the moment, but when love isn't part of the act, it won't feel good for long. You should know this, you should teach this to your children, and you should be aware so that you don't cause discomfort and pain to anyone that might be developing feelings for you, despite the fact that you may not be feeling the same way for them. It's important not to lead people on in love, when you don't feel the same, and just because you might want that quick fix, and that immediate gratification that intimacy brings. Act selflessly in life and in love, and make sure that you're always on the same page as your partner. Let your feelings develop for your partner. Even if you believe it's okay to have premarital sex, do so when you have true feelings for a person, and you feel in love.