Saturday, October 24, 2015

Dating: Venting to Others (Part 1)

Everyone has good and bad times during the dating period, in relationships, and throughout marriage. During the bad times, or let's refer to them as the hard, or challenging times, we feel the need to vent out our frustrations, and feelings. Sometimes when we argue or disagree with our partner, we don't always feel heard, or understood, and it can be very frustrating. I wrote this article to go over why people shouldn't be open book about their relationship to other people, whether strangers, family, or friends.

When you disagree with your partner on things, have arguments, or fights, you want your partner to agree with what you're saying, thinking, and feeling. Sometimes, when they don't agree with you, you want to prove to yourself, as well as, get an outside opinion from someone else, to prove that your way, you're thinking, and your view on the situation is right. When you feel that way, and you choose to go to someone on the outside, you're opening the door to causing more possible problems within the relationship that you have with your partner. 

When you're married, it's a little bit different, and there are times when you should go to an outsider, like a therapist, your families, etc. But, those are very particular cases when a couple is having troubles in their marriage, and they need to either let the family know, or get an outsider's opinion. However, even in that situation, both partners are aware of the fact that they're going to someone outside, and confiding in them, because they're going to them as a couple, not alone, or behind their partner's back. 

When you're dating someone or in a relationship, and you start involving an outsider, like a friend, family member, or just anyone that you choose to involve, you're not helping your relationship, but you're harming it. Don't get me wrong, there are some things, and some times when it is okay to get an outsider's opinion, without your partner being aware of it. But, I'm more so referring to the times when you're having a dispute, or some type of disagreement with your partner, and then going to an outsider, asking advice, venting, or sharing your feelings about how frustrated you are. 

When you're having an argument with your partner, it's important to remember that your partner is supposed to be your best friend in the whole, wide world. They are the person that you should confide in, work out your problems with, and share your feelings with about what's going on. I always write about the importance of marrying your best friend, and this is a good example of why. When you marry your best friend, you should be able to work out your problems better, have the best possible communication, and you should be able to argue with each other, and know exactly what it takes to make up with one another.