The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Help! My Best Friend Is Dating a Bitch

The scenario: 

I've had the same best friend for 20 years. He's one of the best people that I know. He's a kindhearted, educated, attractive, and an incredibly charismatic guy. I talk about him in such a way that you'd think I was in love with him. Funny, but I'm not that kind of guy! My friend met this girl at a singles event and he's been dating her for months, and now he's thinking of popping the big question. The problem is that the girl seems like she's using him and acts like a snobby bitch. She's the type of girl that's gorgeous and gets people to fall in love with her instantly. She knows what to say and how to dress, as well as how to get under people's skin. I simply can't stand this girl and she might end up marrying my best friend. I feel like she secretly hates me and she's taking me away from him, by not letting him hang out with his guy friends, even if she comes along. I might've liked her, if she was warmer to me and didn't act so controlling of him, not to mention her materialistic and arrogant attitude. Help! What can I do so I don't lose my best friend? 

Oh, the struggle between letting your friend have his happiness and you feeling happy yourself. In this scenario, the friend is in a very difficult predicament. On one hand, he doesn't want to be a bad friend and break up his friends happy relationship, if he's truly happy. Despite that he's personally not happy about their relationship, if he truly cares about his friend, then he's going to want his happiness more than his own. The best suggestion I could say would be to try to get on the girl's good side, if it's important enough to have his friend in his life for the long-term. There are so many couples that go through situations like this and many times the friend gets left behind. It's unfortunate, but true. It doesn't have to be that way though. 

The truth is, his best friend's girlfriend and possible future fianc√©, should be warm and loving to her boyfriend's friends and anyone that's an important part of his life. The girl in this scenario should be warm and embrace her boyfriend's friendship, because it's likely also very important to her boyfriend, and not just to his best friend. However, we can't change other people nor change the way that they think or act. The most we can do is try to adjust ourselves to the situation, and do it in the least selfish way possible. Again, you don't want to take away your best friend's happiness, so you should kill the thought of trying to break them up! As well, you don't need to have bickering, one-up matches with his girlfriend, because that will get you nowhere and eventually, you will be the one in the doghouse with your best friend. 

The only thing you can do is embrace their relationship and try to be sweet to her. I know that might be difficult to do, being that she's so bitchy. But, what are your options! By doing something sweet or acting sweet, I'm basically saying to "kill her with kindness." Make sure your kindness is genuine and not sarcastic, because bitches can see right through that nonsense. It's not your job to make her happy, but if you want to be a part of his life, then you have to accept her as well. So try to find out things about her that you like, and concentrate on those things, as opposed to thinking about all of the things you despise about her. Over time, you'll adjust to their relationship and hopefully my advice will help, and you won't lose your best friend over this. Losing a best friend can be worse than some break ups, because they can truly cause an immense amount of heartache. I hope you got the gist of this article. If not, I'm basically telling you to embrace the bitch, so you don't hurt or lose your best friend.