7 Tips to Cope With Snoring and Your Relationship

The following is a contributor article by Neer Tiwari: Is snoring ruining your relationship? Though this may seem like a w...

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Toxic People

There are all sorts of people in this world. Some people want what's best for you and love you completely. Some people will pretend to want what's best for you and pretend to love you (secretly wanting you to fail). Then there are some people that love you so much that it eats them up inside and they can't stand to see you succeed, and the list goes on. There are many haters out there that will openly hate on you, and some that will secretly hate on you, and despise you for your achievements. Obviously, we all want to be loved, and we all want people to not only believe in us and in all that we hope to achieve in life, but to root for us as well. Having said that, we don't always get what we want, and we can't control the minds nor actions of others when it comes to hate, envy, and jealousy.

Burn the bridge:

There are many types of toxic people and many times it's hard to differentiate between whether or not a person is toxic. I don't believe in burning bridges, unless you have to. When it comes to toxic relationships, you usually need to burn the bridge and disconnect from that situation completely. In cases like that, there's no need to remain friends or stay cordial. Of course, it's always good to try and end situations peacefully and remain cordial at the very least. But, sometimes the bridge needs to be burnt, and you must go your separate ways, and dissolve that connection as you know it. In other words, let go of that person and move on with your life. It's important to rid yourself from any toxic relationships that you have. Whether they're romantic or not. Nothing is more draining than keeping toxic people in your life. Keeping toxic people in your life will only bring unnecessary heartache, pain, negativity, and it may end up completely killing any inspiration that you have, leaving you feeling empty and drained.

Toxic behaviours:

There are many types of toxic people. They can be anything from a hater, to a pessimist, or even a compulsive liar. They might be angry at the world, or have little to no self control. They could be users, cheaters, or liars. They could be people that lack empathy for others. They could be violent, temperamental, or overly impulsive. They complain about everything and anything. They can be the type that blames others for everything. They never own up to their mistakes in life, putting the blame on everything and everyone else. People that are toxic are usually negative "Debbie-Downer" types that drain your energy with their hate and negativity. They're never happy, and they blame the world for anything and everything that they feel miserable about. Nothing ever seems good enough for them. They'll find negativity and problems with everything. They tend to see themselves as victims in most or all scenarios from their past to their present, with no truth or reality to it, but it's merely their perception. They're always the victim. They could be selfish and self-absorbed to the point where they come across as arrogant narcissists. 

Toxic people act like know-it-alls, and even when they realize that they're wrong, they don't admit it. They're controlling, impatient, and want everything done their way. They're the types that will love you conditionally. They might even threaten to take their love away if they don't get what they want. If you don't do what they want or say, they'll threaten to peace out of the friendship. If they're a family member, they might even threaten to disown you, if you don't do what they say. They will try to have control of every situation, and they always feel that they know best. There's always drama surrounding toxic people. The drama in a toxic person's life never seems to cease. Toxic people are usually very critical of others, and rarely see or accentuate the positives in others and in the world around them. Toxic people are wishy-washy, unstable, manipulative, and they tend to play mind games. They're rude to others, insensitive to anyone's feelings, other than their own. They're attention seekers that might even be able to cry on demand to gain sympathy.

All of those and other characteristics of toxic people that I might've failed to mention don't usually come in one person. But, I must tell you, I've seen it, and it exists. As well, it's no day in the park to be close to a toxic person. Their misery, negativity, and unhappiness not only drains them, but it drains all those that they come in contact with. Toxic people can be anyone from strangers, employees, co-workers, friends, to family. Yes, toxic people can be in your distant or immediate family as well. Now that you know some toxic behaviours and what types of traits that they usually have, here's how you can handle toxic people.

How to handle toxic people:

End the friendship or relationship. If the toxic person is a family member, distance yourself from them to where you feel comfortable. This may be hard to do, because it will likely cause the toxic person heartache, discomfort, and pain. But, you need to take care of yourself, and you need to know that you'll be doing yourself a justice. A toxic person is someone that needs to work on themselves. When someone is toxic, it's more than an occasional toxic action or mistake that they're doing. Toxic people carry behaviour patterns that can cause others enough grief and stress to destroy them from within. 

Unfortunately, a toxic person's words or actions can change your mood, character (if you're not very resilient), alter your healthy patterns of thinking, and you'll end up feeling miserable, just like them. They can be manipulative, angry, and show signs of depression, putting the blame on you. However, you must be strong, resilient, and you must protect yourself, and distance them from your life. This won't be easy at first, especially if it's someone within your family. Just know that their actions are theirs to fix, and that they're the only ones that have the power to fix them. Usually, the more toxic a person is, the more that they're in denial of being toxic. 

Help yourself:

It's time to take charge of your life, take care of, and protect yourself from unwanted criticism and negativity that has been weighing you down, and draining your enthusiasm and positive energy. Know that what you're doing by removing toxic people from your life is the right thing to do. In doing so, you'll feel new, refreshed, and rejuvenated. You're strong enough to handle this challenge. You're doing this in order to create a happy, calm, and positive feeling from within. There's no need to carry the weight and grief for anyone else's issues. They need to work on their issues and you're not anyone's saviour to fix them. They need to do the work. All you can do is work on surrounding yourself with positive people that are optimistic, love life, and appreciate everything, and everyone that surrounds them. As well, distance those toxic people from your life.

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