The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Flirting vs. Being Too Friendly (Part 2)

Some people feel that they need to flirt at their job or they feel that within the field that they work in, flirting is something that has to be done in order to achieve their goals, get a client, or sell something. When you have to flirt with people in order to get what you want, what you're selling is likely not as good as you're trying to make it sound, or possibly not good at all. Don't get me wrong, what you're selling or what you're trying to get people to do might be pretty fantastic, but when you can't sell it without flirting, then it's not as good as you might think. As well, I think that we all know that something that's really good doesn't even need marketing, it sells itself. As far as dating people, before getting into it an exclusive relationship, flirting is not only good, but it should be mandatory in luring your partner in. 

Sometimes people act "too friendly" and it's misinterpreted by their partner or spouse as flirting. It's important to be careful while in a relationship not to act too friendly to the wrong types of people, despite the trust that you have with your partner. The thing that's worse than acting too friendly or flirting with other people when you're in a relationship is that when their partner questions them about it, they accuse their partner of being jealous, and as well, accuse them of not trusting them, or giving them the benefit of the doubt. I've thought long and hard about this subject, and I've dated a flirt, and I've dated a cheater. Having said that, I can honestly tell you one statement that you will either bite on or not. A good and loving partner will never even consider flirting with another person when they're in a relationship or married. Not only that, but a truly decent and loving partner would even get turned off by the thought of it. That doesn't mean that if someone else was flirting with them, they wouldn't feel flattered, because I'm sure they would, and there's nothing wrong with that. 

When someone starts to flirt with you and starts giving you compliments, etc., you can let them know that you feel flattered, but be very direct and let them know as well, that you're in a relationship or married. The worst thing that you can do when someone gives you flattery when you're in a relationship, is give it back to them by showing them flattery as well, or flirting back. Either way, they could end up misinterpreting your flattery, and think that you're interested. The person that initially started flattering you or flirting with you, might not only have taken your flattery towards them in a different way, but they might have ulterior motives or other intentions than what's going on within your pure mind. It's better to not even go there, or put yourself in a position where someone could misinterpret your intentions. Take the compliment, accept the flattery gracefully, and move along. 

I've met a handful of people in my lifetime, some that were even happily married, that would be incredible flirts. They would flirt with every person of the opposite sex, and their spouse or partner would be well aware of it. They knew their partner so well, and they were not only okay with their partner being a flirt, but they viewed it as part of their charm. In this case, there's nothing wrong with flirting when you're in a relationship or married. As long as you're not only comfortable with your partner's actions when it comes to flirting with others, but you view it as part of their charm, then by all means, let them flirt! By no means, and I mean none whatsoever, does a situation like this compare with the things that I've previously written in this article. 

When your partner doesn't have that type of rare appreciation for someone that will be flirting with every other person that they meet while in a committed relationship or marriage, by no means does this mean that your partner is insecure or distrusting of you. You need to change your actions if you're like that. It's not your partner that needs to change and develop more security within themselves. Your partner isn't in need of trusting you more. You have to make the change and stop flirting with everyone that you meet. Show your partner some respect, like they show you. Showing true kindness to other people could never be mistaken for flirting. Therefore, being too friendly isn't appropriate when you're in an exclusive relationship, the same way that flirting is inappropriate. There's simply no excuse for being too friendly or flirting with others when you're in a relationship, unless it's the situation that I've previously mentioned where it's viewed by their partner as part of their charm. 

There are some people who can be amazing flirts when they're single, but when they're in a relationship, their partner is the only person that they'll be flirting with. This goes for men and women equally. We all know what's appropriate and inappropriate when we're in a relationship. We all instinctively know when we're crossing the line and taking being a kind human being to a level that's within question of us acting too friendly or flirting. Remember, the last thing that you ever want to do is make your partner feel uncomfortable, and that should be your priority when you're in a relationship or married. You should care about how your partner feels enough, not to provoke them.