Monday, March 14, 2016

Dating Site Addiction

In case you haven't heard of the gaining popularity of online dating, I'm here to tell you that it's not only true, but it's one of the biggest ways that many people are meeting these days. Unfortunately though, online dating comes with a lot of problems. There's a whole lot of weeding through different profiles which many of, aren't even real. When I say that many of them aren't real, I'm basically saying that people aren't what you see, what you read, or what you think when it comes to looking at, or even dissecting someone's dating site profile.

Online Dating Is Hard 

There's an abundance of different reasons why online dating can be so hard. For one, many people are dishonest. Whether they're dishonest by putting up a fake picture, photoshopping a picture until it looks like someone else entirely, displaying the wrong age, fake names, fake phone numbers, or altogether fake profiles. Whatever the lie is that's displayed on someone's profile, whether big or small, it's a lie. As you will hopefully agree, lying is a big no no, when it comes to relationships. I'm a big believer in being brutally honest, open book, and going into situations with an open heart.  

Online dating is hard, but more so when a person is looking for something meaningful, monogamous, and based on honesty. Many people are using online dating for many reasons, other than to meet someone to share their life with. Many people are merely looking for a hookup, a fling, or a new flavour of the week. Perhaps they're looking for a swinging type (definitely not monogamous), casual sex, or a friend that could lead to more "eventually." They might be looking for a rebound partner, if they're not over an ex. They might even be "just browsing," and not looking for anything serious like a commitment. There are numerous reasons for why people choose online dating as their first, second, or third choice when it comes to meeting people. But as you can see, everyone's intention is different.

People choose online dating for many reasons. Although, people have different intentions and motives for why they choose to date someone that they meet online, they have many different reasons as well for why they choose online dating in the first place. Many people are simply too busy in their daily lives and they feel that it's much easier to swipe or browse through profiles, than it is to possibly find someone by going out, or they merely don't have the time (or make the time) to get fixed up, go to events, or singles functions, etc. Their excuse is basically that they're too busy, and online dating is easier, and very convenient. 

There are many people that choose online dating, because they're merely looking for a temporary situation like casual dating or sex. Many of them have wounds from previous relationships that might even be very recent. As well, I hate to break it to all of those that might be dating people that you've met online, but there are a good amount of people that are not only recently separated from a marriage, but there are many that are actually still married, and living at home with their partner (of course, their spouses are usually and unfortunately oblivious). This is such a selfish act on so many levels. People that act in such a shady way are not only causing pain and discomfort to their partners, but to the people that they're dating, and to themselves. Just to give my two cents... or maybe more.

Dating Site Addicts

Now, one of the worst things that happens in the toxic world of dating sites, which is why this article is so deserving of the title is dating site addiction. Being addicted to anything isn't good. People should have pure intentions when going into any situation. People should know what they want, what works for them, and what doesn't in relationships. They should also be fully single, have an open heart, and not carry any recent baggage from previous relationships. That means that they shouldn't have fresh wounds in their hearts, and unresolved pain or discomfort from previous situations. Being emotionally unavailable is huge in the dating site world, and a big no no. As well, people should bring honesty to the table, because all relationships need to be based on a solid foundation which definitely includes honesty as one of the foundation pillars.

There are people that get hooked so to speak. They get hooked on there being so many options. Every profile is better than the next, and they get so easily distracted by emails, pictures, and all else that comes with online dating. I believe in the 3 Date Rule, and when there are 3 dates, it's imperative that both people either mutually turn down their sites to give things a shot, or completely stop dating each other. Whether one agree with this rule or not, it makes online dating not only bearable, but workable, and can bring about success in relationships. It's important that when you meet someone online, you give things a real shot, and deactivate your dating sites when you feel that there's potential. 

There are so many people that are crazy hooked and used to their online swiping, browsing, and chatting, and they can't bear to deactivate their profiles. The problem is that they miss out on many great catches, opportunities of meeting amazing people, and finding something meaningful, merely because they have a hard time getting off of their sites. It's unfortunate, but very true. Many people want to keep their options so open that they miss out on the real deal, even when it's right before them, because they're plain old hooked. An addiction is an addiction, no matter what the addiction is to. "The grass is always greener" effect is a main cause of the dating site addiction. 

The absolute worst part about this addiction, as well as all of the people getting new heartaches and disappointments is that some people actually have an open heart, are brutally honest, are looking for something meaningful, do have pure intentions, and most of all, believe in true love. To all of those that have lied, falsely represented themselves, misled anyone, or know that their intentions aren't exactly pure, try to think twice about all of those that are decent, and hoping to find something meaningful. Deactivate your profiles that maybe should never have been turned on in the first place. Hurting other people is never a good thing. Those that have wounds and are online dating are literally causing other people that have open hearts to get new wounds, and it's incredible selfish, insensitive, and wrong.

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