The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Empty I Love You

When dating or in a relationship, many times people will tell you what they think that you want to hear, in order to get what they want from you. There are many types of players out there, even players with marital intentions, and all different types of people that have ulterior motives than what they say they do. It's unfortunate that people take advantage of others by being deceiving and manipulating them into thinking that their intentions are pure, when they're nothing of the sort. But, unfortunately, this has become quite common in the dating scene.

When it comes to people telling you that they love you, it's important to not only hear their words, but feel that what they're saying is true. If you don't believe that someone loves you when they say that they do, there could be many reasons why. One of the reasons is because you're insecure, or perhaps you feel that your undeserving of love. Another reason is because your partner has done things to hurt you, and you might question how they could possibly love you, when they've done things to hurt you. As well, your partner might just be saying that they love you in words, but either not showing you in their actions, or not genuinely meaning it when they say it. 

When someone tells you that they love you, but doesn't show you within their actions, it can leave the other person feeling unloved, and question whether or not your intentions are pure. Any semi-intelligent person knows that people throw around words very easily, and many times people will tell you what they think that you'd want to hear, in order to attain their goal. Many times people's goals are impure, and despite what they say that their intentions are with you, they could possibly be after you financially, or possibly just looking to become intimate with you. When someone tells you that they love you, but you don't see it in their actions, even if they truly do love you, then they need to work on that, and romance is a great way of showing your affections towards your partner. 

There are many sweet, little things that can be done to express one's love to their partner, so that they feel your love a bit more. Expressions of love are not always buying things, but many times it can be seen through how much effort you put into doing things with and for your partner, as well as through the amount of time that you spend with your partner. If you don't have a lot of time to spend with your partner, then you should put even more effort into doing things to show your partner that you love them, and when you do spend time with them, you should make sure that it's fabulous. In other words, quality over quantity.

When someone doesn't really love their partner, but they say that they do in words, and they have some type of motive that you're unaware of, you can generally tell over time. When someone doesn't truly love you, they don't really want to spend a lot of time with you, and they definitely don't put a lot of effort into seeing you, or into doing nice things for you. Effort is something far from what they'll display. They won't want to celebrate special occasions with you, whether it's your Birthday, Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, or any other holiday like Thanksgiving, etc. 

It's important to keep your eyes open for these types of people, because if you're not careful, they can leave you hurt, where you might not even know what hit you, and you'll end up feeling insecure, and as if you did something wrong to make them leave. On the contrary, the person was just evil, toxic, self-centered, and truly the epitome of a dishonest soul. Some other ways that you can tell that someone doesn't truly love you, even when they say that they do, is after you've been dating a person for quite some time and they don't invite you to family functions, family events, outings with friends, or into their social world. Those are important factors when it comes to being able to tell that they're likely not all that into you. 

When a person doesn't make you a priority in their life, you can generally feel it, and it never feels good. Even if someone isn't a main priority in someone else's life, they'd still want to feel as if they are. It can be truly hurtful to a person when they're put last all of the time, or treated less important than things that are more of the superficial kind, or just not treated as if they're special at all. It's important to recognize some of the signs when it comes to dating someone that tells you that they love you, because these days, you never really know when someone's intentions are pure, because many people have ulterior motives, and are out for themselves. Many people don't care who they tear down and hurt along the way of attaining their goals. 

I don't promote anyone dating while they have wounds from previous relationships or when they're scared of getting hurt or falling in love. However, as I've said before, I believe that it's important to go into dating with caution, and to be aware when someone is using their words more than their actions, as opposed to predominantly showing you beautiful expressions and actions displaying their love, following it up by their words. Remember, even when you're shopping in a store, you're not going to just buy something because they're selling it. You're going to buy something, because you truly believe that it's going to work, but when you see that you've purchased something that not only doesn't work, and claimed to do something that it clearly didn't, it's time to either take it back to the store, or to throw it out.