As many of us know, being single, and meeting people can sometimes be a challenge when you're not into the bar hopping or club scene. More and more people are turning to online dating as a main source for how to meet people. I've written many articles about online dating, but I haven't really specified what I think are the best and worst sites. For me personally, I've been on and off of dating sites for sometime now, off more than on, being that I follow the "3 Date Rule." What can I say, I like to give things a chance!
Despite what many people think, I'm actually truly looking to find the love of my life, get remarried, and have more children. I'm not on dating sites or involved in Facebook dating groups just to share my blog posts, although I do. Online dating is a great way to meet new people, but you have to be cautious, and dedicated into finding a match. Once you find a possible match, you should turn your dating sites off at the appropriate time (3 dates), in order to give things a real chance.
I'm sure everyone has their preferences when it comes to which online dating sites they prefer to use, if any. However, from my personal experience, and from some minor research that I've done, I'm going to share with you some of that sites that I think are the best, worst, and why I feel that way. I'm not going to list every dating site that there is, nor the specific ones that I might be on personally, because this is not my way of putting myself out on the market, because my status I choose to remain private for now. So to all of those nosey people out there that follow my blog, just to be nosey, well, first off, thank you for reading (wink, wink), and stop being so nosey, and just love me.
I hope to give people an idea of the pros and cons within the sites that I mention, at least from my perspective. Keep in mind, I write from my heart, and I don't have a massive ego, so when I write my feelings about these dating sites, please understand that it's coming from a very direct and honest place. I hope that this article will help anyone that's considering online dating, and to those that have tried online dating, I'm wondering if you experience any of the same things. Feel free to comment your thoughts at the end of the post.
There are so many people on Tinder. Being a woman, men are usually the aggressors, and send out messages first, so the amount of messages that I've received were so many that I couldn't respond to nearly anyone. That sounded so hubris, but it's true! The more times that you swipe right, the more messages that you're going to get (if they're interested as well). This is why auto-liking is by no means in anyone's benefit that's actually hoping to meet someone. "Tinderly" is a free app that you can download that will auto-like profiles of everyone that you wrote down in your preferences. However, unless you pay a fee, even Tinderly won't be able to like very many at once.
On Tinder, everyone only gets a certain amount of swipes per day. I found that to be a negative thing, because that can delay someone finding their true love sooner, rather than later. Paying for a subscription on Tinder is crazy if you ask me! The reason is because everyone and anyone will be sending you messages, and you'll never get to respond to most of them. You're not supposed to respond to all messages anyway, only the ones that you're interested in, but still, there's an immense amount of messages. It becomes overwhelming, to the point where I would turn on a different dating site instead, not reading any of the messages, or completely lose interest for the day. In case you don't know, many people will get angry, defensive, and ask you why you bothered swiping right, because you never responded. Don't you love the world of dating sites!
I'd have to say that Match is my favourite dating site out of all of them. On Match, you're able to narrow down your search results for someone that seems like a good fit, as opposed to eHarmony asking 1000 questions. When you turn on a dating site, all you really want to do is put up a few pictures and write a good, decent profile, be very honest and direct, display a bit of your personality, and start searching. No one wants to answer 1 billion questions, unless they don't have a life outside of the dating site world. Just saying...
Match has many good things about it. If you're going to pay a subscription for any dating site, I recommend Match being the only one, or at least the number one. The reason that I find Match to be the best is that I've met more upper class, intellectual, motivated, and driven types, and people that generally fit the description of what I'm personally looking for. I like the fact that you can mark certain things as to who you're hoping to meet, without even having to display it to the public. For example, you can display the amount of education of the person that you hope to meet, whether they have pets, and whether or not they're single, separated, divorced, or widowed, etc. As well, you're allowed to have many different searches, and saved searches as well. When you don't have the time to sit online all day searching, you can have those specific searches emailed to you by checking a little box.
I found Match to be the most organized of all of the dating sites. If someone is bothering, harassing, or obsessively emailing you over and over again (which happens folks), you can easily block them from them seeing you in their search results. Match has a lot of people on their site, but as opposed to the other sites that have so many people as well, the types of people seem to be more upscale, classy, and most of them, as opposed to many of the hookup dating sites, are actually looking for something meaningful. Don't get me wrong, because you seriously have to weed through all of the people that have different intentions than what they say.
