Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Power of Mind Games

These days it may be hard to decipher who's into playing mind games and who isn't. When it comes to playing mind games, a man or a woman could take the cake. You never really know who's playing games, unless you see the signs. People that are into mind games are generally also the player types, but not always. Player types are generally out for themselves, deceiving, misleading, and usually have ulterior motives than what they say. I've written about the player type before, but not necessarily about mind games. In this article, I'm hoping to stress the importance of what mind games are, how they can hurt people, the reason that people play them, and whether or not most people actually enjoy them.

People can play games with your mind at any age, so it doesn't matter if you're really young, or if you're really old. People play mind games with someone as a way to gain control, take advantage of situations, and in order so that they feel in charge when it comes to dating or being in a relationship. When people play games with your mind, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you. It merely means that they want to be the one wearing the pants so to speak, in the relationship, or even when you're dating. 

The difference between someone that plays mind games and someone that's just a player in general is the fact that players generally don't have an open heart, don't risk falling in love and getting hurt, and generally aren't honest at all. As well, players generally are out for themselves in relationships, and want what they want, and are willing to hurt anyone, in order to get what they want. On the other hand, someone that plays mind games might not only love you, have an open heart, and have pure intentions with you, but they're usually more of the types that waste your time, are confused, think that they're being cute, or are trying to play hard to get, but they may actually like you, and not realize the damage that it could cause. 

Many times people that play mind games are doing so, because someone has played mind games with them, and they're doing it to protect themselves from getting hurt. Many times they're doing so, because they're afraid that you may not like them as much as they actually like you. No one wants to get hurt when it comes to dating or being in a relationship, and even when a person's heart is open, and then may have already fallen in love with you, they're afraid that you might not like them as much as they like you. Therefore, their way of protecting themselves from feeling pain is by pretending that they're not as into you as they really are. What people don't realize is that when they play mind games, it's not only hurtful to the person that they're playing them with, but it's hurtful to themselves, and to the situation that they're in. 

In this day and age, many people are becoming fed up with people that play mind games, whether they understand them or not. I'm hoping that by reading this article, it will help people to have somewhat of a better understanding of why people play these games to begin with. Playing mind games doesn't always come out of a nasty place within someone, but it comes from a place of feeling insecure, and possibly from a person that actually does have feelings for you.

Some people that play mind games are players as well. Those are the worst kind of players. Dating a player that plays mind games can be one of the most toxic situations that people can get themselves into. Players that play mind games are one of the worst types of toxic people that you hopefully won't go out with at any point, but if you do, try and understand that it's not your fault that you fell for someone that was so manipulative and deceiving. Being naïve and vulnerable isn't something to feel shameful for, because it just shows how pure, simple, and open to love that you are as a person, and that's a beautiful thing. However, if you've been burned before by someone that's a player, or a player that plays mind games, it's important to recognize what happened and understand that situation as best as you can, so that it doesn't happen again. It's important to go into dating people with a bit of caution, just in case someone is more of that toxic type, because they do exist, and no one should have to go through that kind of pain, and torture.

There are many ways that people can play mind games. I don't promote playing mind games, I don't play them, and I don't, and won't date anyone that I feel does. When I sense that someone is playing games with me in any way, I not only don't like it, but I leave the situation immediately, despite if they had feelings for me. I was teased a lot growing up, so one of my sensitive issues is being teased, and for those that can relate, it's not fun, funny, or enjoyable by any means to be picked on or teased at any age, and especially when you're young, insecure, vulnerable, and you're still growing into an adult. The same way that I hate bullying, I hate teasing, unless it's a very light, and sweet type of teasing, which can really only happen once you truly get to know me. As far as my own personality, that's what works for me, but as far as others go, many people are stronger in that area, and not only are okay with being teased a bit, but they like it, and think of it as fun, and cute. To others, it may show them that their partner is really into them. This is a tricky thing, because when you don't really know a person yet, and you start teasing them a lot, you never really know what a person is sensitive to, until you actually take the time and get to know them a bit. 

As far as teasing goes, it's a way of playing games with your mind, and I'm not personally into it. However, it's generally not one of the worst ways of playing with someone's mind, but still, it is playing with someone's mind. When it comes to playing with people's minds, there are heavier, and heavier ways that one can do so, and they're not as little as teasing someone, and trying to provoke a reaction. Sometimes people will play mind games with you by controlling text messages, phone calls, and how often they communicate with you or contact you. They might be doing so in order to gain power of the relationship or the situation. However, for me personally, I don't put up with that, and I don't think that anyone should. 

