The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Thursday, August 27, 2015

The Voice Test, Before a First Date

Would you be open to dating someone that you never spoke to? Let's say that you met someone online or you're being set up on a blind date. Would you talk to them on the phone before meeting? Many times people meet someone online or are set up, etc. and they never have a first conversation on the telephone before meeting. Many times, they'll even text back and forth or send emails to each other, but still never speak on the phone. Within a moment of hearing someone's voice on the phone, you can tell a lot. There's a lot behind someone's voice. 

Sometimes people's voices annoy you and you can't stand them. If you think about it, when you were in your mother's womb, she likely would talk and sing, and you'd hear her voice echo inside her womb. You got used to your mother's voice and it's likely, that her voice doesn't annoy you. The same goes for people that have been in your life for a long period of time, like family, siblings, etc. I think it's so important that two people have a conversation before actually meeting in person. If you don't like a person's voice and energy on a first phone call, you'll know right off the bat that it's not going to go anywhere, and there's no need to actually meet.

There doesn't need to be a long, lengthy conversation, but enough to get an idea if their voice annoys you, their voice is pleasant to you, and more than anything, you should get an idea if you're both dating with the same intentions, and want similar things. Having a first phone call doesn't have to be an uncomfortable thing. However, that may be what you're experiencing, which is making you avoid that first conversation. Some people tend to get a little shy during that first conversation, and even on the first date. There's nothing wrong with being a little shy at first. This is a new situation and it takes time to feel comfortable with one another. As long as you're not too shy, that you don't speak. The more you talk with one another, the more comfortable you'll get, and the more that you'll be able to see if you're a good match or not. 

I've literally not gone on first dates, because I didn't like the sound of someone's voice. I've had people call and leave messages, because I couldn't get to the phone quick enough, and I got to hear their voice. All I could say was, "Yikes!" Some voices I'm simply not compatible with. I truly believe that this goes for everyone. Funny or not, a lot of people joke about a woman talking a lot and a man tuning her out, when they've been together for a long time. The truth is, it can be funny, but no woman wants her man to tune her out. Having said that, it's important that a man loves the sound of his woman's voice. If he's hoping to have a certain type of woman that has a feminine, soft-spoken, innocent voice, then he should be aware of it on that first phone call. If you're a woman and you want a certain type of voice in a man, and you hear him speak, and it doesn't sit well with you, there's no need to go on a first date. Why waste anyone's time, money, and give them hopes that there's an actual chance, when you already know that you can't stand their voice. 

This is a simple, and easy way to know whether or not to accept a first date. Don't get me wrong, it's not the only thing you look for on the first phone call. You really have to talk a little bit and get to know one another on the phone, before setting up a first date. There doesn't need to be many phone calls before a first date, because you don't know if there's going to be chemistry and attraction. If there's no chemistry and attraction, there's no need for all of that wasted time with phone calls back and forth, before the actual first date. If you're the type of person that lives their life as if it's always good to meet another person and get to know new people, then by all means, have many phone calls before a first date. However, if you're dating with marital intentions and hoping to find "the one" and soon, you might as well have one phone call before a first date, and then see if there's any attraction when you meet. After the first date, the phone calls and the text messages should just flow. 

It's important to remember to have that first initial phone call before going on a first date. If you do, you can see if you like the sound of each other's voice, if your conversation flows, or if you're constantly interrupting each other, and not letting the other person get a word in. I think it's very important to have a first phone call, and not just meet for drinks and talk then. You'd be surprised how many people are willing to meet you, without having a telephone conversation first. I've done that myself a couple of times, and I won't be doing it again. That first phone call truly gives you an idea about the person. It puts a voice with the picture you've been looking at when you meet online. Remember, do the voice test, before a first date, and you'll be in a much better position to date them.