Thursday, December 18, 2014

Behind the Lens

Am I the only mom that cries or gets tears in her eyes during her child's school performances? I find so much beauty in the shows my kids do. It makes me so emotional. Most of the parents in the school's auditorium have some type of default expression on their faces when watching their kids perform. It's very rare to see any parents with a huge grin on their face and tears in their eyes while watching. I've occasionally seen a grin (many times hidden behind an iPhone or an iPad they're recording from). However, I've never really seen any other parents getting all worked up the way I do.

Whether it's good or bad, this is how I am. I'm a passionate and sensitive girl. I've always been this way, even as a child. Sometimes, I see similarities in myself and in the role of the mother from a movie called, "While You Were Sleeping." This mother cried at everything, whether it was something happy or sad. She was sensitive and when other people would see her get so emotional, they'd likely smile, and think she was cute and funny or have an awkward expression on their face (basically letting her know that she's unusual for being so emotional). The actor who portrayed Midge was Micole Mercurio. She's a phenomenal actress. This is actually my favourite movie for many reasons. Midge's character portrayed her having a bubbly personality with a beautiful soul. Many other characters in this movie showed warm, loving, and sensitive hearts as well. This movie is definitely in my top 5.  

It's possible I get so emotional because all of the kids are so darn cute! Maybe watching them reminds me of when mine were little. Every show they perform, they grow so much and improve so beautifully. Maybe I'm like this because I go to these performances alone, longing for the right partner to share them with. When my kids' father is able to watch the shows, I smile and feel genuinely happy that they have such a good daddy. Of course, being the way that I am, when I see them with him, once again, I smile and get tears in my eyes (embarrassed, hiding my face of course). Did you know that tears and laughter come from the same place?

I long to have that partner, my other half, my bashert. I think when my true love will watch the performances of our children (and my kids as well), he will smile. He will have that same passionate love of seeing our cute, little, munchkins perform and from the beauty of it all, he may have tears as well. Maybe his tears will be similar tears of joy, but for different reasons. Perhaps, his happy tears will be because he loves me and the way he sees my love for our kids. The fact of the matter is, that when my kids even walk up on that stage, it makes my heart melt because I know I'm so lucky to have them. I'm truly blessed with everything, knowing that I get to be their mom. That by itself makes me happy. I know, I know, I'm all mush! But, that's okay... I'm like Midge! Midge was cute!!

My son is in the front row wearing the Lakers sweatshirt.
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