The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Monday, August 31, 2015

Why Isn't He Responding?

The scenario:

You went out on a date. You both really liked each other. Everything seemed to flow nicely and he said that he's really into you. He's called and texted with you since the date, but he hasn't officially asked you out again. You really like this guy and are starting to feel impatient why he's not asking you out again. You decided to confide in a friend and get some advice on the situation to see if they have any ideas why he's not calling. They basically told you that there's nothing wrong with giving a man a call or texting him after a date to say whats up. You still tried to wait a couple of days before contacting him, with hopes that he would take the initiative and call and ask you first. Keep in mind, he's called you after the date and you guys have been communicating via text. Nonetheless, you start to grow impatient, waiting for him to ask you out again. You take the plunge and send him a text. "I really had fun with you. Are you busy this weekend?" Okay, so he seems to be busy right now, because he's not responding yet. An hour passes and you start to get weak knees and all you're thinking about is why isn't this guy responding. After all, it's been an hour! Okay, you decided to text him again. This time you say, "Is everything okay? Did you get my text?" You notice that he opened your text message, but still no response (you both have iPhone's). For those of you that have iPhone's, you can tell when someone opens up your text. Okay, so he must be busy, right? You decide to continue on with your day and take a shower, get dressed, and then you peek at your phone again. What! Still no response! Okay, something's wrong, you think. Why isn't he texting me back? Didn't he like me? You start to become concerned if he's peacing out or ignoring you. You're clearly feeling impatient waiting for his response. So you text him again, and again, and again. Oh boy! Now you're afraid you've texted him too much. Um, you have! Finally, her first date sends her a text at some point that same evening. It reads something like, "I had a really good time with you the other night. But, I don't feel we're the right match and I don't really have the time to date right now."

What went wrong? Well, for starters, during early dating, the man must take the lead. He must ask the woman out on a second date. She doesn't need to remind him that she's alive and available. He knows you're available. He knows how to call you and ask you out. You told him that you had a good time on your date. So if he wants to ask you out again, he will. This woman clearly showed no patience in letting her date pursue her. A man needs to pursue a woman. You shouldn't be asking a guy out for a second date. It makes you seem needy, impatience, and desperate. A man takes pleasure in going after what he wants and then finally conquering it. During early dating, the man should take the lead, as far as asking you out again, texting, and calling you. If he's interested in you, he'll call you. In that scenario, he might've actually asked you out again, but you were so impatient. He didn't like how you appeared to be so aggressive and in a hurry. He was probably busy working, doing errands, on a work call, or whatever it was, he was busy. You don't want to come across to him as needy. Where's your confidence! He should be wondering where you're at and trying to pin you down for a date! Be patient, jumping bean!

A woman needs to be patient and see if a man is interested, after a first date. If he's interested enough, he will make the time to see you and ask you out again. But, it has to come from him! A woman shouldn't sit around waiting for a man to call. She should be independent and go about her daily life. She shouldn't be sitting home over-thinking things. She should keep herself busy. A woman needs to have enough confidence in herself and know that when a man is interested, he will will go after her. If he's not interested, he'll tell her, peace out, or make excuses. After the first few dates, I believe it's okay to contact each other more comfortably. After all, the idea is to have a normal relationship, where you can call each other freely, whenever you want. I don't believe this method to be considered game playing. I believe it's simply a man taking the lead and the woman following his lead. Once it's established that you both like each other and have gone out a few times, then call at your leisure. But, under no circumstance should you sit there by the phone waiting for him to call and ask you out again! In that scenario, the guy said that he was interested, said that he had fun on your date, and had even called to chat and texted you since the date. How she could think he wasn't interested is beyond me. She was just insecure and didn't have patience. Next time she'll know better than to ask him out for a second date.

I understand that many people would disagree with my methods and opinions, being that women these days are taking the lead more and more. I just simply don't agree with it. I believe there's something special about that old fashioned, romantic, courting period where a man acts like a respectable gentleman and a woman acts like a pristine, poised, feminine lady. I think it's a beautiful way of courtship and I hope to bring back some of it's beauty by sharing my articles.