Friday, January 1, 2016

Changing Other People

Some people have a harder time than others when making changes or improvements in life. Not everyone likes change, and not everyone's willing to change. When it comes to improving oneself, that's always a good thing and I'm all for that! But, when it comes to changing qualities about yourself that are beautiful, but that someone else might not like, you shouldn't do it. I wrote this article to help people see that just because one person, or many perhaps don't like certain things about you, it doesn't mean that you should change those things, nor does it mean that those things aren't good just how they are. After having written that, I got reminded of some of the beauty that Fred McFeely Rogers shined on many of us. Boy, that was one beautiful soul. He promoted people loving themselves just how they are, and made them to feel special, despite how they looked, despite their differences of character, and despite any possible disabilities that they might've had. 

Many of us have gotten too accustomed to wanting to be like others that we've seen on television, in magazines, and anywhere else in the world. It's important that we change that pattern of thinking, and that we don't strive to be like others, or look like them either. But instead, we should try to embrace our own inner beauty, outer beauty, and all of our differences, because that's what makes us so special. I think that if "Mr. Rogers" was still around, he'd likely agree.

When it comes to dating and relationships, the right person for you is going to love you just how you are now. You shouldn't let anyone try to change you from who you are at your core. One of the most beautiful things in life is the fact that there are so many different, and beautiful people in this world. Your true love will accept you, and appreciate the true you, not some version of you that other people have made you into. There's no need to change yourself in order to please someone else, or to fit their into their lifestyle, and of what they think you should be like, so that they're happier. Everyone's always going to have an opinion on what they feel their match is supposed to be like. Just because they might be attracted to certain things about you, they shouldn't try to change the things that they don't like about you, in order to make you a better fit for them. That isn't right, and you shouldn't let them.

Of course, I'm not talking about those sweet, little things that we do in life when we have a partner or spouse. That's not exactly what I'm saying. I definitely believe in altering your lifestyle once you're at a place where you're trying to build a life with someone. If anything, I think that's a must, and I think that those types of changes and adjustments happen naturally. I'm more so talking about those qualities that you may have that some people find beautiful, and others, not so much. When it comes to changing little things that will improve yourself, I'm always for self improving. There's nothing wrong with making positive improvements in your life. However, when it comes to making changes in your life or doing anything that part of you doesn't really want to change, but someone else wants you to, that's different. 

Whether it's changing your hair color, changing your style of fashion, changing the way that you think, or anything else, you should only change yourself when it's something for the better, and when you're the one running the show so to speak. People shouldn't give you an ultimatum that you should change the way that you are or look, just for their own selfish reasons or preferences. As well, if anyone puts you down, picks on you, or tries to make you feel bad in any way, you shouldn't have to put up with that, and you should leave that situation, or walk away. People can only put you down as much as you let them. You have to do what you feel is right, and make the best decisions for yourself and for your life. 

You shouldn't try to be just like anyone else, because every single person has beautiful things about themselves that no one else has. You just have to find out what those things are, if by some chance you don't already know. You should always try to enhance your positives, and minimize your less than positives (or negatives, but you get the picture). It's important to remember that there will always be people who don't like certain things that you do, certain ways that you act, and certain ways that you look will not always be appealing to everyone. This is why it's important to have enough inner strength to be able to accept constructive criticism from others. You should be able to take constructive criticism just as well as you should be able to accept compliments. The problem that many people run into is that a lot of people aren't constructive when they criticize others, and they simply insult others in a humiliating manner, making them feel bad about themselves. There's nothing worse than a bully, and a person that's overly critical of others, without being constructive about it. 

We should all appreciate the beauty of each and every person as an individual. Like I said before, everyone carries a different type of beauty within themselves, and whether it's physical beauty, inner beauty, or whatever, it's beauty, and you should embrace everyone for their differences, and not try to change them into what you want them to be, or into how you feel they should be. When it comes to improving oneself, it's important for people to want to improve, and not to do so to please someone else. If someone's going to improve themselves or if they're going to improve their appearance in some way, it has to be because they want to do it themselves. People need to love themselves enough to appreciate all of the gifts that they have in life. Remember, there's only one you, and that makes you special. You don't need to be just like anyone else to be great, because you already are. For those that may not appreciate your greatness, they can peace out.