True love is obviously more than how one appears on the outside. Of that, I'm well aware. But, as you know, in this section we're concentrating more on the physical, and not just on the foundation of the relationship, as we do in the "Love and Relationships" section. As I'd mentioned in the previous article, there are a few things that are needed in order for couples to keep the passion alive. In this article, I want to touch base a bit on healthy lifestyle, sex appeal, and the infamous libido.
When I talk about having a healthy lifestyle, it's not about dieting or temporarily fixing a weight or health problem. I'm talking about making a change in your lifestyle that will be stable and continuous throughout your journey in life, and with your partner. It's important to understand how crucial living a healthy lifestyle can be when it comes to everything, including your romantic life.
Some people think of themselves as being very sexual, having a 10 out of 10 for sexual desire, an incredible thirst for intimacy, and a very high libido. But, the very same people that consider themselves all of that and more will end up becoming a 0 out of 10 on a sexual level when they don't take care of themselves by eating well, drinking well, and staying fit. People can literally lose their entire sex drive when they're on an empty stomach, when they diet too much, when they don't get an adequate amount of sleep, or possibly when they feel one of the ten things are lacking within the relationship. People have many needs in relationships. Feeling loved and having all of your other needs met in a relationship can be what's making your sex life semi or fully miserable or feeling as if it's lacking.
Sex appeal is something that we can always bring back when your relationship was built on a healthy foundation, and if at one time, the fire and chemistry was there. If the fire and chemistry was never there, there won't be anything to bring back. When two people spend a lot of time with one another, it's normal for the couple to start to become used to each other, and it's only during early dating that a relationship is new, exciting, and uncharted territory.
Sex appeal is something that anyone can have and develop, even when it doesn't come naturally. As well, sex appeal isn't just being sexy, seductive, and enticing, but it's declaring your sexual essence. You need to own it and bring out your sexy side when it doesn't come naturally.
The infamous libido
When it comes to how sexual a person is, and how high or low their libido is, everyone is different. You can expect that everyone will have the same sex drive as you. I know I'm gonna sound all mushy when I say this, and I might get kicked back into the "Love and Relationships" section, but sex should be based on LOVE, not lust. I believe that a couple can be wild, crazy, exciting, and fun together and have amazing lustful sex, BUT it should still always be based on love. As well, I believe in exclusivity, monogamy, and marriage. Now that I've said that, I'm gonna be kicked back to "Love and Relationships" for sure!
Now that you know my feelings on how intimacy should be based on love, I want to further express on why I feel this way. Empty sex is nothing. It means nothing. It expresses one thing, and one thing only, lust. Intimacy without love means nothing. I've heard people say that having sex makes them fall in love. As if they need to have sex first, and then they could fall in love. Wrong! Sex doesn't make anyone fall in love, it merely makes them think that it's love, but it's not love. It's merely that person trying to get what they want in that moment. It's that person feeding into their hormones, without feeling connected to the other person, other than on a physical level.
When people have sex without being in love first, that sex will be solely based on desire, passion, and lust brought on by chemistry. Sex brings closeness, and closeness is good right? Wrong again! Not all closeness is pure, genuine, and will bring two people closer. Sex doesn't bring people closer, unless there are enough genuine feelings there to begin with. I don't believe anyone should have sex unless they are in love period.
When it comes to knowing whether or not another person's libido is high or not, that's something that a person will find out at the right time, and it shouldn't even be discussed until two people have already developed feelings for one another. I've literally had someone ask me on a first phone call how my libido was. All I could think was, "Good L-rd!" I obviously didn't go out with that guy. My point is that there's a time and a place for that conversation when and if it's had.
When a situation is right, feels right, and when a person's intentions are pure, and not solely based on the goal of sleeping with someone, they won't make the conversation about your libido and how sexual you are their main focus, and definitely not early on. There's something called patience which is a valuable attribute in life, and in love. The best way to know what another person's libido is like is to get to know them, connect with them on other levels (not just physical or sexual), feel their essence, and their sexual energy will naturally build, as the feelings between you build, and soon enough, you'll just know.