One of the bad things that I found on Match a lot, was that many of the men are lying about their age. Whether they tell you their real age on the first phone call, on the first date, or whenever, it's dishonest. Whenever I've seen that someone's age isn't accurate (or anything else), I'd consider them dishonest, and I wouldn't go out with them (or again, if we went out once). Honesty is everything! Most of the men that lied about their ages said that they were doing so, because they were hoping to find someone younger, and they said that younger women tend to only search for men within a certain age range. All of those men that I've spoken to have always had a similar response, but in my opinion, it makes them come across as insecure, dishonest, and I personally wouldn't give them a chance. This goes for anything that's dishonest, including posting pictures that are misleading, and likely from many years ago. Pictures are supposed to be current, and although you can't expect photoshop to stop, you're not supposed to post old pictures that you look nothing like. I'm picky, I know, but it's good to be picky!
I used to think that JDate was just as good as Match, if not better. JDate is good if you're hoping to meet someone that's Jewish. It definitely narrows down people into one religion. However, many people that are on JDate are not actually Jewish. Crazy, right? JDate is supposed to be for Jewish people only, but many people are just hoping to meet someone that's Jewish, and so they use JDate as their online source. I personally haven't come across a lot of that, but I hear such from others. One good thing about JDate is that there are many professionals, intellectuals, and people that are truly looking for something meaningful. In this way, JDate is very similar to Match. However, The problem with JDate is that the same people are on it for years, and there are rarely new faces that show up in search results. Yes, even when your search results are expanded and within a wide range.
I used to think JDate was a great way to meet people, but they recently upgraded their systems, and now there's a whole new look to their website. Normally, and over time, I'd get used to a whole new look and design, when it's better, but I must say, I'm not impressed, nor thrilled with the new design of their website. Now JDate is complicated to use on the computer, as well as the fact that the Jdate app was never any good. However, now the app is better than using the computer. I've paid for JDate subscriptions, but I must tell you, I won't do it again.
In case you haven't read it, "JSwipe auto-like!" Seriously though, JSwipe is like a better, and much cooler version of JDate. It's much easier to use, and it's supposed to be for Jewish people as well, but just like JDate, people that aren't Jewish, but hope to meet someone that's Jewish will join as well. Anytime that someone auto-likes, they'll end up with heavy duty messages, and might even create an angry crowd if they don't respond to some or most of them. Did I mention that people hate when you don't respond! I think that JSwipe is a pretty good site for online dating. It's a free site, which is great, yet you still have to weed through who's on there with pure intentions, and looking for something meaningful, as opposed to who is merely looking for a hook up.
OkCupid is probably one of the most difficult sites to weed out the people that are merely looking for a hook up and people that are looking for something meaningful. You don't have to answer all of the questions that OkCupid asks, but the fact that they ask some of them at all is ridiculous if you ask me. They ask questions and you're supposed to see if your responses and the other person's match up. From your responses, they give you both a percentage as to how well you matched up together. This is kind of like Match, except for the fact that the questions on OkCupid are borderline vulgar. They ask you a lot of questions about sex and your preferences. As well, they're extremely open to people's dating preferences. They give you many options for those that are interested in dating someone of their own gender, or possibly dating both men and women. OkCupid is a very open-minded site. Most of the people on OkCupid that I've come across are usually either just looking for a hook up, send ridiculous messages, or are borderline crazy.
I never tried eHarmony, because their damn questions took me forever! It wasn't just the extent of the questions, but it was the types of questions that they asked. I felt as if the questions that they were asking where invasive and too personal. I didn't want to be labeled into a group or category solely based on my upbringing and past experiences all the way from childhood. As much as our pasts have make us into who we are today, it's our present, and future that I believe should match up the most. But hey, that's just me! Many people have worked hard on themselves, and have had to overcome a great deal. The questions are so labeling, that it will put you into categories with people that might've had troubled pasts and upbringings, but not all of those people have worked on themselves.
I'm way too honest to give the wrong information, so that wasn't an option. It's one thing to have a list of 10 or 20 questions even, but eHarmony takes the cake when it comes to asking questions. It's kind of insane to the point where even in their advertisements on television now, there's a person saying, "Well, have you tried eHarmony?" The person responding with, "I wanted to, but there were so many questions." I'm not sure who's doing their advertising and marketing, but I wouldn't draw attention to one of their weakest and most negative points.