The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Flirting vs. Being Too Friendly (Part 1)

Many of us are flirts, have dated flirts, are dating one right now, or are the type that gets totally enthralled with flirts. Many people use flirting as part of their charm, and many do so as a way to tease, and let someone know that they're interested in them. Some people get carried away and flirt with people when they're in a relationship. That's a level of flirting that I find to be inappropriate. When you're in a relationship, the only person that you should flirt with is your partner, and if you're lucky, you're the only person that they'll be flirting with as well. Sometimes people act "too friendly" to people, and the person that they're being too friendly with will think that they're flirting with them, and many times other people noticing will think so as well. But in your mind, you're just being too friendly. I wrote this article to share my thoughts on flirting and being too friendly, and what's appropriate and inappropriate to do when you're in a relationship. 

I'm well aware that many people have different opinions on this, so they can read this article, going in one ear and out the other, or they can try to understand and let some of this resonate. When you're dating someone exclusively (in a relationship), there's no need to lure in other people to make them like you, and that's exactly what flirting does. Therefore, you shouldn't be flirting with other people when you're in a relationship. Many times people flirt in order to get what they want or to lure people in, but when you're dating someone exclusively, you shouldn't do that any longer. Some people view themselves as flirts and that's all fine and dandy, but when you're in a relationship, there's a certain respect that you're supposed to give to your partner, and they're supposed to give that respect back to you as well. 

There are some people out there that feel that flirting is part of their job, and they won't make as much money, or be in as high of a position in their work or field if they don't flirt with people. I'm still trying to figure out if that's prostitution or advertising. I truly believe that people that flirt at work and in their jobs in order to get to a higher position or make more money are not only doing something wrong, but it could lead them down a bad trail, and cause problems in their relationship or marriage, if they're not careful. Even when a person is very strong willed, knows themself well, and is 100% sure that they would never cheat on their partner or spouse, they're still not only taking a risk, but putting themselves in a position that could lead to something toxic. 

If you get caught up in a mentality that it's okay to flirt with people at work, etc., when you're in a relationship or despite being in a relationship, you might be setting yourself up for problems down the line. Many problems could arise by being "too friendly." A few problems could be that the person that you're flirting with ends up developing feelings for you, you could end up developing feelings for them, a person that you're flirting with could become psycho crazy and obsessed with you, and many other things. When you truly care about your partner or your spouse, the last thing that you'd ever want to do is hurt them and their feelings. It's one thing to have a very honest, open book, and trusting relationship, but it's another thing to do things that could provoke your trusting, completely compatible, beautiful, and loving partner to feel jealous, inferior, insecure, angry, or hurt. The last thing that you ever want to do when you truly love someone is hurt them in anyway. If anything, when you really love the person that you're with, you become willing to go out of your way to make sure that your partner is happy and that you never hurt them.