Saturday, August 29, 2015

The Power of Saying You're Sorry

We all make mistakes in life. There are times when we feel remoreseful for something we've done wrong. When you do something that you feel bad about, causing someone else pain, it's important to tell them that you're sorry. If you truly love someone or simply care about their well-being, and you know that you've caused them pain, it's important to let them know that you feel bad for causing them distress. It's never good to hurt other people. Even if you're hurting someone you don't love or care about, you shouldn't hurt someone's feelings. 

Many times in the Internet these days, people act like there's no soul behind a comment or a picture, and they're completely wrong. Sometimes it's easier to say cruel or mean things to others on the Internet that you wouldn't normally say to their face in person. Many times it's easier for people to say whatever they want to someone online, because they figure that they'll never actually meet the person. The missing piece that I'm afraid many people don't understand, is that they're causing others pain and hurting their feelings, despite ever actually seeing them in person. Being cruel is being cruel, no matter how you look at it. Insulting a person that you've never met, doesn't make it any less of a cruel action than if you'd actually met them. People that leave comments online, should only be complimentary to the thing they're commenting on, or they should have the decency to politely disagree with whatever it was. If I don't like something, I don't give it a thumbs up, I don't comment, and I move on. I don't understand why people can be so cruel that they can comment mean things on pictures of other people. It's not like they're disagreeing with a person's political opinions and commenting theirs. It's a picture for goodness sake! 

When you're dating someone, in a relationship, or married, there will be moments when you hurt each other's feelings intentionally or unintentionally. Either way, hurt feelings shouldn't be swept under the rug. If you've done or said anything to hurt another person, or your loved one especially, you should be remorseful and apologize for hurting them. Let's say that you feel you're not wrong about something and the other person is still hurt. In that case, I still believe that you should apologize for hurting them, even though you didn't mean to, and even though you feel you're not wrong about what happened. 

Sometimes people are very sensitive and feel hurt/pain easier than others. In that case, try to be understanding of that, and that they're different than you in that way, and apologize when they feel you've hurt them. Of course, it all has to be within reason and it depends on the situation. For example, if someone wants to date you and you let them know that you're not interested, but they don't seem to get the message. Despite, how you were courteous enough to be polite and kind, while telling them that you weren't interested, they still are hurt and feel that you've caused them grief and pain. In that case, you shouldn't have to repeatedly tell the person that you're sorry for causing them so much pain. After one time telling them, if they don't get the message, then you've done all that you can. At that point, that person will be causing you stress and grief for not letting the situation go. After all, you were brutally honest and clear about not wanting to be with them, and you handled it in a kind and appropriate manner. There are many scenarios I could share, but the main point is that even when you've done nothing wrong to someone, yet they feel pain from something you've done, it's still good to apologize.

When you feel you've done nothing wrong, you don't have to apologize. But, you can still be understanding, sensitive, and apologetic. You could say something like, "I'm sorry you're feeling pain." You could also say something like, "The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you, I'm sorry." You can even try to say, "I'm sorry you're feeling hurt, that wasn't my intention." You can come up with your own things to say to show someone that you're sorry that they're hurting. I understand that many people don't want to bother apologizing, especially when they feel they've done nothing wrong. I've been there myself! However, it takes a really big person to be able to apologize when they've caused someone pain or distress. For many people, it's easy to turn a page in life and let go of the past, when you're not the one hurt. But, if you know that someone else is hurt by something you've done, said, or by simply not wanting to be with you anymore, it's always nice to let them know that you're sorry for hurting them. It's actually quite easy and doesn't take much time at all. 

A person doesn't necessarily have to forgive you for something that they feel you've done wrong. It doesn't change the fact that you should still be apologetic to them for causing any pain. We are all human and we all have feelings. We should love each other and care about each other's well-being, despite whether or not we want to continue dating someone. The power of saying I'm sorry can do so much. If you think about it, when someone tells you that they're sorry for something they've done wrong, and they sound genuine about it, it relieves some of, or even, all of the pain that you're feeling. 

It's so imperative that we nip things in the bud. When you know someone's upset about something and they're feeling hurt by something you've said or done, you should apologize sooner, rather than later. If someone sits on hurt feelings for too long, it could become a wound. Once a person has an emotional wound, it can be harder to make peace with them about the situation. Sometimes people get quiet when they're upset and sit on their anger or hurt. If you know that a person gets like that when they're upset, apologize to them for upsetting them. Don't let a person sit on those hurt feelings for too long, especially the quiet ones, because there may be an emotional explosion later. So remember to nip it in the bud. 

When someone hurts me in some way by something they've said or done, I let them know, and if they apologize right off the bat, I forgive them. As well, I feel better and less hurt by what they've said or done. When someone doesn't apologize to me when they've said or done something to hurt me, even if they didn't intend to, I'll end up sitting with the hurt feelings, it could turn into anger, I might get cold, and the pain could stay with me for a long period of time. At that point, I'll have to work on myself to become even stronger than I was, being that I had to deal with the hurt all by myself. In a situation like that, all it would really take is the right kind of apology. An apology shouldn't have to be demanded or expected, but a person should want to apologize, especially, when they care about the person and don't want them to feel pain. I hope you're all having a happy, healthy weekend. To all of those that I've caused pain in my life, in anyway, I'm sorry.