Wednesday, August 12, 2015

How to Make a First Date Less Awkward

Before going on a first date, or even accepting a first phone call with someone new, some of us tend to get a little nervous or excited. Some of us that are generally not shy people, tend to get shy when they go out with someone for the first time. When you go on a first date, it's important that you and try to be yourself as much as possible. The person that you're going out with obviously is interested enough to go out with you. Keep that in mind and hopefully it will help bring down your nerves. 

It's important to be calm, relaxed, confident, and in a pleasant mood when meeting someone new. Being excited and a little nervous on the first date is normal. Some of us feel this way a little more or less on first dates. For me, whether it's a blind date or someone that I've met previously, I still get those first date nerves each time. I wanted to give some tips to all of the singles out there that feel a little shy or nervous before going on a first date. To all of the shy singles out there, this one's for you!

Sometimes, even when we act like ourselves and feel confident, going on a first date can bring out some unfamiliar emotions and nerves. I don't think everyone feels this way, but some of us do. Despite how interesting the conversation may go during your date, there may be silent moments. During the silent moments, some of us blurt out awkward things that rarely make sense. An important thing to remember when going on a first date, is that you don't have to fill in words or talk a lot of mumbo-jumbo, if and when the conversation goes silent. 

I think if everything is flowing on a date and you both like each other for the most part, the silent moments can be nice. Sometimes, the silent moments are where your eyes meet, and you can tell whether there's physical chemistry or not. It's not necessarily a bad thing when there's a silent moment, so try not to let it make you feel awkward. Maybe he's thinking about how radiant you look in your dress and how your lustrous hair is falling so femininely into your eyes. Maybe she's thinking how confident and handsome you appear. Maybe she thinks you look way better in person and feels slightly intimidated by your gorgeous smile. 

Let's say you feel that there are too many silent moments on this date. It's good to be a good conversationalist and bring get interesting things to talk about. But for those moments where neither one of you is coming up with anything to say, you don't have to be the one to fill in the blanks. This is another reason why I feel a coffee date is just not good for a first date. I think it's important to have things to do with your hands like eat or drink wine, etc. I think a little background music can also be nice and effort state so that you can talk about music and try to guess the song that's playing. 

Perhaps you've already figured out that this is going to be a first and last date because of some of the things you've already talked about. In my opinion, I still feel that it's a kind thing to do when people enjoy the rest of the dates and leave in a kindly manner. We're all looking for our soulmates and it never hurts to meet a nice person along the way. For those people who have figured out that this person is all wrong for them, just enjoy the rest of the day and talk about whatever comes naturally. If you know you don't want to be with this person again, you shouldn't feel awkward at all. If you sense that the other person is starting to feel uncomfortable or awkward, you can be the one to bring up a topic to talk about. 

As I've mentioned previously, there are a few things that you can easily do to make a first date less awkward. You can make sure the date is in an environment that has music, something to eat, drinks, or a good atmosphere. Having those things can make it easy to bring up casual conversation. Some other things that you can do to relieve some of that awkwardness on a first date is be comfortable in your own shoes. In other words, be yourself as much as possible. I understand that it can be hard for some of us to do, if we're afraid of being judged. If that's the case, stop feeling judged. That's something you have to control and handle within yourself. Love yourself enough not to care when others are judging you and learn to smile it off. 

A very attractive quality to other people is when they see that you actually like yourself, despite what others may think of you. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in men and women. Being a good conversationalist is a good way to show how confident you are. Being a good conversationalist is always a plus on a first date, because they tend to keep the conversation moving, which doesn't let the other person get a chance to feel awkward. People generally love talking about themselves. If you ask the right questions, people love to talk and share their views on things. 

For those people that write on dating profiles that it's hard to write about themselves on a profile, that's because it's a dating profile, where they're being extremely judged and many times, in a very harsh way. In that case, I'd say to do your best (article to come). If you ask good questions, then make sure that you listen to the person's responses. Part of being a good conversationalist is being a great listener. As the date progresses, and you get to know each other a little more, your nerves and that awkward feeling that you might've had should dissipate. If you like each other, the chemistry will develop and grow into something more beautiful towards the end of the date.

I think that sometimes the way people act can make others feel more awkward on a date. If both people act like themselves and don't try to put on a show or a front, the date should be much more relaxed and enjoyable. Despite what many people might think, I don't think the environment or atmosphere matters all that much. Like I said before, I think it helps to have things to distract yourself and something to keep your hands moving if you get nervous, like food or drinks. But, I don't think it's necessary to be in a very crowded place when on a first date. 

For a first date, I think it's better to go somewhere that has nice background music, candlelight maybe, an environment that you can talk at, and you can hear what each other is saying. You don't want to go to a place that's too loud and crowded. Can you imagine saying to each other, "What?" the whole night long? Yikes, nothing's worse than that! A lot of times on first dates, people ask questions that are inappropriate or don't realize when their prying too much. It's always good to go easy on a first date with all of the questions. 

I'm very big with asking important questions on a first date. However, if I sense that I'm making a person uncomfortable with my questions, I try to ease up. You never want to make another person feel like they're taking an exam. If certain things are very important to you, then I would ask in a way that's kind. Sometimes the way we ask a question can matter, more than the question itself. The manner in which you ask a question can make a big difference in how a person will take it and respond. If you ask things in a delicate, sweet manner, usually people will give you a straightforward answer. I think it's all about the way you ask. 

I think that when both people act like themselves on a first date, feel confident, are honest, and open book, that awkwardness that people tend to feel on a date becomes much less. Before going on a date, it's good to have some form of communication before hand. When you talk to a person before going on a date with them, you can get to know a little bit about the person to see if you have any common interests, etc. When you know a little bit about a person, it gives you things you can talk about on the date.

Remember, the first date is something that should be fun. It's a way of seeing if this person will be a good match for you for a second date, third date, and so on. Remember to keep it light on a first date. But, try to find out the things that will let you know if you want to see this person again. Try not to come on too strong, because it might make the other person feel uncomfortable. Remember, this is a new situation. Try to go with the flow and see what feels right for both of you. When you go with the flow, you can get a better idea of what the other person is comfortable talking about. Have fun and enjoy that first date! Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening.

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