When you sense that a person is playing any type of game with your mind, you should end the situation, but first, make sure that they know that you're not into games. Don't just leave a situation without being clear about why, because despite whether the other person is into games or not, they might let down their guard, if they're afraid of losing you. If people assume that you're into games, they'll likely turn on some game as well, and it's unnecessary. It's unnecessary to play games with anyone, because all you really have to do is mention to the person early on that you're not into playing games, and you don't date anyone that is. I don't know about you, and your personality type, but I don't stick around for people to play games with my mind, and wind up feeling hurt, less than, or insecure by any means. I'm the type that likes a lot of attention in a relationship, and when I don't get enough attention, it's usually either because someone is really busy, and a driven, motivated, hard-working type, or it's because they're playing games. When I find out that someone is more of the game-playing type, I peace out immediately. I'd recommend that you do the same if you're in a similar type of situation. No one should put up with mind games, and once you've let the person know that you're not into playing games, and they still choose to play them, you should leave, and end the situation. 

Another way that people play mind games is by pretending to be someone or something that they're not. When someone doesn't act like their true self, it's not only a waste of time for both people, but a person may end up leaving that situation because they didn't like the version of yourself that you showed them, and they might've actually liked the real you. Many times people have been hurt before, go into new situations before they're ready, or possibly even when they're feeling less confident, and it's important to recognize that you're feeling that way, and stop it immediately! It's important to be confident early in the dating period. You should be confident not only for yourself, but so that the person can see the real you, and decide whether you're a good match for them or not. Whether or not you were a good match for the last person that you dated, it's irrelevant to the fact that you might be the right match for this new person that you're dating, and you need to give it a real chance by showing them your true self, and confidently. 

Remember, confidence is sexy, and arrogance is ugly. There's a very thin line between someone that shows that they're a confident person, by being themselves, and by being proud of themselves for how they look, what they're doing in their life, and how much they've achieved so far. As opposed to someone that's arrogant, trying to prove that they're better than anyone else, that they've achieved more than anyone else, and that anyone that's with them needs to be nearly perfect. Who the heck wants to be with someone perfect anyway! There's nothing fun, and sexy about someone that's perfect in my humble opinion. Even as far as looks go. It's those imperfections that people show, when you get a glimpse of who they really are on the inside, and it's those little imperfections that I personally find very appealing, and attractive. It's those moments when you catch someone off guard, witness an unplanned kindness, a nervous fumble, or anything of the sort that might even appear awkward to most. It's those little things that can be quite charming not only to me, but to anyone that has pure intentions, and that will love you for the real you.

Like I said before, many people these days don't put up with mind games, and when they sense that you're playing them, they end the situation immediately, and sometimes without any notice. You're not giving things a real chance, when you're not being your true self. It's important to show a person who you really are on the inside, and give the situation that you're in a real chance, so they can see if they like the real you, as opposed to a version of you that you might be displaying. When it comes to a person that's acting as if they're less interested in you than they really are, the other person might get turned off by the fact that you're not as into them as they are into you, and they might end the situation, thinking that you're not interested. Don't kill a situation by not letting the person see that you're into them, even if you have to risk getting hurt. 

Playing hard to get is a game that shouldn't be used to gain power in a situation. The only reason that someone should seem like they're playing hard to get, is when they're not ready for certain things to happen yet in a relationship. But just the same, that's why communication is very important in relationships, and you should let the person know that you're not ready for certain things, as opposed to continuously playing hard to get. Otherwise, the person will feel that you're either not into them, or that you're playing games with them by playing hard to get, and not realize that you're truly not ready for certain things to happen yet. Again, communication is everything when it comes to dating and relationships. 

Finally, remember that you're only going to hurt yourself when you play mind games with people, because you might lose the love of your life, and not give things a real chance. Don't miss out on a situation that could be great by being immature, whether you're young or old, by playing mind games. Many people have been in the dating scene for quite some time and are tired of people that play games. They don't care about the reasons why you're playing them, and they might end things quickly, not giving you a chance, even though you might be really interested in them. You don't want to end up hurt and alone, when you could be with someone that might actually adore the real you if you let them see what's really inside of that beautiful soul. 

Most people don't enjoy playing mind games, and they're merely insecure of your feelings towards them. If you find yourself in a situation like any of these that I've mentioned, maybe it's time that you sat the person down, or at least have a heart to heart talk with them if you really care and like them. Explain to the person that you're not into playing games, you want to make sure that they're not either, and let them know how much you really care about them. If they leave or become distant after "the talk," then they weren't all that into you to begin with. It's better to know that now, versus later, when you might've gotten even more attached to them, and it could've hurt a lot more at that point.

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