The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Spontaneous Love

When it comes to being spontaneous, we tend to think of someone that lives on the edge, goes with the flow, and is more of a free bird type of person. Of course, there are different levels to a person being spontaneous. A person can be a little spontaneous and still be considered spontaneous. As well, people can be very spontaneous or simply not spontaneous at all. I'd probably view myself as somewhat spontaneous, but maybe that's because I'm getting older now. I think that the younger we are, the more spontaneous we are. Having said that, I've met some older people that were more spontaneous than I ever was, even in my teenage years. I believe that being spontaneous is an incredible quality. People that are spontaneous are usually the types that are easy to be around. Spontaneous people usually don't make little things a big deal and are easy-going. Sometimes, spontaneous people are a little over-the-top and impulsive in their actions. Being too much of anything can get you into trouble, if you're not careful. Remember, moderation is the key to happiness.

I truly believe that being spontaneous is a really good thing when you don't get too carried away. It's always good to weigh out the positives and negatives of a decision you're about to make, and especially, when that decision is a spontaneous and last minute one. When people act in extreme ways, impulsively, and too spontaneous, they end up facing many unfortunate consequences that they wouldn't ordinarily have had to face if they'd thought things out more, prior to their impulsive behavior. People can be spontaneous and have an exciting life, filled with many surprises, and still do it in a way where they don't have to risk things and face so many unnecessary consequences that they might not be happy with.

For example, let's say that someone asks you on a last minute date and you don't have plans yet, but you're nowhere near ready. The spontaneous thing to do would be to get ready very quickly and go on the date. That's an example of someone being spontaneous, without going overboard. An example of taking spontaneity out on a limb would be if a first date asks you to meet them in Vegas for a big holiday weekend that's coming up. Meeting someone halfway in a situation like that, could end in some serious consequences. So many things could go wrong, when you live your life like a free bird. I suppose being too spontaneous could be a person's preference and way of life. But, I personally don't live my life that way and I don't want to promote living life in a manner that's impetuous, extreme, and impulsive. I believe that there are too many risks involved when a person is too spontaneous.

When you're dating a spontaneous person and you're not as spontaneous as them, things can get complicated if you're not an easy-going type of person. Let's say that a man asks a woman out for a last-minute date, leaving her only a half hour to get ready. As well, let's assume that she had no plans for the evening, and she was really looking forward to meeting him. She can do one of two things and still be considered spontaneous. She can accept the date and get ready like the speed of lightning, but probably not look as gorgeous as she might if she had some time to plan. The other thing that she could do would be to see if he's free the next evening or soon after, because it's too short of notice for her to get ready. Besides, even if she decides not to go out that same evening (with a half hours' notice), the benefit is that the feelings and excitement will build up for the date when they go out the following night. Making a date on the night before the actual date is still very spontaneous. The woman could have easily postponed meeting her date until later in the week or another time completely. In a case like that, she wouldn't appear to be as interested in the man, or seem very enthusiastic to meet him. As well, she'd likely come off to him as more of the planning type, and anything but spontaneous. 

One of the best things about spontaneous people is that they're less judgmental. Every situation that I've ever been in that was involving someone else's spontaneity, I'd never have enough time to get ready, and look my best. I wouldn't look as clean cut and polished as I would've, if a date or whatever it was, was planned. Having said that, I love the fact that spontaneous people rarely judge others when they're less than perfect in appearance. I think they're too busy appreciating the fact that the person was so cool and easy going to go out with them last minute. At that point, you suddenly get viewed as a spontaneous type of person, when in fact you may be nothing of the sort. Whenever someone thinks that I'm spontaneous, I just smile and say thank you, realizing that I'm really trying to be spontaneous, and it doesn't come as natural to me as I'd like. Unfortunately, I'm not as spontaneous as I'd like to be, but I still try to be open-minded about it, and when things come up that are a little risky, I consider them, and then make the best decision for myself. 

When someone has kids, they get viewed at as if they're less spontaneous. Some people with kids are more spontaneous than people without kids. However, I believe that those people are a rare find. Generally speaking, when people have kids, they have to think of all of their kids' needs first and put their own personal desires second, or on hold. Although, being spontaneous means having last-minute trips to Disneyland, so kids can actually benefit from spontaneity as well. To the people that think that because they have children they can no longer be spontaneous, I totally disagree with them. You can be as spontaneous as you want to be, as long as you have an open mind. Having kids shouldn't make people less spontaneous. It should only bring more people into the equation. People with kids can still do many last minute things. Having kids is a blessing and creates opportunities to do even more fun, spontaneous things, including having many wonderful adventures, but with the pleasure of seeing the enjoyment and excitement in their children's eyes. It can be even better to be spontaneous when you have kids.

To all of the people out there that are dating, in a relationship, or married with children, remember that being spontaneous is awesome. But, being considerate in giving your partner some notice, as well as planning dates with them, can be wonderful too. For those people that aren't very spontaneous, it's important to become aware of that, and try to be a little more open minded when you have a partner that is spontaneous. It's important that both people in a relationship are happy and that involves "give and take." Keep in mind that you can be spontaneous and also be a planner.

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