Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Multi-Dating: Falling in Love With Two People at Once


When someone goes out on dates with more than one person at a time, I refer to it as multi-dating. Some people call it serial dating. There are many negative things and issues that come with serial dating. I've never been a big fan of going out with multiple people at once. I highly recommend following the 3 Date Rule. When you're hoping to give situations a real chance, and you're truly looking for something meaningful, and with pure intentions, you shouldn't be dating more than one person at a time after a third date. Dating multiple people after three dates can become very confusing. As well, it can be incredibly difficult or even impossible to develop strong feelings for someone. When someone dates more than one person at a time after about three dates, they're not really giving either situation a real chance. This brings me to the question of whether or not it's possible to be in love with two people at once.

If you followed the 3 Date Rule, it will be impossible to think that you're in love with two people at once. For anyone who learned about the 3 Date Rule a bit late, and has been dating two or more people at the same time without any real commitment, you're the ones with the question (or dilemma I suppose). The truth is, it's impossible to be in love with more than one person at a time. For those that think that they're in love with two people at once, they're wrong. The fact is that when you date more than one person at a time, you're not allowing your heart to truly love either person. At least not enough to be in love. You may love and care for many people. But, to be truly in love is something rare and special. 

Dating Multiple People: Who Do I Love More?


When you're dating more than one person at a time, assuming that you ultimately want to figure out which person you like better, you hit a wall so to speak. You simply can't figure out who you like better. You might even feel as though you love both people, but in different ways. If you ask a friend or a loved one for advice, they might tell you to write down the differences between the two people, like a pros and cons type of list. However, keep in mind that this will never be a dilemma when you follow the 3 Date Rule. I realize that I'm repeating myself. But, it's imperative that many new readers realize that three dates is all that it takes, or at least, all that it should take before exploring a promising situation. When you're truly and utterly in love with someone, you won't question which person you love more.

On the contrary to what many people might suggest you do when you have this type of dilemma of not knowing who you like more, I'd recommend something else. First, understand that you're not in love with either person fully. You may love them both, but you're not in love with either person. When someone is truly in love, they won't even be able to bare the thought of being too physically or emotionally close with anyone other than the person that they're in love with. So just realizing this fact is crucial in moving forward, and deciding who you like better. Next, you should figure out (like others might've suggested) why you like each person. But, here's why! You need to find out whether it's lust or love, if it's healthy, comfortable, or both, and if you love them or if you're just used to them. Most of all, it's imperative to figure out whether you love them on a deeper level or if you've just grown so attached to the person that you can't bare to hurt their feelings or let them go.

End It With One Person


When you love someone, and I mean truly love them, you want their happiness, and what's best for them. You'll want their happiness before your own. This is where it gets complicated. Being in love with someone is wanting their happiness even if they don't want you or see you as the one. This can be a tough pill to swallow at times. Especially, when you've grown so attached and used to a person. But, the fact remains that just because a person likes and cares for you, and may even claim to love you, doesn't mean that you're destined for one another. 

Everyone has a best possible match. Remember this, and remind yourself that whether or not they view you as the one, someday, the right person will. Everyone that believes in love and is open to it will have the chance to welcome and embrace it in their lives at the right time. No one should settle for a semi-good situation. Your best possible match will be a great situation for you. Don't fret or worry too much about hurting the other person's feelings when it comes to ending it. There are kind ways to end things with someone (see: "We Need to Talk"). Remember, it's better to end things with one of the people now, as opposed to possibly hurting them more down the line. If you claim to truly love and care for them, let them go if you like someone else more.

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