The Damage of Being Lied to in Relationships

When it comes to having a happy and healthy relationship, certain fundamentals must be there. These fundamentals are like the pillars...

Monday, September 7, 2015

Pay Attention to Me When the Lights Are On

Nothing's worse than dating or being in a relationship with someone that's too clingy. Having said that, some people like a lot of attention when they're dating or are in a relationship. Some people like getting attention so much, that they'll do just about anything in order to get it. When you're dating someone exclusively, attention seekers tend to get in trouble at times, when they're not getting enough attention from their partner. Unfortunately, many times people end up being unfaithful in relationships, because they're not getting enough love and attention from their loved one. You should find out what kind of person you're dating, while you're dating them, and before you're in an exclusive relationship. By doing so, you'll know what to expect when you're in a relationship and how much attention your partner might need. When you know how much attention your partner desires from you, you'll either be able to provide that type of attention they need or not. If you can't give your partner the attention that they want, it's likely that you're going to run into some problems, if not now, then at some point down the line. 

I believe it's important to be on the same page as your partner and to have great communication with one another while dating, and especially while in a relationship. Getting enough attention from your partner and figuring out how much attention they like, is something that can either be communicated verbally or by observing your partner's actions. If you're feeling like your partner is clingy and you feel smothered by them, it's likely that they need more attention than you're able or willing to give. If that's the case, then you might not be the best possible match for each other. Some people don't like to be with a person that craves a lot of attention and they enjoy having their own space most of the time. It's better to find out how much attention your partner desires to have from you early on, before either one of you gets too attached.

Many things can contribute to a person feeling like they want a lot of attention. For example, it can depend upon how busy a person is, if you're the sole person that they're communicating with, if they don't have much family or many friends, how independent a person is, or how they were raised. Perhaps they were brought up getting a lot of attention from their family, and they're used to it, or it could simply be because they enjoy getting a lot of attention. Some people try to get attention by being totally obnoxious or annoying. Those are the worst types! Having said that, attention seekers are not necessarily doing anything wrong. Of course, you never want to smother people or be too clingy. When a person is wanting attention from someone that's not willing to give it, they're being clingy, smothering, and might tend to become quite a nuisance. 

For those attention seekers that enjoy getting a lot of attention (which would be the healthiest of attention seekers), they should make sure that their partner understands that they like a lot of attention. Their partner should be willing to give them the type of attention that they desire. There are many ways that you can give attention to someone that you love. You can send sweet text messages, leave little love notes on a table for them, or even call them during your lunch break "just because." People that like to get a lot of attention from you in a relationship, don't always need to have your full attention, nor have it all of the time. They simply want to know that you care about them and they enjoy having little reminders that they're on your mind. It doesn't take a lot of effort to show someone that you care and if you love them enough, it's worth making them feel good by giving them the attention that they crave. 

If someone that you're dating doesn't give you the right kind of attention that you crave "during early dating," then you should keep dating others, because they might not be that into you. You don't want to put all of your apples into one basket, stop dating, and put your life on hold for this one person that might not be all that into you. It's important not to fall for someone that's not falling for you. Many times we can measure how much someone is interested in us, by the amount of attention that they give us. If you don't feel like you're getting enough attention from someone that you're dating, don't sweep it under the rug. You should acknowledge that when someone you're dating doesn't give you enough attention, things won't get better, they won't change, and you won't get more attention from them. 

Some people are very independent and live such busy lives, that they don't leave much time to give the person they're dating or in a relationship with attention. When you're dating someone with good intentions, you should give enough time and attention to that person, so that they know that you care about them. It's important to live a balanced life. You should make time to do everything that's important to you in your life, from having time with family, a social life, sports or hobbies, time for yourself, and time for your romantic life, etc. Whatever you do, don't push anything that's important to you aside, and make sure that you give enough attention to the one you love. There will come a time when you might desire their affections and attention, and you will want them to be there for you. Remember, everything should be balanced, natural, out of a genuine and good place in your heart, and never forced. Show your love that you care about them by giving them the attention that they crave. If you're a busy person with a busy schedule and life, you should still make time for things and people that are important to you. Remember, balance is key.