The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Monday, September 21, 2015

Jealous Friends That Secretly Want You to Fail: See You Later Hater

Have you ever noticed that some friends that you might acquire within your life tend to suddenly wither away and become distant? Have you ever wondered why some friends go from being so close to you, to barely being in touch with you. How about the fact that those friends stay your friend on social media. Sometimes, people that we think are friends, are nothing of the sort. It's unfortunate that I find the need to bring this to people's attention, but there's a lot of truth in what I'm saying. On occasion, we make friends that are amazing, decent people, and they truly want the best for us in life. Having said that, on the occasion as well, we come across people that don't have the best intentions for us and secretly want us to fail. You might ask yourself, "Why would anyone want me to fail?" The answer to that can be quite complex. People might not necessarily want you to fail, but they don't want you to have more happiness than they're having in their life. 

It's unfortunate, but there are many envious and jealous people out there who would rather see you miserable, than in utter happiness. That's why it's important to be cautious with who you bring in close to your life. It's important to be careful when picking friends and people that you spend a lot of time with. It's like I always say in relationships, "It's better to be alone, than with the wrong person." The same saying goes for having friends. I've always believed that it's better to have less friends, but good ones. It's one thing to be very sociable and to make many acquaintances and network with people. That's all fine and dandy, but when it comes to making sincere, solid friendships, it's important to be very selective with whom you choose to bring into your life. 

When people tell me that they have no friends, I question whether they're even trying to make new friends or not. There are so many places that people can meet new people and have the possibility of developing new friendships. The second that you walk out of the house every morning, there's a possibility of making a new friend. If you're wondering if someone you randomly meet can turn into a really good friendship one day, there's only one way to find out, and that's by giving it a shot. You can meet people anywhere you go, whether it's getting a cup of coffee down the street, on your lunch break, at an event, or anywhere really. It simply depends upon how picky you are with bringing people into your life and finding people that you have common interests with, etc. If you're looking to make a new friend that you might have common interests with, you should try to do activities and things that you're interested in, and try to make new friends there. Like I said, making new friends is easy, when you put a little effort into it. Just keep in mind that you shouldn't get too close to any new friends, until you get a chance to know them a little better. 

There's no sense in opening up fully to a person that you just met. Having said that, you should be an open book, and have an open heart towards meeting new people. I've never been a fan of people that are in clicks. When I was young, I admired people that had that small group of friends that they could always depend on, like they portray in Sex and the City. I almost never had a group of friends like that, that were always there for you at a time of need, because I moved around so much growing up. I've always had one or two really good friends in every state and place that I've lived, and I'm thankful for that. Like I said, you really don't need more than one or two good friends that will be there for you and vice versa. The reason I don't like clicks isn't because I was never included in one, because I was temporarily included in one in Los Angeles. I must say, being included in a click when you're not brought up with the people in it, as they predominantly are, can be a lot of fun. The problem with being in a click is that clicks are usually closed off to making new friends. When one of the people in a click wants to bring a new friend into the click, they need the approval of all the other people in the group. Otherwise, things might start to get complicated, and it would cause turbulence in the group, and the person that you're trying to befriend will end up not being included. That can be hurtful to the new friend and to you, when you like this new friend a lot.

There's an old saying that goes, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." When you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. The reason you'd want to keep your enemies closer than your friends is because you want to know if there's something under their sleeve, and you don't want to provoke someone that doesn't like you. The last thing that you'd want to do to someone who doesn't like you or is on your bad side, is aggravate them even more. You never want to put fire on the fire. Of course, there's only so much that you can do to prevent a person from becoming jealous or envious of you and things that you do in your life. It's kind of like a lose lose situation when it comes down to it. You can start hiding things and not sharing things with a person that doesn't like you, but if they ever found out that you were hiding things from them, it might be even worse, than if you were just straightforward from the beginning, and kept them out of your life and at a distance. 

Many people have a different opinion when it comes to whether or not to keep your enemies closer than your friends. In my opinion, I'd rather put as much distance as possible from any enemies that I might have. When there's someone that doesn't like me or that I don't like that's in my life, I try to distance that person as much as possible in any way that I can. I have no interest in keeping negativity and toxic relationships in my life. I simply have no room for toxicity in my life, and I only want to keep loving, happy, and healthy relationships. I truly believe that that's the best policy for me and for many people. I don't see what the point is in wondering and worrying whether or not someone is secretly wishing bad upon you or giving you the bad or evil eye. I think it's better to remove those friends of yours from social media, etc., and live your life much freer than you have been. When you start distancing people from your life that aren't bringing you happiness, joy, and positivity, your life will become almost like a blank, clean slate, and you'll feel much more refreshed and lighter. 

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